Rick123
- Date posted
- 46w
Suicidal ocd
Hi I’m just here to ask what actually is suicidal ocd? What are the symptoms and what is the treatment? Thankyou.
ScuderiaAlphaScuderiaAlpha
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 46w
Suicidal OCD is characterised by intrusive UNWANTED thoughts, images or urges about ending one’s own life. To be perfectly clear, someone suffering with this has ZERO intention or desire to do so and can be INCREDIBLY anxiety inducing, but because it can be so scary for the sufferer to have these thoughts it can feel incredibly irresponsible not to do compulsions. As someone who’s dealt with this theme these were some of my intrusive thoughts and compulsions and some that you see regularly. Thoughts: “What if I’m actually suicidal? I don’t think I am but how can I be 100% sure?” “What if I’m secretly depressed and I just don’t know it and want to do this” “I don’t feel quite as happy as I did yesterday, is this a sign that I’m developing clinical depression?” “I can’t ever be sad or angry otherwise there’s a risk of following through with this.” *mental images of using objects to harm yourself even though you don’t want to. These are just a few examples, intrusive thoughts about this can take many forms Common compulsions: Spending hours ruminating about whether one’s intrusive thoughts could be true or not. Avoiding objects that could be used to harm yourself Compulsively smiling all the time to ensure you’re happy all the time to ENSURE you’re never sad. Googling the symptoms of clinical depression to ensure you don’t fit the criteria. Always being active because someone who was really unhappy with life would not want to be active all the time. Not wanting to laze around as this could be a symptom of clinical depression (Niche one but I had this): compulsively exercising because someone with bad depression would not want to exercise and saying to yourself “phew ok I still have the desire to go exercising that means I must be ok”. Reassuring yourself that you’d never do this or asking others for reassurance that you wouldn’t. Plus many more. The best treatment is ERP and maybe medication if you need a boost to be able to do ERP. In ERP you’re asked to confront these thoughts and feelings and not do anything to try and neutralise them with compulsions. You start off small and go up the ladder to gradually expose yourself to things that make you more anxious to learn that you can tolerate that. Over time, you learn that you can handle these thoughts and that they don’t actually have to mean anything about your wishes or wants and gradually OCD is triggered less and less by them. Like every OCD theme, eventually you’ll be able to just live life despite what pops into your head. :)
Rick123Rick123
- Date posted
- 46w
@ScuderiaAlpha Thankyou soooo much , I really needed that! I have been terrified and so damn sad constantly as I’m trying to work out what is actually wrong with me I have been looking at my worse areas in ocd and you have really helped me to understand it , I can’t thank you enough!
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 45w
Thanks. I have been dealing with this for a long time. I am having a rough bout of it today. I keep feeling so anxious and having such bad OCD lately that I fear I will become so unhappy and want to do this. But I know it causes so much distress that it means it is ego dystonic. Also, when I take Klonopin, my anxiety goes away, and so do the intrusive thoughts. I think general anxiety causes fight or flight which causes your thoughts to me more irrational.
ScuderiaAlphaScuderiaAlpha
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 45w
@Anonymous This was explained to me in the education part of ERP and it’s REALLY important to remember. When the intrusive thought comes in and that anxiety hits, the rational part of your brain gets completely shut off. Your amygdala disconnects from the rational part, which is why even though many people with OCD know that their obsessions are irrational and illogical that doesn’t really matter because that part of the brain becomes futile where anxiety is concerned. The only thing then that the amygdala has to rely on then is the rest of the body and itself to do something to get it out of danger: a compulsion of some kind. Because there’s no logic involved in OCD or anxiety, the amygdala assumes that the perceived threat is ACTUALLY happening and is right in front of us which is why OCD works so so well on us.
Rick123Rick123
- Date posted
- 45w
@ScuderiaAlpha Thankyou so much , I have been thinking for a long time I can control my thought but I’ve now realised the thoughts aren’t the problem but my reaction to thoughts is , this helps me understand why using logic never works with my thoughts thankyou so much
Related posts
Medicine2021_
- Date posted
- 16w
Suicidal OCD and harm OCD
I’ve recently been struggling a lot with OCD. I have had OCD for a long time I just didn’t realize it until more recently. About seven months ago I developed panic attacks one day randomly at work. I thought I was having a heart attack and went to the hospital where they told me it was just a panic attack and I assumed I would snap out and be better within a few days. However it didn’t. Here’s where it gets scary, I was staying at my then boyfriends house while dealing with blurry vision, anxiety attacks everyday, and more (unsure of what was going on). But at some point I saw my bfs (pew pew 🔫) on his table and it sent me into an anxiety attack after sudden thoughts that I was going to hurt myself with it. I begged him to put it away when I’m not looking so I didn’t know where he put it. He did. These thoughts lasted for about four days but began to go away. (I thought that was it and I would be back to normal). Unfortunately though I ended up moving back in with my family when we couldn’t get my panic attacks under control in time for me to get back to work and pay bills. However, coming home brought up a lot of trauma from when I was kid. My anxiety got worse but I didn’t have those thoughts again. About two and half months ago though, I got sick and went to the hospital where they gave me steroid pills and a steroid shot but sent me into some kind of psychiatric event. Ever since then though, I have been suffering from harm OCD, I have had moments of intense anger that I usually have to completely walk away and go on my own because of how intense they are, and it feels like it’s getting worse. Today I felt fine until about and hour and half ago where I started to dwell on the fact that my suicidal thought was influenced by my OCD and at the moment my OCD is at the worst it’s been. This caused me to get suddenly really depressed and I started crying thinking about how I can’t handle this. I then saw a post talking about how suicide rates are high for people with this form of OCD and it made me question if I am mentally strong enough to pull through this. I fear that at times I’m getting worse. I have good days but I have a lot of bad days. Unfortunately this sent me into such a bad panic attack I went over to my nanas crying about how I can’t deal with this. I took a 0.25 mg Xanax which helped calm down the panic attack portion of it but my brain is still uncomfortably active. I guess I just need hope. I’m so saddened by this. It’s like my life took a total 360 in 10 months and got even worse since the steroid shot. Idk what to do about it. I can’t stop the spiral. I talk to two different therapist weekly and start more next week, making it 5 times a week. I feel no improvements…
tayloraniston
- Date posted
- 14w
Suicidal ocd
I’m not suicidal by any means, I had a thought one time when I was going through some stuff and ever since then I wake up every morning and think about it all day I have thoughts like “did I mean that?” “Did I want that?” “Am I gonna think this all day” “would I really do that” and literally it’s to the point it’s driving me nutssss please tell me I’m not alone and please tell me how you got through this, I started antidepressants about 6 days ago it’s called Effexor for the mean time I need some advice
Sarah12
- Date posted
- 14w
suicidal/ mental health ocd
Hi guys i hope someone will help me with this one. I have fears around suicide/mental health/ depression. From the moment i wake up to a moment iam going to sleep i have these crazy thoughts in my head: what if i will be so sad that i will commit? what if my life has no meaning so i will commit? Also i have this mixed with existential/depressed thoughts like: life has no meaning, why iam doing this it has no meaning. So i cant enjoy litterally anything anymore. I have great day and my mind always trying ti convice me that iam suicidal and nothing is going to be the same. My mind has own patterns and i feel like i cant break it down and i know iam not like this. Also words like: mental health, suicide, mentall illness, sadness trigger me so much. Can someone help me? also i have googling compulsion, i spend 24/7 on this app, watching youtube content.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond