Sharing a guided ERP exercise script for the gym

Anyone else struggle with facing the gym, or any exercise in public? I created a personalized script for myself to listen to (using any text to speech feature/app like Speechify). I’m excited to try it today! — **Introduction** Welcome to your comprehensive, mindful full-body push workout. This program is specifically designed for you—a 38-year-old man new-ish to fitness, navigating severe ADHD and OCD-related anxiety in gym settings. We understand that counting repetitions and maintaining focus can be challenging, so we've provided a detailed, step-by-step narration to guide you through every movement. This workout emphasizes simple equipment like dumbbells and machines that don't require a spotter, ensuring you feel comfortable throughout your session. Our focus is on "push" exercises, which involve pushing weight away from your body, targeting muscles like the chest, shoulders, triceps, and legs. Each exercise incorporates a technique called **eccentric slowing**, where you'll perform the lowering phase of the movement four times slower than the lifting phase. This method enhances muscle engagement and has been shown through research to improve strength gains effectively. We acknowledge that you may have a tendency to overdo it, give up early, or get distracted by trying to adjust the workout mid-session. Additionally, feelings of insecurity and fear of embarrassment might tempt you to avoid certain actions. This guide is structured to keep you on track, providing clear instructions and incorporating **Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP)** techniques to help you face and move beyond your anxieties. Remember, you don't have control over what others might think, and that's okay. Your real competition is yourself—the goal is progress at your own pace, forging ahead toward growth as your wisest self defines it. When intrusive thoughts arise, acknowledge them, thank your mind for trying to protect you, and set a boundary to proceed despite any discomfort. The potential threat posed by these thoughts is not greater than the threat of OCD controlling your life. --- ### **Section 1: Warm-Up** **Purpose of Warming Up** Warming up prepares your muscles and joints for physical activity, increases blood flow, and reduces the risk of injury. It also helps you transition mentally into your workout, promoting focus and reducing anxiety. **Finding a Space to Warm Up** - Locate an open area in the gym where you can move freely without obstructing others. - Common spaces include near stretching mats or in a quiet corner. **ERP Reminder** - **Exposure:** Being in the gym might trigger thoughts like "People are watching me" or "I might look foolish." - **Response Prevention:** Acknowledge these thoughts without engaging with them. Remind yourself that these feelings are normal and part of the process. **Warm-Up Exercises** 1. **Deep Breathing and Grounding** - Stand with your feet hip-width apart. - Close your eyes if comfortable. - Inhale slowly through your nose for a count of four. - Exhale gently through your mouth for a count of six. - Repeat this breathing cycle three times, focusing on the sensation of air entering and leaving your body. - **Mindfulness Tip:** If anxious thoughts arise, notice them, thank your mind for its concern, and gently return your focus to your breath. 2. **Neck Stretches** - Gently tilt your head to the right, bringing your ear toward your shoulder. - Feel the stretch on the left side of your neck. - Hold for five seconds. - Return to the center. - Repeat on the left side. - Perform this stretch twice on each side. - **ERP Reminder:** It's okay if you feel self-conscious. Others are focused on their own workouts. 3. **Shoulder Rolls** - Inhale as you lift your shoulders up toward your ears. - Exhale as you roll them back and down. - Repeat this movement five times, releasing tension with each exhale. - **Mindfulness Tip:** Feel the release of tension with each roll. 4. **Arm Circles** - Extend your arms out to your sides at shoulder height. - Make small forward circles with your arms for ten seconds. - Reverse the direction, making backward circles for another ten seconds. - Feel the movement in your shoulder joints. - **ERP Reminder:** If you worry about looking silly, remind yourself that warming up is a normal part of everyone's routine. 5. **Bodyweight Squats** - Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart. - Slowly bend your knees, lowering your hips as if sitting back into a chair. - Keep your back straight and chest lifted. - Lower down over a count of **four seconds**. - Pause briefly at the bottom. - Stand back up over **one second**, pushing through your heels. - Repeat five times, focusing on form and control. - **Mindfulness Tip:** Notice the sensation in your legs and the strength in your movements. --- ### **Section 2: Dumbbell Chest Press** **Understanding the Exercise** The dumbbell chest press targets your chest muscles (pectoralis major), shoulders (deltoids), and triceps (back of the upper arms). It's performed lying on a flat bench using dumbbells. **Locating the Equipment** 1. **Finding a Flat Bench** - Look for a bench without any incline or decline. - Ensure it's unoccupied and accessible. - **ERP Challenge:** If you feel anxious about approaching the bench, remind yourself that everyone has the right to use the equipment. Proceed despite the discomfort. 2. **Selecting Dumbbells** - Choose two dumbbells weighing 5 pounds each. - Dumbbells are usually arranged on racks with weight labels. - **Mindfulness Tip:** As you pick up the dumbbells, feel their weight in your hands. **Setting Up** 1. **Positioning Yourself** - Sit at the end of the bench with a dumbbell in each hand, resting on your thighs. - Carefully lie back onto the bench, bringing the dumbbells to shoulder level. - Keep your feet flat on the floor, knees bent at 90 degrees. - **ERP Reminder:** If you're worried about lying down correctly, accept that it's okay to be learning. Others are not judging you. 2. **Starting Position** - Hold the dumbbells at chest level with palms facing forward. - Your elbows should be bent at about 90 degrees, slightly below shoulder height. - Keep your wrists straight and aligned with your forearms. **Performing the Exercise** Since keeping track of reps can be challenging, we'll guide you through each one. **Repetition Guide (Total of 10 Reps)** 1. **First Rep** - **Inhale**: Take a deep breath, preparing to lift. - **Exhale and Press Up**: Push the dumbbells upward over **one second** until your arms are almost fully extended. - **Pause Briefly**: At the top, without locking your elbows. - **Inhale and Lower Slowly**: Lower the dumbbells back to the starting position over **four seconds**, focusing on controlling the movement. - **Mindfulness Tip:** Feel the muscles in your chest and arms working together. 2. **Second Rep** - **Exhale and Press Up**: Push the dumbbells up in **one second**. - **Pause**: Briefly at the top. - **Inhale and Lower Slowly**: Lower over **four seconds** with control. - **ERP Reminder:** If thoughts like "Am I doing this right?" arise, acknowledge them and continue with the next rep. 3. **Continue This Pattern** - Repeat these steps for each rep, maintaining focus on your form and breathing. - **Mindfulness Tip:** Stay present with each movement, one rep at a time. **Form Tips** - Keep your back flat against the bench. - Avoid arching your back or lifting your shoulders. - Focus on smooth, controlled movements. **ERP Challenge** - If you feel the urge to check if others are watching, resist the compulsion. - Remind yourself that your focus is on your own progress. **Rest Between Sets** - Carefully lower the dumbbells to rest on your thighs. - Sit up slowly, then stand if you prefer. - Rest for about one minute. - During rest, take deep breaths and shake out any tension in your arms. - **Mindfulness Tip:** Observe any anxious thoughts without judgment. Let them pass like clouds in the sky. **Completing the Sets** - **Total Sets**: Perform **two sets** to avoid overexertion. - If you feel comfortable and focused, you may perform a third set. - **ERP Reminder:** Trust your judgment about your body's limits. It's okay not to overdo it. **After the Exercise** - Return the dumbbells to their designated place on the rack. - **ERP Challenge:** If worried about putting them back incorrectly, do it anyway, accepting that it's okay to make mistakes. - Wipe down the bench with provided disinfectant wipes to maintain hygiene. - **Mindfulness Tip:** Feel the satisfaction of completing the exercise. --- ### **Section 3: Dumbbell Shoulder Press** **Understanding the Exercise** The dumbbell shoulder press works your shoulder muscles (deltoids), triceps, and upper back. It's performed while seated to provide stability and control. **Locating the Equipment** 1. **Finding a Seated Bench** - Look for a bench with back support. - Ensure it's available for use. - **ERP Challenge:** If you feel hesitant about taking up space, remind yourself that you have as much right as anyone to use the equipment. 2. **Selecting Dumbbells** - Choose two dumbbells weighing 5 pounds each. **Setting Up** 1. **Positioning Yourself** - Sit on the bench with your back firmly against the support. - Hold a dumbbell in each hand, resting them on your thighs. - **Mindfulness Tip:** Feel the connection between your back and the bench, providing support. 2. **Starting Position** - Lift the dumbbells to shoulder height as you bring them up from your thighs. - Your palms should face forward. - Elbows bent at 90 degrees, aligned with your shoulders. **Performing the Exercise** **Repetition Guide (Total of 10 Reps)** 1. **First Rep** - **Inhale**: Prepare by taking a deep breath. - **Exhale and Press Up**: Push the dumbbells upward over **one second** until your arms are nearly straight. - **Pause Briefly**: At the top, without locking your elbows. - **Inhale and Lower Slowly**: Lower the dumbbells back to shoulder height over **four seconds**. - **ERP Reminder:** If you worry about your form, accept the uncertainty and continue. 2. **Second Rep** - **Exhale and Press Up**: Lift the dumbbells in **one second**. - **Pause**: Briefly at the top. - **Inhale and Lower Slowly**: Lower over **four seconds** with control. - **Mindfulness Tip:** Focus on the sensation in your shoulder muscles. 3. **Continue This Pattern** - Repeat for each rep, focusing on smooth movements and steady breathing. **Form Tips** - Keep your back against the bench to support your spine. - Avoid shrugging your shoulders; keep them down and relaxed. - Maintain a steady pace without rushing. **ERP Challenge** - Allow yourself to be present despite any discomfort. - Remember, the goal is to face the fear of embarrassment and proceed anyway. **Rest Between Sets** - Carefully lower the dumbbells onto your thighs. - Rest for about one minute. - Use this time to breathe deeply and relax your muscles. - **Mindfulness Tip:** Feel your heartbeat and the energy in your body. **Completing the Sets** - **Total Sets**: Perform **two sets**. - Add a third set if you feel capable and maintain proper form. **After the Exercise** - Return the dumbbells to the rack. - Wipe down the bench and any equipment used. - **ERP Reminder:** If you feel the need to excessively check the equipment, resist the urge. Trust that you've done what's necessary. --- ### **Section 4: Dumbbell Triceps Extension** **Understanding the Exercise** This exercise focuses on the triceps—the muscles on the back of your upper arms responsible for extending the elbow. **Locating the Equipment** 1. **Finding a Suitable Space** - You can perform this exercise seated or standing. - Choose an area where you're comfortable and not obstructing others. - **ERP Challenge:** If worried about being in the way, find a spot and proceed, accepting that perfect placement isn't necessary. 2. **Selecting a Dumbbell** - Choose one dumbbell weighing 5 pounds. **Setting Up** 1. **Positioning Yourself** - If seated, sit on a bench with back support. - Hold the dumbbell with both hands, grasping the top end (the weight plate) with your palms facing up. - **Mindfulness Tip:** Feel the texture of the dumbbell in your hands. 2. **Starting Position** - Lift the dumbbell overhead until your arms are fully extended. - Keep your elbows close to your ears, pointing forward. **Performing the Exercise** **Repetition Guide (Total of 10 Reps)** 1. **First Rep** - **Inhale**: Prepare for the movement. - **Exhale and Lower Slowly**: Bend your elbows to lower the dumbbell behind your head over **four seconds**. - **Pause Briefly**: At the bottom of the movement. - **Inhale and Lift Up**: Extend your arms to raise the dumbbell back overhead in **one second**. - **ERP Reminder:** If self-conscious about your form, acknowledge the thought and continue. 2. **Second Rep** - **Exhale and Lower Slowly**: Lower the dumbbell over **four seconds**. - **Pause**: Briefly. - **Inhale and Lift Up**: Raise the dumbbell in **one second**. - **Mindfulness Tip:** Focus on the stretch and contraction in your triceps. 3. **Continue This Pattern** - Repeat for each rep, maintaining control and focus. **Form Tips** - Keep your back straight and core engaged. - Avoid flaring your elbows outward; keep them pointing forward. - Move slowly to ensure control and prevent injury. **ERP Challenge** - Embrace the discomfort of possibly not doing it perfectly. - Remind yourself that growth comes from facing these moments. **Rest Between Sets** - Carefully lower the dumbbell to your lap or place it on the floor. - Rest for about one minute. - Relax your arms and breathe deeply. - **Mindfulness Tip:** Notice the sensations in your muscles. **Completing the Sets** - **Total Sets**: Perform **two sets**. - Consider a third set if you feel strong and focused. **After the Exercise** - Return the dumbbell to the rack. - Wipe down any equipment you used. - **ERP Reminder:** Resist any urge to excessively check or rearrange the dumbbells. --- ### **Section 5: Bodyweight Squats** **Understanding the Exercise** Bodyweight squats strengthen your quadriceps (front of the thighs), hamstrings (back of the thighs), glutes (buttocks), and core muscles. **Finding a Suitable Space** - Locate an open area where you can perform squats without hindering others. - Ensure the floor surface is even and non-slip. - **ERP Challenge:** If you feel exposed, proceed despite the discomfort, acknowledging that this is part of overcoming avoidance. **Performing the Exercise** **Repetition Guide (Total of 10 Reps)** 1. **First Rep** - **Starting Position** - Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart. - Toes pointed slightly outward. - Arms extended forward for balance or hands clasped in front of your chest. - **Inhale and Lower Slowly**: Begin bending your knees and pushing your hips back over **four seconds**, lowering into a squat. - Keep your chest lifted and back straight. - Knees should align with your toes but not extend past them. - **Pause Briefly**: At the bottom of the squat. - **Exhale and Stand Up**: Push through your heels to rise back up in **one second**. - **Mindfulness Tip:** Feel the strength in your legs and the stability in your stance. 2. **Second Rep** - **Inhale and Lower Slowly**: Lower into the squat over **four seconds**. - **Pause**: Briefly. - **Exhale and Stand Up**: Rise in **one second**. - **ERP Reminder:** If thoughts about your appearance arise, accept them without judgment and continue. 3. **Continue This Pattern** - Repeat for each rep, focusing on form and controlled movement. **Form Tips** - Keep your weight distributed evenly on your feet. - Avoid letting your knees cave inward or outward excessively. - Maintain a neutral spine throughout the movement. **ERP Challenge** - Embrace any discomfort about performing exercises in view of others. - Recognize that avoiding these situations reinforces anxiety. **Rest Between Sets** - Rest for about one minute. - Walk around gently to keep your muscles warm and loose. - **Mindfulness Tip:** Observe your breathing and heart rate returning to normal. **Completing the Sets** - **Total Sets**: Perform **two sets**. - Add a third set if you're comfortable and maintaining proper form. --- ### **Section 6: Seated Leg Press (Optional)** **Understanding the Exercise** The seated leg press targets your quadriceps, hamstrings, and glutes, similar to squats but using a machine. **Locating the Equipment** - Find the leg press machine, which has a seat and a large foot platform. - **ERP Challenge:** If you're hesitant to use a machine you're unfamiliar with, accept the uncertainty and proceed. **Setting Up** 1. **Adjusting the Seat** - Sit on the machine. - Adjust the seat so your knees are bent at about 90 degrees when your feet are on the platform. - Ensure you're comfortable and can reach the platform without overextending. - **Mindfulness Tip:** Feel the support of the seat and the position of your body. 2. **Selecting the Weight** - Set the machine to a low weight, such as 20 pounds. - Adjust the weight stack by inserting the pin into the desired weight. - **ERP Reminder:** If unsure about the weight selection, choose a light weight and accept that it's okay not to be perfect. **Performing the Exercise** **Repetition Guide (Total of 10 Reps)** 1. **First Rep** - **Starting Position** - Place your feet shoulder-width apart on the platform. - Keep your back against the seat and hands on the side handles for stability. - **Exhale and Press**: Push the platform away from you over **one second** until your legs are almost straight. - Do not lock your knees. - **Pause Briefly**: At the top of the movement. - **Inhale and Bend Slowly**: Bend your knees to lower the platform back over **four seconds** to the starting position. - **Mindfulness Tip:** Notice the muscles in your legs working together. 2. **Second Rep** - **Exhale and Press**: Push the platform in **one second**. - **Pause**: Briefly. - **Inhale and Bend Slowly**: Lower over **four seconds**. - **ERP Reminder:** Accept any anxious thoughts about using the machine and continue. 3. **Continue This Pattern** - Repeat for each rep, ensuring controlled movements. **Form Tips** - Keep your feet flat on the platform throughout. - Avoid lifting your heels or toes. - Maintain a steady breathing pattern. **ERP Challenge** - Resist the urge to avoid the machine due to unfamiliarity. - Embrace the opportunity to learn and grow. **Rest Between Sets** - Rest for about one minute while remaining seated. - Relax your legs and breathe deeply. - **Mindfulness Tip:** Feel the support of the seat beneath you. **Completing the Sets** - **Total Sets**: Perform **two sets**. - Proceed only if you feel comfortable and maintain good form. **After the Exercise** - Wipe down the machine, including the seat and handles. - Ensure the area is tidy for the next user. - **ERP Reminder:** Trust that you've cleaned adequately without overchecking. --- ### **Section 7: Cool-Down** **Purpose of Cooling Down** Cooling down helps your body transition back to a resting state, reduces muscle stiffness, and promotes relaxation. **Finding a Space to Cool Down** - Return to the area used for warming up or find a quiet spot with mats. - **ERP Challenge:** Even if you feel like leaving immediately, allow yourself this time to cool down. **Cool-Down Exercises** 1. **Hamstring Stretch** - **Seated Forward Fold** - Sit on the floor with legs extended in front of you. - Gently reach toward your toes, keeping your back straight. - Hold for 20 seconds, feeling the stretch along the back of your thighs. - **Mindfulness Tip:** Breathe deeply into the stretch. 2. **Quadriceps Stretch** - **Standing Quad Stretch** - Stand near a wall or hold onto something stable for balance. - Bend your right knee, bringing your heel toward your buttocks. - Grasp your right ankle with your right hand. - Keep your knees close together. - Hold for 20 seconds. - Repeat on the left leg. - **ERP Reminder:** If you feel self-conscious, accept the feeling and continue. 3. **Chest Stretch** - **Standing Chest Opener** - Stand tall with feet shoulder-width apart. - Clasp your hands behind your back. - Gently lift your hands upward and away from your body. - Feel the stretch across your chest and shoulders. - Hold for 20 seconds. - **Mindfulness Tip:** Feel the openness in your chest. 4. **Shoulder Stretch** - **Cross-Body Stretch** - Bring your right arm across your chest. - Use your left hand to gently pull your right arm closer. - Hold for 20 seconds. - Repeat with the left arm. - **Mindfulness Tip:** Release any tension in your shoulders. 5. **Deep Breathing** - Stand or sit comfortably. - Inhale deeply through your nose for a count of four. - Exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of six. - Repeat three times, allowing your body to relax further with each breath. - **ERP Reminder:** Let go of any lingering anxious thoughts. **Mindfulness and Reflection** - Acknowledge the effort and commitment you've shown. - Notice any sensations in your body—areas of warmth, relaxation, or mild tension. - Appreciate yourself for taking this time to focus on your health and well-being. - **ERP Conclusion:** Recognize that by facing your fears and proceeding despite discomfort, you've taken a significant step in managing your OCD. --- **Conclusion** Congratulations on completing your mindful full-body push workout incorporating Exposure and Response Prevention techniques. This session was designed to guide you through each movement with detailed instructions, helping you stay focused and present while confronting and moving beyond your anxieties. Remember that it's normal to feel uncertain or self-conscious when starting something new or challenging your OCD-driven fears. By choosing to proceed despite discomfort, you've demonstrated courage and commitment to your personal growth. Over time, these exercises and the act of facing your fears will become more manageable, and your confidence will grow. Consistency is key, so consider revisiting this guide for future workouts. Always listen to your body, and don't hesitate to adjust the intensity to suit your comfort level. Embrace the understanding that you cannot control others' perceptions, but you can control your response to your thoughts and fears. Thank you for dedicating this time to your health and well-being. Each session is a significant stride toward a stronger, more mindful, and resilient you. --- **Final ERP Reflection** Your real competition is yourself. The true challenge lies in progressing at your own sacred developmental edge, forging onward toward growth as defined by your wisest self—intuitively, implicitly, and consciously. By acknowledging intrusive thoughts and choosing not to let them dictate your actions, you've taken control away from OCD and reclaimed it for yourself. Keep embracing these moments of courage; they are the building blocks of lasting change.

Justwiththew...

Date posted: 23w

My Evolution of PTSD to Trauma Related OCD: How I'm Still Alive

Oh my god, where do I start? Trauma related OCD is the worst crap I've ever experienced in my life, hands down. It develops in some people after a traumatic experience. You can have both trauma related OCD and PTSD together or develop it after PTSD. Mine was like a transitionary phase and developed it after PTSD. I had every symptom of PTSD prior to this from witnessing a traumatic event which I will not go into detail about. But I will tell you how I went from PTSD to OCD and what I've experienced with all of this as some guy in their late 20s. So, right after the traumatic event I developed poor concentration, reoccuring nightmares, fear, insomnia, restlessness, irritation, reoccurring thoughts about the event, forgetfulness and a faulty fight or flight response triggered by the thoughts. The freaking insomnia killed me for a year straight. Imagine going to sleep at 3 am and getting up at 7 am with a faulty fight or flight response kicking in right away for that whole entire day now. It felt like my body was boiling and radiating with the hottest energy you can imagine from my legs all the way up to my head. And I also felt weak, drunk and terribly lightheaded every single day. Rinse and repeat all of that for 1 year straight. Thank god that's over now. It was a damn nightmare of nightmares. Most of those PTSD symptoms eventually disappeared but not all of them. I just found the will and mental strength in myself to let most of that PTSD crap go. But you know what happened pretty damn soon after that? It was all eventually replaced with trauma related OCD. It's like the PTSD evolved and didn't want me getting away so easily. For me, it's a mix of handwashing OCD and really bad somatic or sensorimotor OCD but that's not all. I also have distorted senses, bad forgetfulness, terrible concentration abilities, tension headaches and irritation every single day. Here are some examples of what I go through; I'll turn the lights off, but my brain imagines the lights are on still. I'll stand there trying to process that the lights are off while fighting the distorted sense perception from my brain. So, I keep 'checking' to make sure the lights are indeed off. Not a good situation to be in. I have pretty much every somatic OCD symptom of breathing, swallowing, blinking, eye movements and most bodily functions. My brain's like telling me if you don't do it the 'right way' then I have to keep doing it until I feel like I did it the 'right way.' It's a 'feeling' issue, a really bad one I should say. All of this crap causes my fight or flight response to kick in, gives me some loss of sleep, irritation and mental agony. Also, if I 'feel' like I forgot to do something even though deep down I already know I did said thing, I feel compelled to do it again until that feeling subsides. It's like this, "I know I just did that but my brain wants me to feel like I didn't do it. Therefore, let's do it again." The handwashing is bad too. But I normally do it to 'feel good' about something in my head. Hence, the obsessive handwashing. The dfference between this OCD stuff and PTSD is that PTSD has you focused solely on the traumatic event while this OCD has me focused on many, many different compulsions which is much worse. One thing vs many compulsions? The latter is by far worse, trust me. Focusing on the compulsions screws up my ability to focus and think about what I'm doing at hand. If I ignore them, just imagine a tension headache with a really irritated hot spot forming in your head somewhere and coming in hard and fast. Now, I've successfully ignored many urges but... new ones just keep coming and forming. It's a constant battle. Every freaking day is a terrible battle with this stuff. If I slip up and let something become a compulsion and get out of hand, I fight it like fighting to the death and it then takes a while for me to climb back up out the hole I fell into. Once I'm out of the hole, the incessant battle of resisting continues. Here's some more weird things I do for example; basically, if I'm desperate to keep a compulsion away, I have to do other unrelated things a certain way or else I get the urge to go right back to doing said compulsion. And sometimes weird sensations, strain or pain I might feel while doing something throughout the day will alone trigger me to do an earlier compulsion. I also have to get a good night sleep after a battle with a compulsion. If I don't, that compulsion comes right back and I have to fight it the next day. It's a vicious cycle. I know, it's very screwed up. You don't have to tell me. I sometimes repeat myself over and over again out loud to make my brain "click" with what I'm saying. Now, this one started with the PTSD and I'm not sure if it's a cognitive and concentration issue or an OCD issue but it did actually get better over time thankfully. I hated that anyway. This is a glimpse of what I go through on a daily basis. And yeah, I do ERT all the time and it's not like a magic wand you can wave in the air and then everything's gone and back to normal. In my experience, it has worked for some things but other things, not so much. I've taken saffron, NAC, valerian root, passion flower, other supplements and other stuff to see if it would all help in some way. Saffron is touted as an SSRI equivalent but it did nothing for my OCD surprisingly except make me tired. I took it for a couple months and just hated the tired and drowsy feeling I got from it. The thing that actually worked somewhat for me is NAC. I took it for several months straight at a high dose and it actually altered my OCD behavior a little bit. I did 2600 MG of it everyday for several months. I stopped after a while because it really got my libido going. Yeah, won't go into that part. Anyway, I felt like I should share my story. As someone who's had the unfortunate pleasure of experiencing both PTSD and trauma related OCD, people truly do underestimate the terrible suffering that OCD can inflict on its victims. I don't believe an SSRI or any cognitive supplement will "fix" your OCD but I believe one can be liberated from it if they do resist the compulsions long enough to where their brain sort of very slowly recalibrates itself to be less OCD about things in the future. But it will take a lot of mental strength, will power and most of all, time. Distracting yourself and focusing on what makes you happy is very beneficial too and is honestly what helped me the most out of anything. Everyone's OCD is unique to themselves. What works for me might not work for you. What you are experiencing may not necessarily be the same as what I'm experiencing. For example, some people have terrible harm OCD where they are afraid of acting out on their thoughts. I cannot relate to that. But if any of you can relate to some degree with what I have, feel free to share. I'll give you some tips that I learned from my experience with all of this that helped me. But just remember, what works for me might not necessarily work for you. - Try to adopt an 'I don't care mentality' for your ocd rituals: Try to treat it as something that you refuse to have define you as a person and as if it's just nonsense that means nothing in the end. - Stop it in the initial stages: If you feel a compulsion coming on, I've found that ignoring it right then and there works the best. Even if you act on the compulsion once when it just starts, you have enough time to stop it right then and there still by ignoring it. My brain thinks that the compulsion was therefore not a compulsion and moves on to find sonething else to focus in on. Just rinse and repeat at that point then. - Distract yourself immediately: This is probably one of the best things I ever did to get control of my OCD. If your brain starts up right then and there about something OCD related, just immediately focus on something you like to do. - My 'leave it behind' method: Move away from the area where the compulsions are occurring and go to a different room. It helped me sort of refresh my mind and brain by going to a different area and I found that a lot of my compulsions no longer 'follow me' to that different room. I can then later return to the same room where it started and be fine again. - Go work out: Another great thing to boost your mental health and possibly rid your mind of OCD is working out whether that be hiking, the gym, jogging or simply taking a walk. It's really great for overall mental well being. It helped me a lot. I never was one to give up. I've been through hell for a while now. My conscience use to be stuck in this blackest of blackness, sort of like nothingness. But eventually it started becoming more clear and I was able to start seeing through and beyond this blackness. It's like pulling a large black curtain away which was obstructing your field of vision completely and seeing something on the other side. That's where I'm at right now. I see something but it's faint. I'm just glad that it's something though. I'm thankful for that. Peace.

Wolfram

Date posted: 5w

Everything my journey taught me

OCD master post Do's and don'ts of ocd: Don't : Try to ignore (avoidance) Try to make sense of it (Ruminate) Act on it (compulsion) Argue with it (basically Ruminating) Distract yourself in spite of it (avoidance) All of the above will make ocd worse and does not work. Do: Acknowledge it Accept uncertainty Redirect your attention once acknowledged to something else Have healthy distractions available (try to use different ones every now and then to avoid creating a compulsion) Exaggerate the thought until its ridiculous, borderline unrealistic and funny. Respond with "maybe, maybe not", " sure", "cool", "thanks, you do you, I'm gonna do my thing, feel free to stay though" The above responses can train your mind to not deem them as threats and over time will trigger the fight or flight response less and less. You'll most likely make mistakes here and there but as long as you stay vigilant and don't get complacent, this should help. Ironic process theory and our internal alarm system: https://youtu.be/xoSlOnUuw-U?feature=shared Ironic process theory is to do with attachment and the idea of non-existence. The more we try to not think about something that already exists as a thought the more it'll prove it exists and demands your attention. With attachment, people tend to ignore or argue against in spite of the thought. If you do this you are doing it because of the thought, therefore giving it more life. Thirdly your brain will start to set an internal alarm via thoughts and hormones or even bodily reactions every time you are stressed, just to see if you're not stressed about that trigger even if it's not what triggered you in the moment. To combat this, you'll need to find a way to deal with the thoughts directly and let them be and get through it via Erp, or being able to accept the thought as a thought and redirecting your attention without attachment (despite or regardless of the thoughts) Erp done effectively: When you do Erp in therapy sessions, it's done in a controlled way and on your own terms. A lot of people make the mistake of only doing it in therapy with only ocd related themes. Truth is, you can do it with any level of discomfort and it's good to practice whenever you can as long as you're mindful of other people. When you're doing it out of therapy and on your own terms, you challenge a potential trigger and then welcome the feeling that follows. I find welcoming or accepting the feelings existence helps a lot. I would welcome the fear and all the horrible feelings until I'm crying and trembling and on the edge of a panic attack, the feeling always fades and trains your brain not to deem it as a threat anymore. No more ocd firedrills. Why practice is valuable. Imagine you have a boxing match with an opponent coming up, and that opponent is tough. They train every day, and you don't train at all. Who do you think will win when the day of the fight comes around? The opponent of course. So train yourself so you stand a fighting chance or risk getting your butt kicked every time OCD enters the ring. Hormones and circadian ryhtm: So the circadian rhythm is your internal body clock. Your hormones learn patterns and release at certain times of day. Usually based on the amount of sunlight exposure you get. Cortisol the stress hormone is the one to wake us up and if you do not find a way to deal with those hormones first thing, your ocd alarm will go off and bring up scenarios or thoughts to fill in the gap as to why your body is stressed. ERP, Exercise, breathing meditations, cold plunges are great for the morning to eliminate excess cortisol. Sunlight helps too, roughly 30 minute exposures is enough to help keep your circadian rhythm healthy. Melatonin kicks in when it starts to get dark or you've went through your hormone reserves for the day. The more you go through in a healthy way, the better you'll sleep. Rough neuro science explanation : https://youtu.be/BJshegpcFv8?feature=shared So your brain will use one of 2 pathways to process external stimuli. The direct pathway, being the shortest route to process in case of a threat or perceived threat. This pathway is dominant in those who have ocd. The there's the indirect pathway which takes longer but is related to rationalising thoughts. This pathway is used less by people with ocd. This pathway requires sufficient seratonin levels in order to be used and that's why SSRIs are popular medications for people with ocd. Food and drink consumption: So I tested myself based on lots of personal research around what we put in our body and how it effects ocd. Sugar, fructose and glucose levels spike quite quickly depending on your source. It can lead your body being stressed and releasing the corresponding hormones to notify you are stressed, then your brain will try fill in the gap whether you're aware of this or not. Whole fruits tend to be the best source as they contain fibre, acting as a slow release of energy rather than flooding your system. Caffeine has the same effect without question, and also screws up your circadian rhythm if not taken at sensible times. Trans fats, saturated fats and processed foods are also bad. These may not effect your brain as quickly as sugar or caffeine but stress your body over a slower and longer period. All of the above are not just inflammatories for your muscles and organs, they are neuro inflammatories, making it much harder for your brain to use the indirect pathway for rationalising your thoughts, therefore supporting the direct neuropathway and your usual OCD patterns. The foods I started to eat are heavy in anti inflammatories to help my brain function better, anti oxidants to help lower the stress in my body, and food that support seratonin production to promote the use of the indirect neural pathway. The list below is vegan friendly, but you can look into this to suit your preferred needs ●Tryptophan - leafy greens, sunflower seeds, water cress, soy beans, pumpkin seeds, mushrooms, brocoli, peas ●vit b6 - nutritional yeast, muesli, avacado, pistachio nuts, butternut squash, banana, quinoa, brown spaghetti, chestnuts, hazelnuts, oranges, tahini, potatoes, chickpeas, kidney beans, peanuts ●higher b12 complex - yeast extract, Soya milk, almond milk, tofu, tempeh, seaweed, beetroot ●Vit D - portobello mushrooms, shitake mushrooms, orange juice, soya yoghurt ●zinc - beans, cashew nuts, Lentils, chia seeds, linseed, hemp seeds, wholemeal bread, blackberries, pomegranate juice, spinach, strawberries, pecan nuts, Brazil nuts, oatmeal ●Complex carbs - quinoa, brown rice, peas, corn, sweet potatoes, barley, lentils, nuts, legumes ●Thiamine / Vit b1 - beans, peas, legumes, nuts, brown rice ●Monounsaturated fats - extra virgin olive oil, other oils, nuts and avacados ●Vit c - guava, peppers, kiwi, mango, papaya, strawberries, brocoli ●Polyphenols - berries, dark chocolate, cocoa powder, nuts, flax seeds, olives, green tea, artichoke, red grapes, spinach ●Antioxidant - Brocoli, spinach, carrots, potatoes, artichoke, cabbage, beetroot, kale, spices ●Anti inflammatories - olive oil, avacado, walnuts, tomatoes, dark chocolate, leafy greens, brocoli, ginger, turmeric, berries, grapes, chia seeds, pepper, garlic, spirulina ●Raisins, red wine, grapes Mindfulness and being in the moment: So our brains do not know the difference between a real threat and a perceived threat and will react the same regardless of how we can rationalise it. A lot of us are stuck in the past or the future and mindfulness promotes being present. The past and future are both illusions of the mind. They are not happening now but our ocd brains react as if they are real. Anything that is not happening now isn't real. So practicing anything that will pull you closer to the present moment will help to ground you in reality. Everything that doesnt exist in the present is infinite and we cannot be certain of any of it, all we can be certain of is the here and now. Core values, self judgement and breaking the cycle : A lot of us are stuck in cycles, going around and around. These cycles are due to a lot of our core values and the thoughts/ past actions not lining up with the. These can be caused by trauma and/ or conditioning. Usually we can't let go because something clashed with the way in which we judge things, but the problem doesn't actually lie in our focus, but the values in which we judge them. The problem isn't what we weigh, but the scale itself. This is where it can get tricky, especially if what we think feels justified. It's not that your judging the scenario, actions or thoughts incorrectly, it's that your values are a bit on the extreme side. For example, I had harm ocd for 2 years and it was telling me to hurt everyone and everything in every way possible. This theme came about because I had a random intrusive thought once that clashed with my extreme values on morals having been raised by a reformed ex gangster and animal rights activist. The fault was caused by the conditioning I received. So when you go into therapy, please try to understand your conditioning and challenge them through Erp and some self compassion because it's not your fault. Where the fault lies does not matter, because that doesn't change what you need to do. You have to heal yourself regardless of it all.

Iceberg Climber

Date posted: 4w

Sunday Encouragement

Hello everyone. Good morning to you all. This week has been tough for me. I've had a hard time keeping my head up. Every day, I wake up at 5 or so with intense feelings of dread. Shaking, racing thoughts, gagging, struggling to focus and get through work, intense feeling of panic, face flushing, wired but tired. I've been really going through it. And this is extra painful because: 1. I am doing better than I've done in a while. I've made plans and kept to them. 2. I've gotten great news this week about a potential job opportunity. It's a long-term plan, but I'm looking forward to the future like I haven't in months. (My OCD has mainly centered around work uncertainty) 3. My attitude is great. I'm not despairing. I know the morning anxiety is caused morning cortisol. I know my body may just be sensitized. I'm not actually panicking. I'm approaching the doom and gloom thoughts as I believe I should most of the time. So, what's going on? Here's my encouragement to you. This kind of anxiety is a lie. It has no bearing on reality. What I mean is when I wake up shaking, there is no actual danger. My fight or flight response is activating when there is nothing to fight and nothing to fly from. Why? Because my body is sensitized. I spent months waking up every day in a panic, giving in to intrusive thoughts, struggling with compulsions. I don't blame myself for this. It all happened very suddenly and I had no idea what was going on. Once I did, I started fighting it. But damage has been done. And damage takes time to heal. Every time I panicked, I reenforced that fight or flight response. I told my body it was right to panic. And so, now, it is sensitized. It responds with an unusual and inappropriate amount of panic to everything, especially mornings. What I try to remember, and encourage you to remember as well, is this: It takes time to heal. It is very easy for me to start to panic or despair. After all, I feel like I'm doing everything right. Obviously, there are things I can improve on, but I'm getting better. I'm starting to eat better. I'm exercising more. I'm floating through the anxiety. I'm cutting out compulsions. My job prospects are looking up. My relationship with my spouse and family is great. So why? Why? Why? Stop. Don't panic. Remember. You can do absolutely everything right. Anxiety can still come. That's what I mean when is said anxiety is a lie. It is. It's lying to you. You're just sensitized. Remember that it takes time to heal. It doesn't happen overnight. Don't let anxiety control your actions. Don't let it cause you stress and keep you in that cycle. Don't freak out when your heart races or you feel a surge of energy and you want to do anything to escape. Sit in that anxiety and let it pass by as it wishes. If you keep this up, it will get better. You'll become less sensitized. You'll have less anxiety. And when you do have it, it will bother you less, and less, and less. It just takes time. The biggest breakthroughs are often proceeded by the greatest struggles. Don't stop doing the right thing just because it doesn't "feel" good. Feelings are liers. Do what you're supposed to do despite the feelings. Keep up the good work. You're closer to success than you think. Go do something fun today. I'm going to go to the mall and I'm going to live in the present moment, whether anxiety is there or not. Thank you for reading. I am praying for you all.

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