I’m so sorry, managing ocd can be so hard🙏😔 I’m having a hard day as well. When the intrusive thoughts , feelings come up, try not to engage with them the best u can, if u are able it can help to identify it like, “I’m having an intrusive thought. “Then use non engagement responses like, maybe, maybe not, or you can shrug your shoulders and say I don’t know, or I don’t have to figure that out right now. Also, try to just continue doing what u were doing before the intrusive thought/ feeling came up. Go towards your values, like go for a walk, finish what u were working on, call a friend, get out and go shopping, etc, listen to music or tv, work on a hobby, something enjoyable. Also, self compassion skills help , treat yourself like u would a friend going thru same things as u are🤗🙏💝 the thoughts and feelings will pass on there own at some point, it helps to try best we can to not engage them/ trying to figure them out. Hang in the there, you’re not alone. Also, not sure if you have an ocd therapist that specializes in erp therapy, all nocd therapists do👍🏻🤗💝 it has helped me a lot to work with someone that knows erp🙏🤗 also , Nathan Peterson on YouTube, ocd anxiety channel is awesome💝👍🏻🤗 and therapy in a nutshell on YouTube has a helpful video called leave on a stream that helps with managing thoughts . Hugs to you 🤗🙏💝