Lying

Thank you for your comment. Today I had an incident where during a conversation with a parent of my sons friend. Child: your son has taken his shoes off' Me: I know he's weirdo isn't he? Child mom: 'I was just talking to XXX about my little one being silly and said he was naughty' While he didn't say that, we were both cheekily implying my son was naughty in a jokey way. Now I feel horrible putting words in his mouth. I'm noticing it more now and have a panic it means I'm a bad person and can't tell when it's a normal human thing or if I do it all the time.

@HELO90 - You're very welcome, and it seems like you’re really overanalyzing this interaction, which is something OCD tends to do—turning a harmless, everyday conversation into a source of guilt or self-doubt. From what you’ve shared, it seems like the conversation was light-hearted, and both you and the other parent were making playful, harmless comments about your kids. These kinds of interactions are normal, and they don’t reflect anything negative about you as a person. OCD can make us second-guess our intentions and worry that we’re doing something wrong, even when it’s just a casual joke or comment. It sounds like your mind is creating a false narrative that you "put words in someone’s mouth," which is feeding your fear that you might be a bad person. This is a common OCD trap—making you feel responsible for things that don’t need to be analyzed or fixed. It might help to remind yourself that everyone makes playful comments from time to time, and it’s not a reflection of your character. You’re not a bad person for having this kind of conversation. If you can, try to resist the urge to keep analyzing this moment and allow yourself to sit with the uncertainty. If you haven't joined the NOCD family, you should join. All therapist here can treat OCD using ERP.

@NOCD Therapist - Justin T. Thank you for explaining. I notice once I get a hang on one theme, another comes along. I have the need to confess aswell.

@HELO90 - Confessing is a compulsions. It's good you notice that. It's not uncommon for OCD to change themes. Are you in therapy? Can I ask, and don't feel like you have to share.

@NOCD Therapist - Justin T. I'm not, I've tried to find an ocd specialist but cannot afford one at the moment.

@HELO90 - I understand! I wish you the very best! You got this! Be kind to yourself! You are your own best advocate, believe that. When the thoughts come up, recognize that you don't have to respond to them.

@Justin Trout Hey, Pls pls help me…and if you have even 5 mins give it a read maybe.., i am posting after a while as life came hard and fast to me so i have been dealing with ocd for about 5 years now with different subtypes from health to suicidal to homosexual seen quite a lot and now idk if this is rocd or not but i need a little help… so i was on and off with this one guy for a long time lets say 2 years and never was in a relationship though and had intense feelings for him but he never committed as such so it never happened and i thought of him to be my TWIN FLAME.. cause he always came back and left and came back again but nothing happened still and i changed cities for my higher education and finally met a great guy and someone who i could finally open up to and fell hard for while this other guy started to fade away always knew the soft spot would remain but rest faded because i love someone else now and my recent guy has a girl bestfriend he is close to and they never did anything but he told me before he met me and after his breakup with his ex he thought his bestie and he could have something but he shut them down completely when we got serious. Yesterday this guy i thought of as my twin flame or whatever came back after 4 months of no contact and i handled the situation well and told him i was with someone else and everything and that i was happy as well but a part of me was sad he didn’t do what he is now maybe a few months ago cause then we could be together but nevertheless i am happy where i am now since then my brain has been thinking a few things like my how i dont want to do anything but my current boyfriend what if he went with his bestie behind my back and i left him and went to this other guy to see if there’s a chance but then if i am even thinking so means i want it and i am being selfish and its not like rocd intrusive thoughts cause doesn’t feel so but actually wanting to do it otherwise why would i consider it and be thinking about it so much and maybe even lie to my boyfriend about it? He leaves me first so i dont have to but if i think like that means i want and i am combating guilt and regret and being selfish but if i am okay with him leaving cause then i think i get to be with this other guy means i do and i am lying to him and if thats what i want what am i doing and if its playing in my head thats not okay and i am with him cause selfish and i am scared he would leave but okay with him fucking up and leaving so that i get that chance but if i want it at all means i want him and this is a safety option and not what i truly want and i am lying to my boyfriend? if i am okay with him leaving and would go to kar that means it already in my head and what i want i just want him to do that so i go without regret thats toxic and selfish and if i already feel like this that means its true and i feel nothing for my boyfriend? what am i doing with him and then just there until he fucks up and i leave and if thats what i want then i already dont want him or know so and not like intrusive ocd thinking but actually thinking and possibility and if i am okay with that that means no feelings for the current guy i am selfish and toxic and just not a good person but not saying truth cause also scared and want to keep around but thats not okay and not ocd and just i know not ocd just thinking and if hoping for it even tiniest thats pathetic he loves me and i love him so why do i think so and do i even love him of one ex coming back can make me think this and question and will be okay even the tiniest bit with what i thought?!? Idk if i am even anxious i am writing this normally so its true thoughts and not ocd and i know so so its cant be also which means i am wrong and selfish and not right? Pls help me if you can if i still feel feelings for someone else and not actually have ocd but be actual feelings then it means what? I am considering therapy so pls help me… and if i am thinking of meeting this other guy and i should be cutting him off completely and if i still want to communicate thats not okay and that doesn’t mean ocd but actually what i am feeling and if i am stopping that feeling means will come and is there and sooner or later will happen and that means my feelings are not true for my boyfriend and this other guy is who i am thinking about and to combat my guilt calling it ocd whereas its not and i am confused and truly feeling this? Pls help me…

@Brave through - It sounds like you're feeling incredibly overwhelmed and conflicted right now, and I can imagine how distressing it must be to have these kinds of thoughts swirling around. This is a very complex situation, and I appreciate your time in explaining it to me thoroughly. First off, it’s important to remember that OCD thrives on uncertainty and doubt, especially when it comes to relationships. Relationship OCD (ROCD) is a very common theme, and it often makes you question your feelings, intentions, and what’s "right" or "wrong" in your relationships. The key thing to note here is that OCD often creates this intense need to figure everything out perfectly. You're stuck in a cycle of "what ifs" and are trying to get certainty about what your thoughts mean. Just because you're having thoughts about the past guy or what would happen if your boyfriend left doesn’t mean those thoughts are true or that they reflect what you really want. OCD loves to latch onto these kinds of doubts and fears, making you second-guess yourself and your feelings. It's common for OCD to take normal human emotions—like occasional thoughts about an ex or doubts about a relationship—and blow them out of proportion, making you feel like there's something wrong with you or your relationship. But having a thought doesn't mean it's true or that it defines you. People have fleeting thoughts about all kinds of things, but it doesn’t mean they reflect their true desires or intentions. Your brain is working overtime, trying to find a way out of the guilt and uncertainty. You might even feel like, because you’re not panicking, it must mean these are your true feelings. But OCD can also manifest without panic—sometimes it shows up as this constant, nagging doubt that makes you question everything, even in a calm state. Right now, your mind is tricking you into believing that if you're even thinking these things, it must mean something horrible about you or your relationship. But thoughts are just thoughts—they don’t define who you are or what you want. You mentioned thinking about therapy. Everybody here at NOCD is trained to treat OCD and the guilt and shame and thoughts that you are having. I hope this helps. If you have any other questions feel free to ask. It is the weekend, so I might not be on as much, but will reply back as soon as I see it.

@NOCD Therapist - Justin T. Hi Justin, I hope it's OK to message once more. My confession compulsion where I feel guilty and need to tell someone. I've remembered today that my ex and I discussed possibility of reconciliation back in Feb BUT it wasn't there for me emotional or physical. I hadn't shared this with my current partner who I met and have been with 4 months after this above conversation. Ex is still around as he's my child's father. I have this sick urge feeling that I've done something wrong by not sharing this information. Does he need to know?