compulsive or helpful to reach out to therapist?

been extremely distressed with a specific ocd situation/real event/thought recently. it's paired with this anxious itching feeling to confess/ask for someone's thoughts, specifically my therapist. it feels like this horrible feeling of anxiety and guilt will never go away if i don't. this has been going on for weeks and i just feel miserable. the thing is, i already went through and "completed" therapy about a year ago and honestly, i don't have any plans to return to therapy and have sessions regularly at the moment. i just feel like reaching out because of this recent low point that has really gotten to me in a long time. it would maybe be just one to two sessions im looking for. but who knows. i feel like it would be weird to reach out for just this one specific ocd event because it does feel like i'm trying to find an escape from the miserable feelings and anxiety, through a compulsion of wanting to confess/reassurance etc. like i feel like i have to ask and chat with my therapist if i want to be a good person/get better/etc etc but also i just feel rly horrible and alone keeping this to myself since i just feel this strong urge to get everything off my chest. i can't stand knowing like i'm hiding something and it just being trapped in my own head like it makes me feel awful, emotionally morally mentally. since i don't rly disclose my ocd to my family, i feel like talking to my therapist about this issue would bring me some sort of peace. at the same time however thinking about confessing ocd real event and thoughts etc scares me a lot due to judgment and i know can easily spiral into new fears for me. reaching out again is so intimidating on its own. i can feel that i'm really wanting some relief which can be compulsive right. but also isn't that kind of what therapy is for? since i feel so awful don't i need therapy to feel better? i don't know what to do, this is just so suffocating. i've been battling with this dilemma whether i give my old therapist a call or not over this. apologies this was long but i appreciate any opinions or advice.

JesusSaves424

Date posted: 44w

Hey, I’m in the same boat as you and want you to know you aren’t alone. I finished NOCD therapy over a year ago (Sept. 2023) and in about 11 days I’m starting ERP therapy back up again. Honestly, recovery with OCD isn’t linear and it’s entirely normal to have setbacks with OCD recovery. I feel like I went from 80% healed, to 15% healed in a matter of months this year. 😅 I would say the best thing you can do is reach out to a professional if you have the means to do so. They are trained for this, and they can help you! It’s better to reach out to a professional than to spiral deeper into compulsions. I hope this is helpful and I really hope you know you aren’t alone. I feel like your post was written by me haha. Sending hugs and prayers 🫂🫶

blueberrybush3

Date posted: 44w

@JesusSaves424 hi thanks so much for your reply. what if i know that i'm only really up for a session or two and i know i'm going to use it to confess.. is it better to just not or do you still think it's a good idea to reach out?

blueberrybush3

Date posted: 44w

@blueberrybush3 by the way, i'm curious if you also ended up continuing therapy again/are in therapy when you had your setback? thanks again

jennamax20

Date posted: 44w

This is really tricky as someone with real event OCD too because in some ways even therapy itself can feel compulsive because of when you're working through it, it involves confession of some sort. It does sound like doing some ERP for this specific trigger would be helpful and doing that under the guidance of a therapist is probably best if your distress about it is high. I've tried to do real event exposures before and it was way too distressing for me to do alone.

lonelytype

Date posted: 23w

Help appreciated

Its been around a year now that ive struggled heavily with intrusive thoughts. I haven’t noticed it in my other years, aside from when i was a young kid. I want to get diagnosed with OCD or try to see what my therapist will say. Ive been summing up the courage to speak about this for months now and i have an appointment on the 26th. I feel like im ready to finally talk about it will someone, yet one thing is holding me back. The doubt. I started struggling HEAVILY with OCD symptoms around march of 2024. I mean rumination, compulsions, shame, disgust, etc. It was one of the worsts points of my like and it cared on from January-Late august of 2024. I was literally in distress everyday of my life. I had constant intrusive thoughts that would go away, and unbearable anxiety. Yet around september hit they started getting EASIER to mange. (remember that, they didnt go away, i just wasnt as effected) I was quite happy i could live a little without pain and that carried from Sept-December 2024. But then January hit again, and everything just seems to flow right back to me. I cant stop thinking about how i used to feel, the pain i was in. Everyday my brain wants me to remember the anguish i was put through. I finally decided i will talk about this to my Therapist. My only doubt is that, everything is much easier for me to deal with, and my anxiety isnt as strong. I still have intrusive thoughts and suffer with performing compulsions, but i dont ruminate anymore. That should be a good thing but my brain tells me that means my feelings arent valid, and i dont have OCD cause things are better. Im sorry for this long read, i just need to get this off my chest. How do i talk to my therapist about wanting to get an evaluation, when most of my main hard aspects in OCD are in the past? (AKA the past i suppressed and shut down)Any help is appreciated. 😕

Michele32

Date posted: 18w

Compulsions

Less than a year ago, I had a very big anxiety flare up to the point that I felt as though I needed to report to the police / harm myself. I ended up leaving an anonymous tip at the police hotline about something that I know I didn’t even do but everything told me I had to or else I will go to jail. And similarly after that I called the help line and explained I had unwanted intrusive thoughts and I didn’t think I deserved to live for having those thoughts. After these many months and working with my therapist, I’ve been able to feel a lot less anxious around this topic and now I’m getting lots of anxiety about what I did that time when I was so anxious. I gave in to my compulsions and confessed for stuff that I know sounds bad saying out loud but only certain people will understand I would never do. So now I’m just looking for someone to relate and perhaps let me know that I don’t have anything to worry about? I know it’s bad to seek reassurance but I’m not sure where to go. And I’m worried I’m going to keep incriminating myself.

h4aling07

Date posted: 12w

i need help :( guilt and confessing compulsion

okay so, i had this friend i met in the 8th grade when i was 13 when we became friends and my nickname for her was “red” and i had a crush on this friend before we became friends and once we became friends the crush faded away and i just grew a close platonic friendship with her and no longer has any crush or attraction or romantic interest in her. then i got a girlfriend named lisa in the 8th grade also and we were all friends and hung out but that summer going into highschool lisa broke up with me, we dated only for 2 months so you know it wasnt a big deal. and my friend “red” she and my other friend lana we are a trio and they helped me move on from that. then i started 9th grade (my freshman year of highschool) and i went into this year thinking i was gonna stay best friends with this trio but we ended up splitting paths but me and my friend “red” always had a more special bond in the trio we were like the duo because we trauma bonded and dealt with mental health problems. and in the end of my first semester i fell in love with this girl named riley (who became my 3 year serious relationship) and i love this girl so much i met her when i was 15 and she was 14, me and riley (who is my current partner) were very toxic during freshman sophomore and junior year. she was very insecure over my ex from the 8th grade who i didnt care about because she was my first girlfriend. and she was also very insecure over my friend “red” because she was my best friend during the time i was with my ex and she reminds her of my ex for some reason. i still wanted to be friends with “red” at the time and we would get into numerous fights about that. she would control me and who i was friends with and said i couldnt be friends with her and i felt so awful and defeated bc i had a close bond with this friend. she then gave me an ultimatum of either her or my former best friend and i chose my partner obviously but she was so in her head i think that she still broke up with me for like 3 days and that day she broke up with me i had to go home with her since she was my ride home and i was broken and she was obviously angry and i was crying while we were walking out of school and then she stormed off without me all upset and my other guy friend and his girlfriend saw me and went up to me to comfort me and asked what was wrong and i told them she broke up with me and then my partner yells my name very upset from across the street comes back and grabs my arm aggressively and drags me past everyone very aggressively and angry while telling me to stop crying because her mom is going to be upset and ask questions and i felt so bad. we got into the car and i had to try my best not to cry and my partner who was visibly upset a few seconds ago just completely smiled at her mom and asked how her day was with such a happy tone of voice and i was completely in shock. hours later since we were broken up i texted my former friend “red” (the one who my partner broke up with me over) and told her i needed emotional support that reyna had dumped me and i needed a friend. and she came over and talked to me. that was all nothing romantic. and then 2 days later my partner says we are back together and i was happy but felt guilty because i hung out with my friend who she dumped me over. Now years later im still with this partner after many splits but we are finally healthy and healing and shes been super supportive and there for me and loving during my recent journey discovering my ocd. i have been confessing over and over many past mistakes or things i thought were mistakes. i last confessed something on monday and ive been feeling better and relieved after confessing up until yesterday when i remembered a past mistake (which was what i just shared) and now i cant stop ruminating on it and feeling guilty and feel the need to confess this to my partner but i learned that confessing is my ocd compulsion and if i give into it ill be feeding my ocd and not breaking the cycle. but im also feeling conflicted on if i should genuinely let her know and confess because i feel what i did that time was wrong but i dont want to give into my ocd but also what if i basically cheated on my partner by doing that and if i tell her that i did what i did even tho i didnt cheat but i told her i never liked this person even tho i had a crush on the former friend and tried to get my partner to let me keep this friendship because its not like i like her romantically which is true i dont but i used to. so i feel like i betrayed her even especially by hanging out with her so now i dont know if i should tell her or if its my ocd and i dont have to share absolutely everything especially if its in the past. i dont want to lose my partner and im scared if i keep confessing it will ruin our relationship and drive her away but it will also make me lose myself and my own privacy and also feed my ocd and compulsions but im scared if i dont confess ill never stop thinking about it and i will feel like im lying to my partner and like i cheated and i wont be able to enjoy the good moments and the present because im stuck on my past “mistakes” and now im scared ill have the end my relationship to feel better but that will hurt me more but im scared if i stay im just going to try to avoid my partner in fear ill confess or feel the urge to confess every time we speak. i dont know what to do im completely lost this is the hardest thing ive ever dealt with and i have a lot ive dealt with in my life already. im barely 17 i havent had a year of a break

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

compulsive or helpful to reach out to therapist?

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community