Rick123
- Date posted
- 43w
Suicidal ocd
Hi I’m just here to ask what actually is suicidal ocd? What are the symptoms and what is the treatment? Thankyou.
ScuderiaAlphaScuderiaAlpha
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 43w
Suicidal OCD is characterised by intrusive UNWANTED thoughts, images or urges about ending one’s own life. To be perfectly clear, someone suffering with this has ZERO intention or desire to do so and can be INCREDIBLY anxiety inducing, but because it can be so scary for the sufferer to have these thoughts it can feel incredibly irresponsible not to do compulsions. As someone who’s dealt with this theme these were some of my intrusive thoughts and compulsions and some that you see regularly. Thoughts: “What if I’m actually suicidal? I don’t think I am but how can I be 100% sure?” “What if I’m secretly depressed and I just don’t know it and want to do this” “I don’t feel quite as happy as I did yesterday, is this a sign that I’m developing clinical depression?” “I can’t ever be sad or angry otherwise there’s a risk of following through with this.” *mental images of using objects to harm yourself even though you don’t want to. These are just a few examples, intrusive thoughts about this can take many forms Common compulsions: Spending hours ruminating about whether one’s intrusive thoughts could be true or not. Avoiding objects that could be used to harm yourself Compulsively smiling all the time to ensure you’re happy all the time to ENSURE you’re never sad. Googling the symptoms of clinical depression to ensure you don’t fit the criteria. Always being active because someone who was really unhappy with life would not want to be active all the time. Not wanting to laze around as this could be a symptom of clinical depression (Niche one but I had this): compulsively exercising because someone with bad depression would not want to exercise and saying to yourself “phew ok I still have the desire to go exercising that means I must be ok”. Reassuring yourself that you’d never do this or asking others for reassurance that you wouldn’t. Plus many more. The best treatment is ERP and maybe medication if you need a boost to be able to do ERP. In ERP you’re asked to confront these thoughts and feelings and not do anything to try and neutralise them with compulsions. You start off small and go up the ladder to gradually expose yourself to things that make you more anxious to learn that you can tolerate that. Over time, you learn that you can handle these thoughts and that they don’t actually have to mean anything about your wishes or wants and gradually OCD is triggered less and less by them. Like every OCD theme, eventually you’ll be able to just live life despite what pops into your head. :)
Rick123Rick123
- Date posted
- 43w
@ScuderiaAlpha Thankyou soooo much , I really needed that! I have been terrified and so damn sad constantly as I’m trying to work out what is actually wrong with me I have been looking at my worse areas in ocd and you have really helped me to understand it , I can’t thank you enough!
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 42w
Thanks. I have been dealing with this for a long time. I am having a rough bout of it today. I keep feeling so anxious and having such bad OCD lately that I fear I will become so unhappy and want to do this. But I know it causes so much distress that it means it is ego dystonic. Also, when I take Klonopin, my anxiety goes away, and so do the intrusive thoughts. I think general anxiety causes fight or flight which causes your thoughts to me more irrational.
ScuderiaAlphaScuderiaAlpha
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 42w
@Anonymous This was explained to me in the education part of ERP and it’s REALLY important to remember. When the intrusive thought comes in and that anxiety hits, the rational part of your brain gets completely shut off. Your amygdala disconnects from the rational part, which is why even though many people with OCD know that their obsessions are irrational and illogical that doesn’t really matter because that part of the brain becomes futile where anxiety is concerned. The only thing then that the amygdala has to rely on then is the rest of the body and itself to do something to get it out of danger: a compulsion of some kind. Because there’s no logic involved in OCD or anxiety, the amygdala assumes that the perceived threat is ACTUALLY happening and is right in front of us which is why OCD works so so well on us.
Rick123Rick123
- Date posted
- 42w
@ScuderiaAlpha Thankyou so much , I have been thinking for a long time I can control my thought but I’ve now realised the thoughts aren’t the problem but my reaction to thoughts is , this helps me understand why using logic never works with my thoughts thankyou so much
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cows12465
- Date posted
- 24w
suic. ocd tips
so I need to get back into ERP, but it’s so hard to manage these thoughts and learn to deal with them. like I swear my mind has to make everything about it. Like every time I clean my room, my mind’s like yup make sure it’s clean so when your parents find you, or something so stupid like if I get a headache, my mind convinces me that I like the pain and that that’s why I get my thoughts because I actually want to do it. It’s so exhausting. Because I know I would never want to take my life and I treasure my life so why does it do it to me? It’s hard to comprehend the fact of these thoughts too because I don’t know many people with this exact theme. It’s such a scary feeling. And I’m constantly questioning whether I have actual depression or if it’s just my OCD. Yes I have been diagnosed with suicidal OCD, but my mind still tries to convince me otherwise. I just don’t know how to let these just sit and pass without panicking.
cows12465
- Date posted
- 24w
suic. ocd advice?
so I need to get back into ERP, but it’s so hard to manage these thoughts and learn to deal with them. like I swear my mind has to make everything about it. Like every time I clean my room, my mind’s like yup make sure it’s clean so when your parents find you, or something so stupid like if I get a headache, my mind convinces me that I like the pain and that that’s why I get my thoughts because I actually want to do it. It’s so exhausting. Because I know I would never want to take my life and I treasure my life so why does it do it to me? It’s hard to comprehend the fact of these thoughts too because I don’t know many people with this exact theme. It’s such a scary feeling. And I’m constantly questioning whether I have actual depression or if it’s just my OCD. Yes I have been diagnosed with suicidal OCD, but my mind still tries to convince me otherwise. I just don’t know how to let these just sit and pass without panicking.
rokenna
- Date posted
- 22w
New to diagnosis, and wanting advice
Hello, I’m in undergrad and recently was diagnosed with OCD. Its a very new diagnosis and it’s both been stressful and relieving to receive it. Looking back at my past I’ve been able to explain a lot of behavioral issues that I thought were simply attributed to me being “crazy”. It’s comforting to know it’s something that others struggle with and that there are set coping mechanisms and treatments for it. There are a number of thing of which I obsessively think about, and it’s been getting really hard to deal with all of them. The most troubling are my thoughts toward suicide. I can’t stop thinking about it. There’s not really any intent, it’s just like my brain has tuned into a frequency that plays in the background at all times. Usually though this leads to more dangerous behaviors, and so I always try to do any preventative work to keep myself safe. As for the asking for advice portion of this post, what do you all do to combat unending loops of thought? Because I’m so new to my diagnosis, my therapist and I haven’t found good strategies for me yet, outside of just labeling those thoughts as OCD in an attempt to delegitimize them.
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