i have the worst kind of trust issues. i feel like anybody that doesn’t like me is out to get me like murder me or something. doxx me or expose me, etc. just something that is very horrible that can ruin my life. even my own friends. i can’t tell if this is just severe trust issues or a compulsion. it might be both tbh. any advice?
It's important to recognize and validate your feelings. Trust issues can stem from past experiences, anxiety, or even trauma. Admitting that you're struggling can be a first step in addressing those feelings. Writing about your thoughts and feelings can be therapeutic. It may help you identify patterns or triggers and allow you to express what you're going through. Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation and deep breathing exercises, can help you stay grounded and manage anxiety. This can help you separate your thoughts from reality. When you start to feel that others are out to get you, try to challenge those thoughts. Ask yourself if there is concrete evidence to support those feelings. Sometimes, rational thinking can help diminish irrational fears. Consider starting to open up to people you feel most comfortable with in small ways as a way to build trust over time. This can be a controlled way to test your feelings, rather than avoiding relationships altogether. Sometimes understanding why we feel the way we do can provide comfort. There are many resources and books on trust issues and anxiety that might resonate with your experience.
@Anonymous - thank you, i will definitely consider getting any books relating to anxiety or trust issues or just ocd in general. this issue makes my life so hard and it’s hard to have a social life when i constantly am worrying about people. i don’t know if i have any trauma that could have caused this except maybe lockdowns at my school because of a criminal nearby. my paranoia just grown to be more severe after i got obsessed with a case about a kidnapping. it’s so hard to deal w this and im trying to get better at controlling it. thank you for this advice! it was hard to accept this and im glad im on the right track.
@aza holmes You're welcome. 🙂 It's completely understandable. Maybe it was OCD, or maybe it was something else. Or maybe even reading or hearing bad news is a trigger for you. Hearing about kidnappings or things of that nature pushes you to this issue. With those techniques, you can make progress, but if you see that you can't do it by yourself, you can consider therapy. Any small step you take is important, and try to see silver linings and positive things. I searched and found some books, but I've never read them. You can read a summary and decide for yourself if they're suitable for you. I read in your profile that you're interested in books. 1. The Trust Factor: The Science of Creating High-Performance Companies by Paul J. Zak- While this book focuses on trust in organizational settings, it provides valuable insights into the nature of trust, which can be applied to personal relationships. 2. Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller- This book explores attachment styles and how they affect relationships, including issues of trust and intimacy. 3. The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk- This book delves into how trauma affects our emotions, including trust issues, and discusses various healing modalities. 4. Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené Brown - Brown explores the importance of vulnerability and the role it plays in building trust in relationships. 5. Anxious to Please: 7 Revolutionary Practices for the Chronically Nice by Jenn Berman- This book addresses people-pleasing behaviors and how they can lead to trust issues, offering practical strategies for change. 6. The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brené Brown - This book encourages self-acceptance and authenticity, both of which are important for building trust with oneself and others. 7. Healing the Shame That Binds You by John Bradshaw- This book discusses the effects of shame on relationships and how it can contribute to trust issues, providing insights and strategies for healing. 8. Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Dr. Sue Johnson - This book is based on Emotionally Focused Therapy and provides practical exercises for couples to build trust and intimacy.
@Anonymous - I seriously appreciate this so much. I’ll definitely try to check these out. Thank you again! :)
@aza holmes Of course 🙂. I wish you a good recovery soon.
Does anyone know how can you determine ROCD compulsive thoughts vs actual relationship issues necessary to bring up? I’ve been in multiple abusive relationships in the past and I don’t want to go through that again. I’ve been with my partner for 3 years, we’re both mentally ill and we’ve hurt each other a lot over the years. I have some trauma due to their alcoholism, but I want to still be there for her. However my head is constantly telling me that whenever they’re gone I’m worried they’re drinking and cheating, trying to harm themself, planning on harming me or they’re gonna die if im not basically with them 24/7. Even when I want time to myself I force myself to be with them sometimes out of fear. I see them do/say something that might suggest these things (following a new girl, ignoring my texts while they’re out, raising their voice at me etc.) and I’m even more convinced and I don’t know how to stop. I don’t know what is a suspicion I SHOULD bring up to them, and what is just a compulsive thought. :( How do I determine that?
So I have harm ocd for sure and I get triggered by some m1rder cases like for some reason my brain gets latched to them and the perpetrators my brain goes ‘what if they’d find you attractive’ ‘would you be one of their victims’ and it feels like they’re watching me, if that makes sense, like they’re watching me, is this a symptom of any type of OCD? Please no judgement I’m super scared and I hate that my brain does this
i'm chatting with this person on discord. i don't know why i think that way, but i started questioning whether they secretly hate me or will judge me in some way. i always expect people to leave me and i'll be all alone. it's scary them not responding to my messages sometimes also fuels that fear. i know they're busy or get distracted sometimes, which isn't their fault at all, but my brain won't stop making worse case scenario and therefore i'm constantly checking when they'll reply to me. they have proved multiple times to me that they're a good person, that they like me and that i have nothing to worry about, yet i can't stop ruminating on the hypotheticals i made before starting to talk to them on a more personal level. i feel like i'm going crazy. my only salvation is random distractions and heart meds.
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