ROCD theme ex

Ex and I split 5 years ago, have a child together so remained completely platonic and friendly and done stuff as a 3. Zero feelings or attraction. Now I have a new partner and he has a new partner my anxiety has latched onto 'what if you still love him' and will give me thoughts of us being intimate which honestly are not appealing. Not even kissing. It feels awful like I'm mentally cheating even though I don't want him. He wanted me for years after and I turned him down so why is OCD triggered now. I'm distressed.

[Deleted]

Date posted: 51w

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HELO90

Date posted: 51w

Thank you very much for your detailed reply. It's very true. Even when I first started dating my ex asked 'why not me' and I just didn't want him. Over the years he's become like a brother but I'm finding I'm avoiding him and being his friend because I worry what if I get feelings being around him. Is this a compulsion?

HELO90

Date posted: 51w

@Puffin123456 I had similar feelings when I was in a Gay OCD cycle, I'd feel awkward around women incase I found them attractive and would avoid places even friends and I'd make myself look at their cleavage to see if I liked it which now feels horrible and creepy. Can I ask, does ROCD attack your feelings for current partner. I've just messaged him something really sweet and my brainis telling

HELO90

Date posted: 51w

@Puffin123456 *me I'm faking it and it isn't true and I'm just covering up the feelings I have for my ex, that I don't have.

HELO90

Date posted: 51w

@Puffin123456 Really appreciate it thank you 😊 this man of mine is gorgeous and so kind and patient and little things he does make me so happy. I've never truly felt appreciated like this before. I'm now telling myself I'm too intense with my sweet message and that I'm going to scare him off. I'm getting better at telling myself thoughts are not facts and I'm not a bad person. I feel that the ex thing is cheating but I do not want to tell my partner about this as it would destroy him, as much as he tries to understand my anxiety he wouldn't want to know this current worry. So naturally I also feel bad about this and not telling him. I hope for long term with this partner and hope OCD eases soon so I can enjoy it without the crushing weight of worries and guilt. I'm at peace with him, everything else goes away and I'm so sure. When I'm not with him they start popping up.

L11

Date posted: 49w

@Puffin123456 Hey, that answer was phenomenal. I’ve been having the same feeling, about an ex and I can’t tell if it’s real or not, I had a really bad OCD spiral a few weeks ago and the thoughts of this guy have never left my head since , they just feel quieter which makes me believe this is what I want. I just want to go a day without any thought of him popping up in my head, but I’m analysing it and maybe it’s because I want the thought?

fangirlinee

Date posted: 31w

@L11 It happened to you that when u have this thoughts “go back with ex” you feel like sadness feeling? I idk how to explain it

hamigi9463

Date posted: 51w

Damn, I totally get where you're coming from. It's like OCD just loves to mess with our heads, especially when it knows it'll hit hard. I wish I had the magic words to make it better, but honestly, I'm still trying to figure this shit out myself. But I'm here to listen, my friend, and I can relate so much. I was only diagnosed last year, but I've been dealing with this for as long as I can remember. I had a similar thing where my OCD latched onto the idea that I might have feelings for an old friend, even though I was never into them like that. Every time we hung out, my brain would just go wild with these unwanted thoughts. It got triggered recently when I saw a photo of us from years ago, and it spiraled me into a panic. One thing that sometimes helps me is labeling the thoughts and emotions for what they are, just OCD bullshit. There's this app called Choiceful that I heard about from my OCD therapist, and it has a mindful noting exercise that's personalized to your specific obsession. It's helped me somewhat, and I'm grateful for any bit of relief. Maybe give it a shot if you're up for it. Sending you strength, my friend.

helpme1234

Date posted: 19w

relationship ocd

my relationship ocd theme is back and it hasn’t for a while. i keep having intrusive thoughts about a friend even tho i have a boyfriend of 6 years. i like do not like this person they are good looking but im not like into them. i like feel guilty for no reason and i feel like i need to tell my boyfriend even tho like we’ve been through this before and it only gets better if i tell him but if i don’t i feel like im hiding something. AHH like i don’t even wanna see that person anymore

Whatabtme

Date posted: 12w

Rocd triggered, ran into guy I have history with

Ocd sucks. I’m at a stay away multiple days long event for school rn and ran into someone I used to talk with. We had a will they won’t they kind of thing for years and knew each other all growing up. I knew when we were really young that he had a crush on me for a while. And then when we got older there were times I had a crush on him but I don’t think he liked me anymore at that point. I never fully knew where he stood because he often was in a relationship or living somewhere else. Because we never dated or kissed or anything, only hung out on ambiguous date-like occasions, there has always been that what if sitting there for me and I hadn’t seen or spoken to him since before I met my current partner years ago. Well they happen to be at this place I’m staying at, where we are in the same places everyday, and I ran into them, said hi and caught up for a bit. It has totally triggered my ROCD in a way I’ve never experienced. I feel guilt and shame and keep having intrusive thoughts that are so extreme and catastrophic like what if I leave my partner of 8 years for him, what if I find him more attractive than my partner, what if I cross a line while I’m interacting with him this week, what if I’m a terrible girlfriend to my partner and a fraud??

Relationship OCD

M_8

Date posted: 12w

ROCD- help please!

My ex boyfriend broke up with me last summer and it was really rough on me even thought we only dated for a little while. He treated me terribly but I guess I wanted it to work. However during the fall I was healing well and met my current boyfriend. I knew him as a kid and we reconnected and started dating. It’s the most WONDERFUL relationship ever and I love him so much. However for the past couple months, on and off, I have been obsessively thinking about my ex, to the point of feeling so sick to my stomach. Just the thought will do it. I have been stopping myself from checking his instagram because that just makes it worse. I do not want me ex back at all and I am so happy now. I recognize these thoughts as intrusive and hurtful. I just want them to stop and be in the moment. Has anyone had a similar experience? What did u do? Also, I want to tell my boyfriend about this but I am unsure on how to do so.

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