@Romy🩷🦕

hi yeah im sorry i just got really upset and uncomfortable so deleted it I'm sorry you can still send a recording message if you want.....

@Romy🩷🦕 I didn't keep the recording

@Zoë_84 - oh ok thats fine..

@Romy🩷🦕 I can assure you, that I have experienced what you are experiencing now. And after reading several posts of other POCD sufferers, I know, that a lot go through the same. The following questions and doubts ran rampant in my head: "Did you look at that child inappropriately?" "Did your foot touch that child inappropriately?" "Did the strap of your backpack brush over the arm of a child you just walked past?" "Did you entertain inappropriate thoughts about a child?" "Did you touch your niece inappropriately while holding her?" "Did your niece say 'Aunty, ouch.' due to her scrabbed knee, or did she try to tell you, that you hurt her?" "Did your niece start to bite her fingernails, because she just became a big sister and the changes stress her out, or did you do something to her two years ago, when you last saw her?" and on and on and on. These thoughts came with intensive feelings of guilt, shame self-hatred, anxiety, despair and soul crushing mental and emotional pain. I felt like I did the worst a human being is able to do and that the torment I felt would never stop. You are not alone in this, a lot of people on here suffered, or suffer from exactly the same.

@Zoë_84 - yes but mine i feel is way worse like i didn't even want to look at that but its just idk know why i felt anxiety and the urge to look when i litterly told myself no I'm not doing that wtf that's weird why would i even want to do that that a kid like why would i even want to look there and its like my ocd is so weird about this shit if i don't touch a certain item or wall or object if i don't look back at something or wash my hands 3 times and think about something in the right order i feel like i might get bad karma for not doing something that i need to do like i feel like somebody my yell at me or cuss me ou the next day like i don't know how to explain it its just so exhausting and I'm not trying to make up for what the compulsion was its just something i need to do and now i feel like shit

@Zoë_84 - and now im having these gross urges and unwanted thoughts about younger people and I'm scared because my mind is like oh you like that and i really don't i hate it like my pocd wasn't even as bad as this i had thoughts about men my age and i could sleep peacefully knowing that i wasn't a bad person and now i guess when i saw that video my mind is like oh you looked that must means you like it now your getting these urges they don't even feel like urges they feel gross it feels like arousal and I'm like is this who i am I'm now aroused by younger people like no! but even before this happened when i would like watch movies on screen everytime a younger person came up on tv i would quickly look away or sometimes i would keep looking to see if the grioinals were there and they were and it felt really gross like why do i feel like this

@Romy🩷🦕 You feel like this, because you suffer from POCD. If you have not yet done so, I recommend reading the following articles: https://manhattancbt.com/pocd/ https://manhattancbt.com/pocd-arousal/ https://manhattancbt.com/pocd-or-denial/ https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/common-fears/fear-of-becoming-a-pedophile https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/pocd-symtoms-and-treatment

@Zoë_84 Wait why is there a flag.....?

@Zoë_84 I said I didn't harm anyone. I was talking about compulsions.... urges, unwanted urges, and compulsions. I never harmed anyone and would never harm anyone. I don't know why it has a flag......

@Romy🩷🦕 Maybe because you mentioned su*cide?