Hey so I’m losing my mind

I have always had crushes on guys but I’ve always been too afraid to act on any of them. Which leads me to today, single. I have never been in a relationship and it’s hard for me to envision myself in one. Plus my socd is really bad. I have gotten to the point where I don’t know what I want. I have always wanted a husband but I’m second guessing that all the time. I try and think of scenarios for both outcomes and nothing gives me any clarity. I’m afraid that when I get a boyfriend I’m going to realize I don’t like guys. I’m afraid that if I get drunk at a party I’ll kiss a girl. I’m afraid to just live my life at this point. I’m afraid there is no one out there for me. Im battling myself everyday and now the lines between ocd and reality are not there anymore. Idk what to do. I’m trying to take it one day at a time and tell myself to let it be. But the intense anxiety hasn’t left me for 3 days. I just wanted to write it out and get it off my chest. Thanks for listening.

hanysm@gmail...

Date posted: 1y

Your brain is doing exactly what it was designed to do: solve problems. You've presented it with a challenge, the belief that getting married is the only path to happiness, and it's working to find a solution. But here's the empowering truth: being in a relationship with a man is not the only meaningful love a woman can experience. True love starts from within. Embrace the love you have for yourself, and let it radiate outwards to your family and friends. When you focus on nurturing these relationships, you'll naturally attract the right people into your life. And who knows? Perhaps a prince will recognize the incredible person you are—someone who loves herself and others deeply—and your fairy tale ending will come true. But remember, even if it doesn't happen right away, you're already surrounded by love. The love of those around you fills your heart, ensuring that you've never truly lost anything. Keep believing in yourself and the power of love in all its forms. You've got this!

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@hanysm@gmail.com Thank you so much for taking the time to write this, I really appreciate it. It was beautifully written. I think you’re right this I really need to love myself and focus on the love I already have around me thank you again

Zoë_84

Date posted: 1y

I suffer from SOCD, too. I had periods of time, where it didn't bother me and those times always started with - Okay, and if I am bisexual, or a lesbian, so what?!? - And the SOCD thoughts became less and less, as I took away their power by not caring about them anymore. But I totally get, that starting a relationship with a man causes you fears regarding it being the right thing for you. But the only thing you can do is giving it a try, if you are attracted to someone (man or woman) and you have romantic feelings for them.

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@Zoë_84 When I say that I feel okay but then I start to spiral. I don’t know how to just take it. For example to day in class there was this girl I was helping and my brain went to she thinks your gay, why are you helping her, do you like her etc etc. I’m sure you know what it’s like but it sent me into a spiral. Ugh this is all complicated

Zoë_84

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous I can totally relate. Do you have access to ERP?

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@Zoë_84 I used to but I stoped it because It got to expensive

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