AMA with Alegra Kastens

Will my relationship based OCD ever let me fully embrace being in a relationship? I love my partner and we just got married. I'm so so happy, but yet I'm still having these intrusive thoughts that I know aren't true. When will I fully embrace where I am? Will I always face this even after recovery? ☹️

How can I recover from false memory ocd? It’s really taking a toll on my life. Feels so real.

When addressing intrusive thoughts (especially those that are taboo), do you use “maybe, maybe not?” And what are some other response prevention techniques (especially for taboo intrusive thoughts) that work for you?

I struggle with leaning into uncertainty. Are there tips on how to lean into uncertainty and uncomfortable intrusive thoughts?

Have you ever felt yourself accusing yourself of something you don't know if you did or not and it causes you to try to think back into the memory and then get a urge to confess ?

How do you address themes such as Meta OCD?

What if you can’t tell if your thoughts are egodystonic? At the beginning I had no doubt, but the further into my journey I feel like I have moments where I think I could be into my thoughts, but I don’t want that. It’s like a choice that I’m not admitting to myself. What if my OCD had led to a new self, like I’ve believed all the lies and now I’m in denial… I know that sounds like OCD, but I can’t always say I know I don’t want that, but it feels so real… like it feels more real than that.

I get the urge to review memories that cause me shame or fear that they’ll trigger me to the point of feeling like it was betrayal to my partner. How do I leave the past in the past?

Could also address medication, and what your thoughts are on how realistic is it to recover without it, just doing ERP. Thank you 😊

OCD has had such a toll for so long - I feel the need to share everything or else I am lying, how do I stop myself and give myself that privacy? I am pretty sure I have to "lean into it" and just accept that maybe I am a bad person for keeping some things secret or lying sometimes to ensure that I am not overdoing the confessions and stuff as a compulsion, but I worry that will end up turning me into a bad person for real :/

Can two themes co-occur? I have pure-o. And I believe I have existential ocd and suicide ocd at the same time. It's probably the worst thing ever.

As a woman in her 30s, one of many pure O OCD spikes gets triggered when I'm feeling envy towards loved ones who have something I deeply desire, like a child, because it feels like I'm running out of time and it gives me this really isolating feeling when everyone is starting their families, while I'm struggling. I feel an avalanche of guilt towards feeling envious and mean/disturbing thoughts, e g., "I can't stand seeing they're happy". I spiral into researching online and fear gets stuck! Which makes me wonder if it's really OCD because it has this triggering envy feeling attached that sets it off.

Real event /false memory advice please :) Thank you so much for all you do!

Why does ocd hit you suddenly but doesn’t go away just as suddenly?

Sometimes it feels like I'll never find peace from OCD...

Hey, Alegra! Just watched your podcast with Patrick McGraph this afternoon- I love how open and honest you can be about your journey. I’ve been struggling with MANY subtypes of ocd since I was a kid and it feels hard to shake some. Would you recommend adding in special medications, etc- along with ERP- to help aid in recovery?

no question, just wanna say that i love alegra & all she does on social media to spread OCD awareness 🥹🩷

OCD from a car accident (3 years ago) Afraid I will hit someone riding there bike or walking. Intrusive thoughts. It’s hard. It sucks! I stopped driving all together ( haven’t driven in a few months) Feel like a failure/ burden. Etc. help. Changed my whole life.

If you have S3gsual obsessions, how can you recover from them?

I get the thoughts to yell or scream for no reason at all and it causes me to have a lot of anxiety and feel weird and I also get the urge to do it and I just feel like I’m holding myself back from actually screaming? It feels very real especially when I can see it playing out in my head and see my intrusive thought coming to life ( mental image of me yelling ) any advice on how to handle when the urge feels so real?

Are there any books or resources you can recommend that help with rumination, false memory and real memory OCD?

I suffered heavily with sexual orientation ocd, and worried about whether or not I was a lesbian for years. As I have worked through ERP and this theme has less of a hold on me, I have started to notice something. Many individuals with this theme seem to be using harsh language and many other mannerisms that seem quite derogatory towards the LGBTQ+ community. How can heterosexual people that suffer with SOOCD be mindful and inclusive towards the queer community while still being validated in our distress?

Why do I feel like Im purposely thinking of my intrusive thoughts. As if I NEED to think of them. Is that considered a compulsions? It's as if I want to scare myself or something

is it common for eating disorders to stem from or be worsened by ocd? how does this get addressed? thank you!

I’d like additional support regarding utilizing ERP when assisting my clients with mental compulsions. They tend to report continued rumination over the thought/obsession as they’re trying to engage in the R (refocusing on another behavior).

What is the foundation that all OCD themes are built on? To clarify—if a person can experience many OCD themes throughout theirs lives and they bounce around from topic to topic, is the best approach to do ERP with each one of those themes? I other words, how can we address every sub theme with a single approach?

Will this be available to view after the event takes place?

Is it possible to have severe debilitating OCD about body odor or breath? It's not true but It's been ruining my life and giving me severe social anxiety for years now, i have had different themes. Has anyone ever suffered with this?

Hi! How do you help people not feel shame about their thoughts (especially pocd, harm etc.) without reassuring them?

I am terrified that I will never be able to have anymore children after POCD has out of no where what feels like taken over my life. This is completely new to me and I am just starting therapy (haven’t had my first session yet) but not having a big family like I’ve always hoped for and dreamed of has been crushing me. I know you’ve had similar thoughts based on what you share on your socials. Do you have any insight?

How do you know if you’re in “recovery”?

Just had a procedure and I am obsessing over what I could have said when coming out of anesthesia. It was an unexpected surgery and I went under feeling stressed. I am reliving and creating all of these scenarios in my head that almost feel real now.

When I have intrusive thoughts, they hurt my feelings and then I just make the thoughts even worse and then punish myself for having them. Then, I feel the need to confess. I try to just sit with it but I just have to blurt them out to my partner. Do you have a strategy for this?

How does OCD relate to betrayal trauma? Can you please provide more information on mental contamination? Please and thank you!!

How do you know when you’re dealing with OCD symptoms or thoughts versus when you’re dealing with eating disorder symptoms or thoughts? Can they be treated the same way?

How to fight with the feeling that this is not OCD and you are in denial?

How do we tune in?

How do you know truly if an OCD thought comes into your head that that is truly not what you want ? 🥹

Why does ocd hit you suddenly but doesn’t go away just as suddenly?

what do you do when your pocd latches onto specific people? this is my most repetitive intrusive thought atm :(

Any tips for dealing with mental compulsions? It feels like anything I try and do mentally to deal with ocd end up becoming a ritual. Any advice would be appreciated:)

Can anyone really overcome suicidal ocd ? Or fear of depression ? Is depression as bad as they make it ??

I hear people say in other apps that you can never recover you just have to accept the thoughts and anxiety being part of your life forever. I know I've gone years with no symptoms but it's so discouraging to hear people say that. It has to be possible to recover from this or why are we all here? I mean there has to be positive outcomes to therapy

Have you some advice for someone who struggle with ROCD?

How does ERP help to not only resolve OCD but also related trauma ?

how can you tell what is an obsession and what is a thinking pattern?

What do YOU do when you get stuck on a scary thought and it starts to consume your day and lasts several days/weeks and seems very real?

I have religious OCD. I have been slowly working through ERP. One of my biggest problems is trying to convince myself that it is my OCD that is attacking me and not anything else. Do you have any advice as to how to bring myself back into the reality of OCD when my nervous system is telling me I am genuinely in danger?

Any personal or useful tips/advice on how to deal with and approach feelings of guilt shame moral scrupulosity etc?

And what is the relationship between OCD, generalized anxiety, and depression? Why are they so commonly co-occurring?

How do you untangle what is “your OCD” and what is “you?” Whether it be a bad thought you have (negative) or the ability to be organized and neat (positive). I often feel like while OCD is the worst parts of me, it’s sometimes the best parts of me, too, and I wonder what will be left once I’m in recovery.

Best way to acknowledge an OCD thought you know that’s not true?

what can I do to stop the compulsions when the urges to do the compulsions are to strong ?

I suffered with ocd when I was 16 and had scary thoughts of my mum dying. I managed to get past it and then 10 years later I’m starting a new job which I love and it’s come crashing back. Now I’m having real event ocd and scared of past mistakes making me loose my new job. It’s been debilitating and I just can’t seem to enjoy my job now. Can it just come back like that? I don’t know how to get through it this time.

I know they can co-occur but I'm really struggling to understand if my current thoughts are just depressed thoughts (eexistential and suicidal in nature) or ocd intrusive thoughts. It FEELS like the worst theme, if it even is a theme, ever. I keep asking myself "what if I don't like life?" That's just where it starts... Meanwhile, a month ago I pretty much liked life despite some anxiety. Now the meaningless or fear of never feeling joy is crippling and I feel so alone in this thinking. Like maybe i really AM the only one to think this and i won't get better. 😭😭😭😭😩

How do you live with the fact that you could be your worst fears? That you could be the monster that ocd is trying to convince you that you are? I feel like I’m just denying that I’m what my OCD is trying to convince me of and that I just need to give in and accept that I am this awful monster of a person. But if I do that I feel that I don’t deserve love and happiness and should not be able to live a long happy life if I accept the fears as true but if I don’t then I just feel that I am denying them and lying to myself about who I truly am. In your opinion how would you go about this and what would you tell your best friend if they were struggling with this to do if you know they had ocd?

How do we join the event?

How do you work through shame/guilt over things compulsions have made you do in regards to taboo themes (masturbating to thoughts as checking is an example)? I’m afraid the checking has conditioned my body to respond to the distressing thoughts which is the opposite of what I want. I am struggling so hard with this shame.

How can I overcome false memory OCD? It’s so frustrating when you know you haven’t done something yet you still have this overwhelming doubt

I struggle with mostly mental compulsions and sometimes it feels like it’s impossible to stop because they’re so automatic! How do you tackle this?

I struggle with mostly mental compulsions and sometimes it feels like it’s impossible to stop because they’re so automatic! How do you tackle this?

Any thoughts on responsibility OCD? I don’t see very many people talking about it, but I automatically think anything that goes wrong is my fault and find a way to beat myself up or feel guilt and shame for things that have nothing to do with me.

How do you live with the fact that you could be your worst fears? That you could be the monster that ocd is trying to convince you that you are and you feel that your just denying the truth that your a monster?

Have you had clients that have ocd that expressed doubts about having biological children due to the fear of passing ocd genetically to their children?? What advide did you give them? Is it also possible that constant questioning about this issue could be ocd itself??

I just found a name for what I have and it’s Groundhog’s Day Syndrome, where I’m living out the same day of intrusive thoughts and pure o thoughts over and over on the daily. So, I always feel stuck. Thoughts? How Is this syndrome different from looping. Thanks!

I’m trying to access the AMA is there a link?

Why does ocd hit you suddenly but doesn’t go away just as suddenly?

I’m trying to access the AMA is there a link?

How do you join

With guilt and confession OCD, I find it hard to establish when I have actually done something "wrong" or when I should "confess" because even if I didn't find it wrong in the moment, the worry and guilt later from overthinking about it or applying other people's morals/expectations to myself makes me want to confess. How do I tackle this?

How do I manage getting better if my brain screams at me for not having symptoms? If I get better I just doubt I ever had OCD

I thought this was a live zoom to watch?

An example of my OCD is apparently Just Right ocd, constantly scanning, noticing spots, crumbs, pieces of paper, etc.. extremely tiny to large on the ground/floor. The compulsion is to stare at it, study it, and many times to remove it, touch it, wipe it, clean it. As you can imagine, this can eat up a lot of time obsessing and being distracted by these urges. This can happen with anything, everywhere, high or low. Getting stuck on what I see. Yes I’ve been to years of therapy. Very expensive. Thank you.

How to deal with the fear that comes with OCD? This is what promotes the what if’s for me.

Please can you address the combination of false memory OCD with Scrupulosity. I deal with accusations of not fulfilling vows to God...vows that I don't remember making...vows that may have been intrusive thoughts when they first appeared to my mind?

Alegra, you are amazing! I have been really struggling with a number of different OCD things throughout my life, since I was about 13. I only learned about OCD about 2 years ago. I am now 30😭. I have never been treated for OCD but have been actively looking for a therapist for the last few months. I am wondering more about sensory related OCD. I feel like my brain is constantly trying to attack the things that I feel most comfortable/happy with. It has recently been attacking my relationship and my usual high comfort level with sex/physical touch with my partner. For the last few weeks (and in my life previously) I’ve been having a thought on repeat that im not doing a certain physical, normal, thing right with my partner. It is driving me nuts and impacting my ability to feel connected with them intimately, and also in my own body. The thought doesn’t stop, and I’m worried that it will ruin my romantic and sexual relationships in the future.

How do you tell between an intrusive thought and reality?

Sometimes I feel no anxiety with my intrusive thoughts. I might still feel emotional when they pop into my mind, but there have been many times where I felt no “negative” feeling towards it. There will be times where I feel like I need to make myself feel anxiety or dread towards the thought, otherwise I like it and/or it’s not OCD. Can you still obsess over a thought without having the anxiety? More like feeling a sense of emptiness?

How did your family/friends react when you told them about your OCD? Did you decide to tell them your intrusive thoughts? How long did it take you to do so?

Can intrusive thoughts be lesser on some days compared to others? Or certain throughts crop up only under specific circumstances? I've been debating on whether or not I could actually have OCD, or should reach out to this service to get checked, because there times/days where they don't feel as strong; or I don't think certain things until seeing something that sets it off. Any advice would be helpful!

This woman made a huge impact on my life. God used her to be brave enough to admit that I had POCD. I didn’t know it was OCD. I thought I had to leave it at the grace. God used her! I’m so grateful for God allowing her to share her personal story.

How do I recognize ocd in myself in my relationship? How do I beat it?

How do I differentiate between genuine confusion about my gender identity / sexuality and intrusive thoughts about it?

Can an unwanted feeling/sensation turn into an ocd cycle and cause it to happen when your confronted with triggers? can your mind trick your body?

I have had an eating disord e for about 45 of my 57 years of life. Recently within last year finally Diagnosed with harm ocd. Still trying to understand d the relationship between the two as well as anxiety. What an enlightening year it has been after decades

My ocd has a fear of losing objects everytime I lose something it’s the end of my world and I have to go to a certain trash can to “repent” it as my ocd would like to call it I’m going aboard soon for university and I’m worried if I lose something aboard and I’m not able to access the location and my brain will stop working destroying my future I need to preform erp for this but when I try to do erp it fails as my brain doesn’t stop nagging until it gets as it pleases

After ERP do you also raccomend a therapy for OCD sufferers? If So, which kind?

How do you forgive yourself for compulsions that have caused serious damage/fallout?

Did SSRIs ever make your libido go down?

My son (age 6) is doing much better now after months of ERP. If he never relapses again (I know that's unlikely), will he still "have OCD" ?

will people with contamination ocd can recover from ocd for life long?

What were some tips that helped you work thru the POCD?

I am straight male with a girlfriend and a child. I am diagnosed with ocd and have been dealing with soocd and rocd. i’ve been dealing woth ocd (predominately soocd for the past 10 years). recently my OCD was “gone” for like a year, but recently flared back up and feels so real and getting floded with thoughts thats im not actually straight, I need to leave my partner, etc, and it feels horrible. I know im straight but it feels real and is killing me. why does it come back and why does soocd feel real. ocd doesnt just change your orientation right, i know its ego-dystonic, why is it coming back. will i live with this forever

Advice for starting medication when struggling with ocd? Fearful of substances

I am a therapist seeking information to help clients with constant s3xual intrusive thoughts

I don’t think I have OCD but not sure. Going for testing soon. I was terminated by a therapist for transference January of this year. I spend more than an hour a day with unwanted thoughts and rumination. It is nearly mentally crippling. Could just be grief or trauma but not getting better even with therapy. It persist almost every time I am not otherwise engaged mentally and it keeps me from focusing.

How can I stop focusing so much on my groinal responses

What would your advice be for rampant ear worms and tinnitus.

I’ve had a long road with ocd - many different themes in the mix. My latest one is regarding false memories - where I’ve questioned doing an immoral act. My ocd has taken it a step further and I’ve actually wondered if I even think the act is wrong - that maybe I didn’t think so and that’s why I did it. Through therapy I’ve learned a lot about leaning into my values, but this thought has really distorted that. I feel like I can’t trust that anymore because it’s almost convinced me I don’t even think the act is “wrong” anymore. It’s feeling like more of a belief. I wonder if in your experience you’ve heard of this? If so, what do you recommend to manage these thoughts/cycle? Hope this makes sense! Can be a bit tricky to articulate. Thank you!

Can ocd make you experience psychosis/go crazy?

Why is alcohol making my OCD worse

How do you work through shame/guilt over things compulsions have made you do in regards to taboo themes (masturbating to thoughts as checking is an example)? I’m afraid the checking has conditioned my body to respond to the distressing thoughts which is the opposite of what I want. I am struggling so hard with this shame.

How can I overcome false memory OCD? It’s so frustrating when you know you haven’t done something yet you still have this overwhelming doubt

Why is alcohol making my OCD worse

Why is alcohol making my OCD worse

How do you work through shame/guilt over things compulsions have made you do in regards to taboo themes (masturbating to thoughts as checking is an example)? I’m afraid the checking has conditioned my body to respond to the distressing thoughts which is the opposite of what I want. I am struggling so hard with this shame.

Why does ocd hit you suddenly but doesn’t go away just as suddenly?

Tips and tricks for real event OCD. I’ve got it fused with somatic/harm and it’s like they throw the ball back and forth to each other.

Why does ocd hit you suddenly but doesn’t go away just as suddenly?

I told my significant other about my OCD and intrusive thoughts, specifically struggling with POCD. I am in therapy but am wanting to keep gaining reassurance from him that he still loves me and feels the same about me. I keep wanting to tell him that the thoughts do not align with me and they make me feel horrible. I’ve told him this already. He’s assured me that he understands and loves me and is there for me. How do I let it go worrying about what he thinks about it? Any advice? Thanks. :)

Are there phrases I can say to myself or thoughts I can think to help myself calm down when I feel like everyone hates me/my world is crumbling around me?

Do you HAVW to show signs of OCD as a kid to have OCD? I was a "perfect" child and now people are asking me "why are you like this? You never showed any signs until now."

is it common for eating disorders to stem from or be worsened by ocd? how does this get addressed? thank you!

When do you know to switch over from a non specialized therapist to an OCD specialist? Do you require a formal OCD diagnosis to do so?

is it common for eating disorders to stem from or be worsened by ocd? how does this get addressed? thank you!

is it common for eating disorders to stem from or be worsened by ocd? how does this get addressed? thank you!

is it common for eating disorders to stem from or be worsened by ocd? how does this get addressed? thank you!

is it common for eating disorders to stem from or be worsened by ocd? how does this get addressed? thank you!

Are there phrases I can say to myself or thoughts I can think to help myself calm down when I feel like everyone hates me/my world is crumbling around me?