- Date posted
- 46w
OCD/perfecionism makes life twice is hard
Does anyone else with ocd/perfectionism feel like everything is twice as hard for them in life? I have always tried to my best at school and in all my jobs. But I found that often times I would study twice as much as others, try twice as hard and others would still do much better than me! It’s like perfectionism and ocd make everything harder. I always noticed how there were some people that seemed to be barely trying but doing doing much better than I was! If there was a way to overcome perfectionism and OCD life would be so much better and more fulfilling. Have any of y’all done ERP therapy and found that you’re able to get more done? Do any of y’all know what I mean about everything being twice as hard but still getting les done than many people who aren’t even trying. There’s only one area that I have mostly conquered perfectionism in and seen how less effort has actually lead me to better results without even trying. This area is the area of food. I used to have a cycle of dieting and then gaining weight (10-15lbs.) Then dieting, restricting, then over eating. I decided to try something different. I had read about homeostasis, the body’s natural tendency to stay at a certain weight. I had also read about reverse dieting where you gradually up your calories over time. I had also spent some time looking into intuitive eating where you simply eat what feels right to you. I did a combination of these things. I literally did the opposite of what you would think you are supposed to do to maintain your weight. Instead of focusing on “keeping” a certain weight, or maintaining a certain weight. I gave myself room for error and said it was ok to gain 3-8lbs because I could always just lose them again. And, I made no foods off limits. If I overate one meal I didn’t sweat it, I thought “no big deal, one time of overeating isn’t going to make me gain weight.” Surprisingly, being easy on myself, leaving room for imperfections, and letting myself eat what I WANT to eat instead of what I’m “supposed” to eat has made it so much easier for me to maintain weight! I cannot even describe how well this has worked for me. Everything, all the mindsets seem the opposite of what you would think they would be! I have many aimed the same weight for over a year almost without trying and while enjoying all the foods I love! There have been 2 times where I gained 3-5 pounds but it was honestly so easy to get the weight off. I again used another paradoxically way of thinking. Instead of punishing myself, and pushing myself to lose the weight I did something else. I thought “what would make me feel better, losing this excess weight or eating the extra food?”. I realized I’d feel better to lose the extra weight. And I also barely restricted. I ate all the foods I wanted just slightly less. And instead of focusing on “eat less” I focused on all the foods I did “get” to eat instead of all the food I wasn’t going to eat. I know food is different than other areas of life but I just can’t describe how well this method has worked for me. Granted, it has taken many years of trial and error for me to reach this comfort level with food! But it just shows me if imperfections can be this helpful at maintaining a healthy body weight without even trying how much more can embracing imperfection make us more efficient in other aspects of life! I just need to find mindsets that work for me just like I did with food. Anyone have any mindsets that helped them navigate life with perfectionism? Do y’all have any stories about how giving yourself permission to be imperfection actually made you better?