Does anyone struggle with Suicidal and Existential OCD? I relapsed about 2 weeks ago and I just can't get unstuck. I've been struggling for about a year now. What gets me stuck is thinking that it's not OCD, but it's actually depression. And then I get stuck worried that I'm depressed and going to snap. Looking for people to talk to about this too, so comment your contact information if you want. You're not alone.

Would definitely love to talk. My email is jmtaglienti96@gmail.com

@jtaglienti18 I will reach out

I feel the same way. My most common compulsion now is just constantly reassuring myself that I want to be alive. But it's just not working. So I've been doing my ERP every morning.

@jtaglienti18 Ye its annoying having to reassure yourself to a thought. Its whats so annoying with ocd subjects, theres always uncertainty. A guy who is unsure he loves his gf cant have any proof so has to wake up every day telling himself he does for reassurance. Ocd plays on uncertainty and the biggest question of all...whats the point? I cant seem to shake that one. Everything i do i ask myself, why am i doing this? And when you're trying to have fun. Pub, restaurant, work, anything..."why are you doing this, whats the purpose" its hard to enjoy. Hence worrying about being depressed, coz if you cant enjoy yourself then whats the point. Jeez man we have it hard haha

@DrBurnzz I feel EXACTLY how you feel. It's so tough. It's like it attacks at all angles lol

@jtaglienti18 My email is jmtaglienti96@gmail.com if you want to talk

I was on SSRIs for about a month last year, but then I found a new OCD therapist that wanted me to try ERP without them. But, I've been considering going back on them.

@jtaglienti18 S thoughts are no joke, even if it's "only" just another OCD obsession. Most SSRIs are considered to take 3 months to even know how they'll work... I'd seriously consider talking to your doctor about the possibility of trying them again. A plain old therapist is not the same as a medical doctor or even psychiatrist... Though I'd be careful about mentioning the S thoughts to a Dr because of the risk of involuntary commitment, I'd just mention that you have OCD and possibly depression, and you would like to try some antidepressants to see if they would help your depressive thoughts and feelings since you weren't on them for very long last time, and that you are already in therapy but would like some extra help. Not trying to be pushy here, but I don't see a reason to suffer more than you already are. I don't understand your T's reasoning for going off the pills to do therapy... Usually they're both used in conjunction, and the pills help expedite the therapy because the thoughts and feelings aren't as sticky... Anywho, that's enough yapping from me for now lol.

@loudmouth Thank you for this! I completely agree. With the SSRIs it's almost like the idea of "what do I have to lose." If I have some depression it treats that, but it's for treating the OCD.

I agree. However, in my mind, the difference is the heightened anxiety and black and white "I need to know right now" thinking people with OCD experience. People without OCD in an existential crisis, in my mind, are able to be like this sucks but I'll figure it out. Us on the other hand don't accept that. What does my life mean right now? Why am I doing all of this? And for us there is really no answer at all. It's just a loop you're stuck on.

I always felt like E OCD was like being permanently trapped in a state of existential crisis

@bloomviolet Yes that would explain that i've been stuck on it for around 2 years. No matter what conclusion you come to with ocd the question that comes after is 'are you sure?'

@DrBurnzz I'd be open to talking more if you would like.