Does anyone else keep thinking about whether they really have OCD or if it's a personality thing? I think I have contamination OCD (and possibly other forms), even if I haven't been diagnosed. Yet, I keep thinking that it might just be my personality and that I'm just a bit picky about things being clean or whatever, even if I don't want it to be so and want to be like most people I know. And then I feel guilt for being a bad person because I "want to have OCD". I mean, I don't want to have OCD (if what I go through already is anything like it, this sucks) but me having it would mean that treatment is possible, but if it was a personality thing, you can't change personalities.. right..? Lately it's been an issue that's on my mind a lot, and I get quite stressed thinking about it, and I keep trying to find evidence as to why it's a problem that needs solving, or trying to figure out its severity.. or even getting the urge to tell someone to see if they go through the same, or if it's just me.. I can't really get professional help.. at least, not now. Yet, I keep stressing over this, and not being sure feels like it's killing me.. "Can I actually control this?", "Am I a fraud for being on this app?", "Am I just eccentric?" are just some of the thoughts I get at night.. What do you guys think? Has anyone else felt this way before? What do y'all think would help?

LunaTick

Date posted: 6y

The fact you’re questioning it sounds like OCD, not to say you have it. I’ve been diagnosed and it took a few months of therapy before I finally stopped questioning myself. It’s definitely a thing.

Adrianos

Date posted: 6y

Ah, do you have any tips on how to stop questioning oneself? Because, as I said, I can't see a therapist at the moment, but I want it to stop

LunaTick

Date posted: 6y

@Adrianos The only thing that finally worked for me was asking myself, “Would I be questioning myself about having OCD if I didn’t have OCD? No. If I were making a big deal out of a simple personality trait, would I be obsessing over it? No.” Questioning my every thought about whether or not I have OCD finally made me realize it’s the OCD forcing me to question everything.

Adrianos

Date posted: 6y

@AimeeRenae Yea, agreed. I tell myself that too, but sometimes it just feels like going back and forth in an endless loop of "yea.. maybe..? But what if..? But..", etc..

Freq Eraser

Date posted: 6y

Those kinds of questions have been part of my OCD.

Adrianos

Date posted: 6y

Same here. Tbh, I'm glad I'm not the only one who has those questions.

jenagade

Date posted: 6y

I never suspected OCD but after I was diagnosed it I seemed blatantly obvious and I wondered how my past doctors had missed it. I did feel like an imposter in spaces like this to begin with but once I learnt more about how OCD can affect your life I realised it fitted. I suggest looking up the y-bocs OCD type checklist and see if any of those things reflect what you're going through. I burst into tears the first time I read about the individual obsessions because they pretty much described everything I was struggling with.

Adrianos

Date posted: 6y

Yea, I looked that up, and I was surprised at how much I related to it and how much I related to other people's stories. It made me more certain about it, but it's like the doubt is sitting there, waiting for the right moment to attack..

jenagade

Date posted: 6y

@Adrianos That is by far the stupidest thing I've found about OCD, the doubt which makes you doubt whether you actually have OCD when in reality the mere fact you're obsessing over whether you actually have OCD probably means you do.

Adrianos

Date posted: 6y

@jenagade Tell me about it xD I was thinking so too as I was writing the post, actually

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