Why I have been struggling with OCD

@djflorio It sucks that our lives are plagued with this for my 18th birthday all I want is one day without these thoughts but I know my brain won’t give me 2 seconds to think😩

Ok I see. Yes, you will have thoughts that obsess over going to this place another 2 times. And I'm sure that's very hard to ignore. The reason that these thoughts are "whining" to you so much is because of your resistance to them. You can imagine that the thoughts are coming from a small child who is crying for your attention. If you ignore them or get frustrated at them, telling them to "go away," it's only going to make them cry more. In fact, intrusive thoughts are often associated with our "inner child" in the psychology world. You can try taking a few minutes to allow these "whining" thoughts to be there, with no distractions. Try to keep your focus and your attention on your body and how it feels. As the whining thoughts arise, instead of judging them as "annoying" or "unwanted," simply acknowledge them and respond with, "yes, I hear you." Even if they pop up 1000 times, keep acknowledging that they are there, and return your attention to how your body feels. You will probably feel very uncomfortable. You'll probably feel the urge to go to this place. That's fine and that's expected. What does it feel like? How does it physically feel to want to go to this place 2 more times? That's all you have to focus on. Get familiar with how your body responds to these thoughts. After a few minutes of this, you can try some self-soothing techniques, like slow breathing or putting your hand on your chest. You can then imagine that you are hugging this "inner child" that is crying for your attention, and saying, "I hear you, and it's okay." This is about changing your relationship to your thoughts. Right now you hate them and want them to go away, but as long as you try to do that, it's only going to get worse. You want to learn to accept that these thoughts are there for whatever reason. It's nothing but your inner child trying to protect you, even if what it's crying about makes no logical sense. If you practice this enough, over time it will get better. Hope this helps.

@djflorio Ah that seems so hard normally I would just never go to the place it does not to do what it wants so I can make the ocd die off BUT This time I have to go to the place and it’s not something I can walk away from so I can’t wipe the thoughts out However your view impressed me as I never thought of it before My future seems bleak as I have a few tests coming up and my ocd Inst going to go anytime soon well I had a good run

@scutodragon - I understand how difficult this is, and I know how stressful school can be as well. Dealing with this during college isn't fun. Yes, these thoughts will likely be there while you're trying to study for these tests. Try to understand that it's okay for them to be there. These thoughts going through your head are not actually a problem, however annoying they might be. It feels like they're a problem because you're trying so hard to resist them. But if you slowly change your relationship to them, your resistance will die down. As that happens, the thoughts will naturally occur less often. I know it feels like you won't be able to get any studying done with these thoughts there, but maybe try challenging yourself. You might be surprised to see that you can have these thoughts AND focus on your studying, as long as you aren't trying to get rid of the thoughts. Hopefully some of the tips I gave can help.

@djflorio I’m thinking to try another strategy to just do the compulsion this time around Becuase my ocd is whining And then from next time I don’t do what my ocd wants Or I keep these compulsions and do a insane erp session (which will take longer) and also never do new compulsions

@scutodragon - Do whatever you're comfortable with, but keep in mind that OCD will always be whining. This is how the cycle continues. It wants you to do it "just this one time." You're going to want to do it again next time too. At some point you're going to have to not do it despite an intense urge to do it. That's the only way you'll actually be able to learn. Putting it off until you don't feel the need to do the compulsion anymore isn't ERP, because you aren't preventing any response. Remember, you WANT to feel the anxiety, and you want to teach yourself not to give into the compulsion while you feel that anxiety. I know this is really really hard, which is why I hope you can find a therapist to guide you through this.

@scutodragon - Consider the crying child analogy again. Giving into your compulsions is like giving into the child's demands. Imagine a child screaming that they want to buy a toy that they see in the window of a store. If the parent gives in and buys them the toy, all they're doing is reinforcing the behavior, and the child will scream again the next time they see a toy they want. The parents needs to acknowledge that they child wants the toy, while at the same time staying strong and not giving into the child's demands. Eventually the child will learn that screaming doesn't work.

@djflorio Yeah to be honest this is right I thought about it but Ive pushed the complutions away and chose to cleanse myself in fear so much so that the ocd slowly dies off it’s honestly worth the wait if I do it now The next thing it whine about willl also be useless for the ocd becuase it will be like “you went fine without listening to Me”

@djflorio The ocd gotta learn that as some point i won’t hold its hand It’s like a old habit that needs to die