I’m confused and idk how i feel. I feel empty. I feel like i don’t feel bad for my religious thoughts anymore and that maybe i’m having them on purpose??.. I don’t know how to explain. Has anyone else felt like this.?
I understand what you are saying. Here are a couple points. 1.). Even if you FEEL empty, that doesn’t mean that your life is really empty. One thing OCD has taught me is that our feelings are super unreliable. We have to live by our faith decisions, not our feelings. 2.) When you have been fighting off religious thoughts for a long time, it feels strange to stop fighting them. However, you HAVE TO stop fighting the thoughts in order to recover from OCD. I have fought blasphemous thoughts off for years and years—until I realized that God didn’t need me to fight them off (because the thoughts don’t mean anything). I needed to take a step of faith and NOT fight the thoughts off (which was scary). I learned how to just let them run freely through my head. When most people reach this stage of their recovery process (when they learn to let the thoughts run), they often feel like this means that they “don’t care” about the thoughts anymore. They start to feel numb in their feelings toward the thoughts, and also toward God. This is normal. Think of yourself like you are on a journey. We are at the bottom of a hill, and we are journeying to the top (where we reach OCD recovery!). ⛰️ You have taken some steps forward in your journey. You decided not to fight off the thoughts!! Good! That’s a step forward. And with that step comes fear and uncertainty. It is normal to experience numbness and feeling like you don’t care about the thoughts (but guilty because you feel like you are supposed to care). This is bound to happen when you stop fighting the thoughts. Your OCD is trying to make you feel guilty. But the truth is that you ARE SUPPOSED TO NOT CARE ABOUT THE THOUGHTS!!!! On this pathway to Recovery, we all have to discover some day that our thoughts weren’t actually dangerous, and that they didn’t mean anything, and that we don’t have to care about them at all. We can just let them run while we go about our lives. 3.). A seed first grows in the dark, under the soil. You might feel like you are drifting from God, But the truth is that you are not. Our faith GROWS more when we practice believing his Word, even when we feel distant and numb and exhausted from the OCD. This sounds counterintuitive, but OCD gives you an opportunity to practice a deeper faith. Remember, “we walk by faith, not by sight”. OCD will bring us to our knees as we learn this truth. We have to believe God’s word when all our feelings and all the logic of our broken brain tells us otherwise. You are NOT distant from God. His Word says that. Now you have a chance to practice believing that truth even though your feelings tell you that nothing is okay. I live this every day. Every day my OCD says I am in trouble with God. Every day it says that I am responsible for keeping my soul safe. And every day I have to go back to God’s truths and walk by those truths instead of my feelings. It’s interesting, but walking according to the Word instead of your feelings is the essence of faith.
I feel empty too. It's probably due to the changing of the seasons and that we've become so fed up with the thoughts OCD throws at us that we're just kind of used to it at this point. I just feel numb most days because I am tired of how much this disorder has hurt me to the point that I just want to think about other things like focusing on my life, job, license etc.
Absolutely. Life starts to feel meaningless, especially when it’s about religious thoughts. God still loves you even if you did have them on purpose. It’s okay. Take a breath. You are wonderfully and fearfully made. I encourage you to spend an hour or so doing an activity that you enjoy. It always helps me feel a little less empty.
Have you ever been through Very bad thoughts about your brain wants to twist anything about good or bad like evil and good which is god and sat*n and panicking because you believe In god but your brain is messing with you have you ever felt like you're afraid you had commit blasmphy in your thoughts It's very bad thoughts like omg where does these toughts come from?? Please tell me your experience One moment I feel okay and I can pray and vent to god and other moment I'm so ashamed of myself for thinking like that Am I alone in this am I crazy?
I’m Christian, and I suddenly had a loss of faith. I’m praying constantly and as anxious and scared that God hasn’t chosen me for this religion, even though I believe in it whole heartedly. My brain is telling me these things, and saying how I would be fit for Islam or something else, even though I am perfectly happy being a Christian. I keep getting intrusive thoughts and feelings about not believing in my religion, and whenever I confess how I do believe, my brain tells me I’m lying or I feel otherwise. It makes me feel guilty and abandoned and alone. I still read my Bible and pray CONSTANTLY. Please help (sorry if this is hard to understand I am ranting)
About 2 years ago I gave my life to Jesus. I've always been a "Christian" but never truly lived liked one until then. One day I had a thought about is God real? It bothered me so bad and I went into a massive spiral. Doubting everything. My faith. if I was good enough. Am I really saved? Do I have enough faith? Is my doubt real? Is it too much? Have these blasphemous made God not want me anymore? Or Jesus? :( Then I started having horrible blasphemous thoughts, then it would go back to doubting thoughts then back to the blasphemous ones. I hated the thoughts and doubts. The thoughts are so mean towards God, Jesus & HS. It’s anywhere from evil thoughts to cussing thoughts to rejection thoughts/denying. Demonic thoughts. Literally anything bad you could think of! Even thoughts of if I really love them or wanna follow them. I feel so trapped or my faith isn't the same. Which makes me sad because I want my faith! I feel like I've gotten lazy and honestly that I don't deserve them or am "too far gone" from them. I feel like idk how to be a Christian or how to have faith or just exist tbh. I’m in a constant struggle of fear, anxiety and sadness. I wanna love God & Jesus! I want faith! I just feel kinda stuck. Please help. I feel so numb and don’t know what to do. Has anyone gone through this or has advice or tips?
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