Ragnarking18

Date posted: 1y

Parent with harm ocd

Started anafranil last week. Anxiety is better but thoughts are still 24/7. My harm ocd thoughts are strictly about my son who I live more than anything and I cry everything I think of a good thought with him. I feel shame and guilt over these thoughts. I keep doubting I have ocd and I'm just schizophrenic which scares me to no end. Any other parents going through this theme? Seeking reassurance but idc if it's a compulsion anymore

Rayleigh

Date posted: 1y

Every single thing in this comment is a compulsion! OCD targets what you care about, the FEAR you have of harming him is PROOF of your love. Your ocd is literally saying wow this parents LOVES their kid let me target that. To LONG TERM FIX THIS: everytime the thought and stress pop up: say maybe I Will maybe I won’t and MOVE on. Practice this each time, it should feel uncomfortable and painful and scary and like you’re going to get “humbled” and lose control and hit him. This is your mental illness it is IRRATIONAL. this is EXPOSURE therapy and HEALING. It is The key to moving past OCD. And remeber: there are people walking around who abuse and beat their children and society at large ignores it, you are here crying at the THOUGHT of hurting your son. Side note: work on self compassion and trusting yourself to also Thwart ocd.

Rayleigh

Date posted: 1y

Ocd=doubt disorder. Many ocd patients believe they do not have ocd, that they may develop things like schizophrenia! All normal with having a hyperactive brain that searches for threats in everything

Ragnarking18

Date posted: 1y

Thanks for the reply bro appreciate it

Rayleigh

Date posted: 1y

@Ragnarking18 No problem you got this

Ragnarking18

Date posted: 1y

@Rayleigh Have you gone through harm ocd

Rayleigh

Date posted: 1y

@Ragnarking18 Yes!! It would be extraaa bad when I smoked so I had to stop being high around my pregnant sister cus you already know my ocd took that fact and ran with it. Ocd is ego centric; it was worse because i know how bad punching a PREGNANT woman, who is also my sister would be. Ocd is like the most judgy pressuring parts of society condensed into one voice in your head that bullies you all day. Making you imagine these awful things. I vividly felt How bad of a person I would be seen as, how bad I would feel. I felt my body heat up, an extremely vivid image of me punching her gruesomely flashing in my head. I would avoid her altogether, or try to position my self far from her. I couldn’t enjoy time with her because im in my head terrified begging myself not to lose control.

Ragnarking18

Date posted: 1y

@Rayleigh Damn I'm goin through same shit smh

Robyn🪴🧘🏻‍♀️🧠

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

I went through this very same thing three years ago.

Ragnarking18

Date posted: 1y

I'm so glad you were able to conquer it. Were u scared to go home at the end of the day? And everytime I get a snap chat from my gf of our son I feel so guilty and thoughts pop up

Robyn🪴🧘🏻‍♀️🧠

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@Ragnarking18 I’m a stay at home mom. I would have panic attacks every morning when I woke up because I knew my son was about to come in my room after waking up. I wanted to avoid him in every way I could. It was a very difficult time in my life and I am thankful to have healed from it. Are you working with an ERP therapist?

Ragnarking18

Date posted: 1y

@Robyn🪴🧘🏻‍♀️🧠 Yea it sucks because I love him so much. Even typing that the thoughts of no u don't come up. Yea I've had 4 weeks of it with this therapist on here but she kept asking me if I hear voices or am I planning to act out the thoughts. I was like NO of course not but I just answered that last week so I'm trying some1 new sunday

Robyn🪴🧘🏻‍♀️🧠

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@Ragnarking18 Yes, you definitely want a therapist you can trust and feel comfortable with. I definitely understand the hurt you are feeling right now from OCD. ERP takes time. And sometimes it gets worse before it gets better. I like to think of it as you are starting to poke at and irritate the monster and it’s going to do all it can to fight you. You can do this. It helps to think of and write down where you want to be this time next year.

Ragnarking18

Date posted: 1y

@Robyn🪴🧘🏻‍♀️🧠 I really appreciate the replies and encouragement. And moments of relief and peace is a win and yes I'll try that today

mfernandes1

Date posted: 23w

Postpartum ocd/harm ocd

Hi there! I am 4 months postpartum and struggling with harm ocd, the fear of what if I harm my child. It has manifested to the fear of what if I harm my husband, sister, nieces, parents, etc. Anyone else have this experience and how did you get through it?

BiancaIsGrowing

Date posted: 23w

Having a hard time

I have to be alone with my children tomorrow and I'm scared. Harm OCD has me panicking and ruminating. I don't want to hurt my babies they mean everything to me. I keep fighting for them, I got a better job for them and I want to create a better life for them. I'm so afraid that I might hurt them so I need to be away from them but I also don't want to be away from them. The thoughts and images are so much. I'd rather die before I hurt them. Accepting the uncertainty of possibly hurting them is not something I can accept or live with. And it doesn't help having existential ocd because that says none of it matters anyway. I just want to be the old me, I hate this disorder I hate this disease I hate me for having these thoughts. I'm sorry for ranting. I just need to get it out. I hate this worry disorder!

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 11w

Harm ocd

Anybody else struggling with harm OCD?? Father here, mainly goes for my wife and son. It’s been very debilitating. Just started with nocd, anybody going through the same thing or has gotten better??

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