I don't think I fully understand

And I don't want to be dependent on medication but I do know that some have to meditate but I would prefer learning how to live with myself. . I feel this has stopped me from being the person I could have become and now at 59 I have no income and do t know how to apply for SSI disability or even if I wouldx be a candidate for it. But I know as I'm older these things affect me more and more each day it seems.

@Ifiknewthen Medication is not the enemy. Sometimes medication can help OCD sufferers to be able to do ERP, as it can take the edge of it a little. Btw, trichotillomania is not the same as skin picking. Trichotillomania is hair picking, where as skin picking is called dermatillomania. If you share information, you should make sure that you got the facts right.

@bevcorder Im 44 and if you truly have had it as i have, its a terrible disorder if not diagnosed and treated. It can really destroy a persons life. Its not like having a little depression or a little anxiety. I would compare it to schizophrenia with regard to the level of damage it can do to a persons life. Antidepressants can help lift a persons mood with increase in serotonin but they just have so many side effects. And they are not the gold standard treatment for ocd. Erp is. Try your best to get with whatever therapist your insurance covers at the moment and see if they can lead you to a specialist in ocd/anxiety related disorders. Be honest with all the things that you worry about. I wasnt honest with my therapist and it hurt me.

@Zoë_84 I meant hair pulling. My bad. But i think its all in the same field of study. Thats what the therapist i had is specialized in. Chris liens ocd specialist. He has a podcast. The thing is, according to him and other ocd specialists is erp is the gold standard for ocd, not medication. Antidepressants are very serious brain altering medications and many people dont want to take them. Many doctors oppose their proliferation these last several decades. They cause sexual dysfunction, weight gain, tiredness, aggression. Teenagers have committed suicide after taking them. They are not aspirin. Some school shooters were taking them. So its a discussion to be had.

@Ifiknewthen Well, of course they are not aspirin, but they are good choice for some people. And you stating that "They cause sexual dysfunction, weight gain, tiredness and aggression" is wrong. They CAN cause side effects, but not everyone experiences (all of) them. I am aware, that taking medication is, on it's own, not enough to treat OCD, but as I stated before, it might be an option for some OCD sufferers to be able to commit to doing ERP in the first place. @School shootings: Taking anti-depressants might have a lasting impact on the developing brains of children and teenagers, but it's for the respective doctor do decide, if their patient would benefit from taking anti-depressants. @School shootings: I think the US should focus on the easy access to guns here.

@Ifiknewthen A little depression or a little anxiety? Seems like you are quick to downplay and belittle other mental health issues. Shame on you! And again, anti-depressants CAN have side effects, but not everyone experiences them. I assume you never used anti-depressents, yet you seem to be dead against them. I did use SSRIs against OCD and depression, even as a teenager. Some caused side effects, but most didn't. None made me aggressive, or caused me to harm myself, or others. I'll stop engaging with you now, as you seem to be fixated on your "truth" and no amount of trying to make you think outside of the box seem to have any effect on you. For the sake of the OCD sufferers in this forum, I hope you don't talk anyone out of taking anti-depressants for whom the medication would have provided symptom releave. If you do, that's on your conscience, not mine.