Why does my seasonal OCD trigger during fall/winter, impacting my friendships?

Why is soocd so confusing?? Anyone else’s OCD just bring up past experiences and make you believe that it could mean you’re the opposite sexual orientation you are? I identify as a straight female but in the past I had thoughts I could have been bi so it made me think I was even though I’ve never actually liked a girl? Idk. I’m so confused. I’m not attracted to women, I’ve always been super boy crazy. I just feel super alone in this regardless of all the similar experiences other people go through. I can’t watch tv, work is really hard because I have to talk to other women, certain clothes trigger me, hanging out with friends is hard, being lovey to my boyfriend is hard, even looking at myself is hard. I don’t feel like me. I’m just so confused and so lost. My OCD really sparked back in October and since it’s just gotten progressively worse. I have therapy today, and I’m looking forward to it. Anxiety and OCD is so hard. It effects me of every moment of every day, in everything I do. Im just so tired. Anyone have exposures that may help with this??

The past couple of days have been torture. Last night, visuals plagued my mind, thinking I would do something sexual with my friend. I hung out with her today and was anxious the entire time. I can’t even have fun anymore. Groinals, constant thoughts, checking, getting nervous and weird when she gets close to me, eye contact is hard. Does anyone else have sexual orientation ocd and find hanging out with your girl friends to be very difficult? I was doing alright for a while and wasn’t getting terribly triggered. (I have a bf btw)

I haven’t really had a lot of trouble with my SO-OCD intrusive thoughts for a while, but I just got really triggered by one of my friends. I’m a straight female and I recently discovered the singer Chappell Roan, who sings primarily about LGBTQ+ and lesbian experiences. Listening to her music was a big deal for me because normally that sort of thing would trigger me, but it’s pretty catchy to me and a few of my friends (who happen to be lesbian) thought it was cool and were happy I was into the same music they were into. Well today, I sent them a text that I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole with her music and am starting to watch her interviews, which is something I usually do when I discover a new artist (I tend to hyperfixate on things a lot). After sending this text, one of my friends said “are you sure you’re not gay” which sent me into an intrusive thought spiral. In the past, she’s said I set off her “gaydar” which was also really triggering to me. My brain keeps telling me that if I come off that way, it must mean I’m lying to myself and I’m actually a lesbian. I wanted to tell her that I have SO-OCD and those types of comments trigger me, but I don’t want her to take it as me not being accepting of gay people. I felt like I finally got to a place where I’m confident I’m straight and now my brain is trying to trick me into thinking I’m lying to myself and it really sucks. I’m really just posting this because I don’t feel like anyone in my life would understand what these thoughts even feel like and it’s just awful.