- Date posted
- 50w
Hi pls share your opinion.
I was in a relationship for 11 months, we couldn't really get along but I loved him and I met his family and all so it was a big step and my longest relationship ever however he did a lot of things which made me question it, when I was experiencing ocd for the first time he tried helping me but he got fed up and irritated by it and he would play the game and show me no attention so I knew he wasn't the one for me but I loved him anyway, we broke up and I met my first love and I moved on into another relationship without healing I guess because I always healed like that but truthfully I knew it didn't heal 100% , now in this relationship I keep thinking about my last relationship which comes with guilt and not only that but my ocd latched on to that because I fear going crazy so I had a intrusive thought such as "What if I go crazy because of a boy " and the reason for that thought is because I asked what happened to someone that's "mentally ill" and he is homeless and I asked and someone told me he went "crazy" because his girlfriend left him and moved to another country with everything they both worked on so he lost his mind because of it and I was scared that would happen to me which led me to get scared I might go crazy too because of my break up and I'm so scared and I'm torn between being alone ( one of my biggest fears) and heal from everything n learn how to love myself or idk.