Had to dress my daughter and we were talking about animals. I worry because i had dressed her i felt i was leaning closer to her than id lean back than felt lean forward. Ocd said i was lesning to do something inappropriate but i know its ocd. And leaning back and forth or getting close or not i know ocd will make me feel like i did something wrong and can cause involuntary actions. I was just tryna help my child put their shirt on
Me giving you reassurance will only make things worse. You have to accept that intrusive thoughts for what they are…thoughts! And you should also accept uncertainty. Everyone accepts it in their life without over thinking about it. When you drive somewhere there is a possibility you could get a flat tire while driving but i’m sure you’re not constantly worried if it’s about to happen. You just drive and head to your destination! So why can’t you do the same for ocd? This is what you need to tell yourself. “Am I bad person because I leaned a certain way while changing my baby? I don’t know but that’s not important for me to figure out right now.” And continue on about your day with her. When you TRULY begin to stop caring you won’t even get as anxious when the thoughts come. Because at that point you’ve accepted that it’s just ocd wanting to mess with you. Cherish her while shes still a baby and embrace moments together. Life is so precious and you shouldn’t let ocd dictate your relationship with her or children in general. You don’t have to be counterproductive by ruminating over these silly thoughts. Anytime an intrusive thought comes just let it pass by like a cloud. Don’t engage with it, shoo it away, go back over the thought, confess/ask for reassurance. Just let it come and go. You will feel anxious at first and want to spirial but you can’t let it beat you. Your ocd knows you love your child and wants to make you feel bad about yourself. That’s all it does! I hope you find some sort of peace from this and you will as long as you stop engaging with ocd lol. Love on your family and let them love on you 🩷.
@Muffin34 Thank you!!!
@Muffin34 For me its not so much the groinal itself its the ocd statements telling me i did something bad snd the guilt which i understand are symptoms. I was laying in bed snd my daughter came to tell me good morning. I smiled snd said good morning than i rolled over and like stretched my legs but that stretching pressed my feet together snd down and it caused groinals so ocd said i was doing it to arouse myself. But i was just rolling over and stretching the ocd thought and the guilt is what gets me to ruminate and seek reassurance. But its not like i intentionally did that or had the thought that inwas going tīl arouse myself i just rolled over stretched than the thought and guilt came. But ocd says whyd i stretch like that it caused groinals i pressed my legs and feet together. But again i know its just ocd thoughts trying ti make me feel guilt
@Muffin34 Since ocd makes us think every new thought and occurence is more significant and different frim the last and the rest and gets me to ruminate how do i deal with it? How to deal with the guilt
@Anonynmous19 Hi there! You can’t listen to what ocd says. It wants you to argue with it and ruminate every action you do. And because you have pocd, your ocd makes everything seem like it was sexual. When ocd tells you something you need to just say “okay” and keep it moving. You will feel anxious because you didn’t feed into it.
@Anonynmous19 That guilt is your anxiety. The only way you can deal with it is accepting uncertainty. So anytime you get an image or thought about an occurance just say “okay” or “idk what it means but it doesn’t matter”. And don’t engage in any of it just continue to do whatever you were doing. Keep snuggling with her and don’t feed into the thoughts. They’re just thoughts and we all have them. Are you currently seeing a therapist that specializes in ocd?
@Anonynmous19 This theme seems harder to combat because of its theme and its taboo nature. But please trust me when i say it’s ocd wanting you to feel down. You’re already doing good by continuing to snuggle with her instead of avoidance! Keep it up. Just tell ocd to piss off when it tries to tell you something “wrong” you did. You don’t deserve to feel guilty for loving your baby.
@Anonynmous19 Thank you very much. This has been so hard. Really appreciate it
@Muffin34 Since ocd already convinced me from this thought occurrence with guilt can i apply the same methods above to reverse the guilt? I know ive had this before Guilt is a symptom. Sometime guilt hits from the beginning other times it doesnt or isnt as bad ninunderstand guilt is a symtpom of ocd to get ne to react and ruminate and since my initial response was giving into the guilt and worrying how do i reverse it? Just say whatever?
@Muffin34 im meeting with a therapist but i only meet once a week
@Anonynmous19 So you can’t really reverse it because you gave into it. But, in order to not let it bother you as much is by saying “whatever”. I know how you feel though. When I had pocd, my heart was heavy, I couldn’t eat, insomnia, I was just a wreck. You could also meditate by listening to an anxiety/ocd meditation video and closing your eyes. Taking a walk. Take a hot bath with some wine lol. You just need to relax basically whine down and let the emotions be there. Like you might still feel anxious but accept that you feel anxious and let it pass through. Then as you keep practicing this each day you won’t feel so bad mentally or physically. Remember you’re doing well and you’re trying!
@Muffin34 Thank you. Yes i cant eat and dont want to leave my bed. Appreciate your time and advice
@Anonynmous19 Has she taught you ERP also known as exposure response prevention? Also crying will help letting your emotions relieve because you’re not bottling yourself up anymore.
@Anonynmous19 Please eat something and try to get out of bed. That’s the first step to getting better. I know it’s hard bc you feel sick but it’s just your anxiety. Not eating also feeds your ocd bc your body knows you’re upset about something and this can lead to a depression. Your baby doesn’t want to see you this way.
@Anonynmous19 Any old thoughts from this morning you basically say idk and idc.
@Muffin34 Yes im practicing erp. Thank you for the advice. Im in a bad place but God willing ill make it over the hill soon.
@Muffin34 Thanks i been doing that. Feel exhausted. The guilt isnt screaming at me as much kinds like construction noise in the back
@Muffin34 Its crippling. I work construction and i feel restless from this ocd guilt anxiety thanks again for da support
@Anonynmous19 That means it’s working. It is starting to slowly die down. But don’t try to force the guilt to leave, let yourself naturally heal. Remember do not engage in any fights with it. No matter how vulgar the thought may be. It’s hard but it’s OCD wanting you to spiral again. You can either tell it to shut the hell up or just let it pass. I know with pocd those statements accusing you of being monster, accusing you of wanting to do bad things or random heinous images popping up in your head can be EXTREMELY hard to deal with. You’re begging for it to stop. You’re arguing with your brain that you don’t want to do any of those things. You might begin to google your situation so you don’t feel alone. The urge to confess starts to come along to people because you want reassurance that you’re not a bad person. You can even develop false memory ocd which makes things snowball. And it’s even worse to handle if you’re interacting with kids bc you dont want to have those thoughts especially around them but that’s how intrusive thoughts work. It wants to catch you off guard and ruins the moment. And then you proceed to ruminate and analyze everything. And if it gets really bad you start avoiding kids all together because you don’t want to trigger your ocd. It’s a whole train wreck. I think that’s the hardest part about pocd is accepting uncertainty and not being bothered with the thoughts and continuing to still interact with a kid. Because at first you feel anxious for not engaging. But over time you will be able to manage it.
@Anonynmous19 Try to listen to an anxiety or white noise video on youtube with headphones.
@Muffin34 Well sais thank you very much. I was praying for healing. Answered prayer
I was giving my child a bath. I picked her up out the tub because shes small. But the momentum of picking her up she swang a little toward my body and ocd said did i hip thrust kr do anything wrong. I did a compulsion saying NO repeatedly. And i put her back down and beforehand i didnt have any ill intent just to help her get out because shes a toddler. I had other intrusive thoughts but tbats not my intent i was just trying to be a good dad
I had to give my daughter a bath and wanted to help my wife bear the responsibility also read online pocd to not avoid bathing. I told myself I am going to bathe my child because im a good dad. As i bathed her i went to wipe her arms and torso. I was going to get her armpit and arm but with the sponge I wiped her chest erogenous area. Then i got anxious and did a compulsion and said “im sorry”. Then ocd said whyd i wipe there ni shouldve wiped her arm or armpit. Was i doing anything inappropriate. Or ocd said not to wipe there and I did so did i do anything inappropriate or with inappropriate intent. I hate having pocd and living parallel with this voice in my head. I know my intention wasnt inappropriate i even prep talked before and did the compulsion of apologizing after wiping. Now im questioning whyd i wipe there first before her arms and armpit since ocd told me to avoid her chest. Then i worry did i have ocd intrusive thought saying i wanted to wipe there and if i had this thought and i wiped there than it means i acted on the thought. I know i wouldnt do anything inappropriate to my child and i know my intent wasnt wrong.
Let me start by prefacing that I developed ocd as postpartum ocd after having my first child. I had harm and pocd. I had it on and off for years and then it just eventually went away completely for many years until recently after a stressful life event. Now that it’s back it again targets my children but now my grandchildren also. It’s been horrible and makes me pull away from them. Last night my 6 year old granddaughter threw up in the car when my daughter was about to take her home so my daughter brought her back in the house and asked me to clean her up while she cleaned her car. I had some anxiety about it because of my ocd but I couldn’t say no to helping so I opened the bathroom door and my granddaughter was standing in her underwear waiting for me to clean and dress her. Everything was fine and normal but then for some reason, I have no idea why, I looked down at her chest area. I immediately got so upset and didn’t know why I looked there and now my ocd is saying it’s because i’m a monster. I tried to tell myself it’s just normal human behavior when someone is standing there naked that you look where you shouldn’t simply because it’s just there in front of you but I feel horrible. I don’t feel any inappropriate way about her or any child but my ocd is saying it was inappropriate. Has anyone else been through this?
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