hanysm@gmail.com

Date posted: 24w ago

Fear and Grief (Guilt)

Fear is like looking ahead at a dense fog, uncertain of what lies beyond, while grief is like staring at a shadowy reflection in a rearview mirror, tied to what has already passed. Both is a relationship in time, fear has to do with the future, while grief has to do with the past. The struggle often comes from our difficulty in coping with the unknown future and the belief that we are accountable for the past. Personally, I view my life as a storybook, where every event is predestined and predetermined before I even arrived in this world. Just as reading a book doesn't change its plot, my journey through life doesn't alter the events that were always meant to be. So, why fear the future if it's already written and unchangeable by my actions or choices? Similarly, why grieve the past when nothing could have altered its course? Instead, I choose to live (submit) in the present and savor each page as it unfolds. I hope this perspective brings you comfort as well.

Zoë_84

Date posted: 24w ago

The future isn't pre-written. 🤦🏼‍♀️ Honestly, this app should be divided in to two section, one for OCD sufferers and professionals and one for people who just want to give there two cents, even though the have no first hand experience with OCD.

AaronB1111

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 24w ago

@Zoë_84 You can do that by the way Zoe! If you go to filters on the top of your page, you can choose to be shown posts by past and current NOCD members 🫶🏾

hanysm@gmail...

Date posted: 24w ago

Honestly, it seems you have difficulty accepting others' perspectives. 😊 Let's discuss the idea that the future might not be pre-written. On a micro level, when you see, hear, or feel something, your senses transmit this information to your brain, which then constructs an image of reality for you. Based on this perception, you develop a reaction and decide whether to act. However, by the time you take action, the reality you initially perceived has already changed. Essentially, you're always reacting to the past—a past that's already been set. Now, you've made a bold claim that the future isn't pre-written. Could you provide any evidence to support this assertion? 😊

AaronB1111

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 24w ago

Bro this is actually such a good post! It has actually helped me realise that OCD is always living in the past and the future! It’s up to us to live in the present and enjoy each moment as it comes ❤️

hanysm@gmail...

Date posted: 24w ago

To elaborate, this is what makes OCD so frustrating—it focuses on aspects that are beyond your control and cannot be changed, such as the future and the past.

AaronB1111

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 24w ago

@hanysm@gmail.com Totally bro! Even tho I feel so scared right now, I am just sitting with the anxiety and uncertainty, and I am trusting who I am as a person more than what OCD tells me!

hanysm@gmail...

Date posted: 24w ago

@AaronB1111 You've got this, my friend! The first step is to understand the challenge and its tactics. From there, you can create a solid plan of action to overcome it or at least lessen its impact. You’re going to be just fine! 🙂 Remember, there’s always light at the end of the tunnel... and look, here it is! 😂 Keep pushing forward!

AaronB1111

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 24w ago

@hanysm@gmail.com So true bro 😂 honestly, after 10 years of having OCD, I have experienced very similar situations to what I am going through now! They always feel very scary and cause me a lot of distress! But this is the first ever time I have been able to step away from OCD, and I have NOT engaged in any compulsions! ❤️ OCD is the same thing across so many different themes! The themes and the content are actually irrelevant! It’s all centred around DOUBT! If you understand that, then it becomes a lot easier to challenge it! 💪

hanysm@gmail...

Date posted: 24w ago

@AaronB1111 Let me share a story with you. When I graduated many years ago, I couldn't land a job, and I fell into a depression, spiraling with thoughts of "why me?" and "what I am going to do?" One day, I was in a taxi, and the driver, who appeared to be a religious person based on his clothing, radiated calmness and serenity. Meanwhile, I was overwhelmed with emotions and thoughts. Suddenly, I asked him a question that probably made me seem a bit crazy: "How are you like that?" He looked at me and asked, "Like what?" I clarified, "So peaceful, collected, and calm." He smiled and said, "It's all pre-written by God. Why should I fear what a loving God has written for me to experience, even if it seems bad? And why should I feel bad if everything was meant to happen anyway? Just live in the moment and enjoy." You can filter the God piece out of it if you want, but I took his words to heart, and they truly helped me through.

AaronB1111

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 24w ago

Nah I totally believe in that! I am a Hindu, and I fully believe that our life paths were mapped out before we arrived on earth. It’s so true to be honest, and that has actually been so helpful! It’s such a nice reminder bro 😎❤️ Are you from the UK?

hanysm@gmail...

Date posted: 24w ago

No, I am in the US. I am Muslim. Nice talking to you my friend.

AaronB1111

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 24w ago

@hanysm@gmail.com You too my bro 😎❤️

Anonymous

Date posted: 17w ago

I'm fearing myself and I hate it

I haven't been officially diagnosed with OCD but when I learned more about it, I never related to anything more. A little back story: when I was younger, there were a couple of youth suicides in my area and the schools felt the need to have someone come in and talk about suicide. Well the person they had come in did a horrible job teaching it and basically made it seem like the smallest negative emotion or feeling or change in behavior made you suicidal. This ended up scaring me so much that I got horrid anxiety. Fast forward to now, Everytime I feel anxiety and panic, I fear I'm going to kill myself. Everytime I feel down and depressed, I fear I'll end it all. I'm scared to be around anything sharp because the "What if" I hurt myself comes into my mind. There are always intrusive thoughts at almost every point of the day. And it's not only for me. Everytime I hear someone being negative, I fear they will be suicidal. I know in my heart that none of this is true but it's terrifying me that it's stuck around so much that it makes me scared that maybe it is true. I've had a lot of death in my family in the past year and a half and a lot of other family drama that I'd never had before that is now also bringing up existential intrusive thoughts. And I'd never questioned anything about life before but now I get the "why is life like this?" and "does anything we do matter?" and I hate it. I don't want to think like that. I just want to go through life being able to handle things normally again. It terrifies me even right now going "what if you give up?"

catnipppp

Date posted: 12w ago

existential crisis

Really bad theme right now is death, I keep thinking about how one day or at any moment my heart will stop my brain will stop & my memories & everything I know will all fade away. It is giving me so much anxiety I’m only 18, but I realize it all happens to us it is bound, we are born to die. I know it’s a silly thing to be scared because it’s not helping the quality of my life worrying about it and even when I do die, I won’t care , if you don’t have a working brain then how can you care 🤷‍♀️. It is tainting my everyday life currently & honestly making me terribly depressed & it is giving me derealization & making me feel nihilistic, I’ll remind myself it’s okay but then with my ocd i don’t stop thinking and thinking about it and it’s seriously so hard to stay present in the moment because this thought just feels like I can’t scrub it away it’s miserable I struggle with religion, but I do pray to anything that’s out there possibly listening, because it is comforting, it just feels like this whole experience Is pointless & I am afraid of the unknown and what is to possibly happen but I’m subjected to it anyways so why should it matter

ConstantPain

Date posted: 10w ago

Dealing with a lot. Need support and company.

My last and almost life long theme/sub-theme largely subsided recently and my ocd felt like it wasn’t even an issue. Then I went on winter break from uni and being alone made my mind come up with a whole new topic to obsess over. TLDR on my fears, my advisor wouldn’t email me back for a while about signing up for classes so my mind started to worry “what if he doesn’t in time and you can’t enroll this semester and you lose this whole life you just built and all these new friends” So when that issue was resolved my mind found other scarier ways I could be uprooted from my current life and friends that I’ve grown so attached to. Then my mind remembered back when I was struggling with false memories and scrupulosity and I essentially made a post on a forum 2 and a half years ago saying I did something or was convinced I did something that I never actually did. Now I’ve been spiraling about someone finding it reporting me and I either get seen as a horrible person or arrested or something over something I never actually did but “admitted” to out of fear of going to hell. My mind won’t let it go and keeps finding new reasons for it to be “valid” “logical” or even inevitable. I feel like it’s just hanging over my head and I can never rest easy. Especially when I try to focus on my daily tasks or plan for the future I get this horrible flair up of “why plan for the future when this could come back in that future and you get uprooted from all of it” my mind won’t rest without certainty being uprooted won’t happen but certainty doesn’t exist, at least not with ocd. This sucks and I miss being care free.

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