Scared of peeing myself

For months now, ever since one accident (which I think was because there was genuinely sth wrong with my bladder) I have been scared of just randomly peeing myself. So whenever I’m for example in a car, I get anxious and then that leads to me feeling like I need to pee and then I can’t stop focusing on it and obviously that makes me feel even more like I need to pee which leads to me going to the toilet only shortly after I had already been. And yesterday I was at a theme park and the queues to the rollercoasters were absolute hell for me since you can’t go outside anymore after going in (especially because sometimes I was alone so if I had gone outside, they wouldn’t have let me back in for sure). And I was on a water coaster so I sat on an already wet seat and just got more wet throughout because the people who were also in that boat specifically sat down in a way that would get their side more wet because of the weight on that side and sadly I ended up on that side too. But after that I went to another rollercoaster where I proceeded to stand for over an hour. And at some point I started to notice having to go to the toilet (I had been before going on the water coaster but the wait time there was only 1 minute so I had been like 50 minutes ago at that point), but the wait lines in that coaster are insane and it was difficult to get out of the queue in the first place so I decided to push though and get those 15 minutes over with. So I was on the rollercoaster and then instantly I ran to the toilet, but on the toilet I noticed that, at the very back of my underwear there was a wet spot. And then I started to Panik, thinking I must’ve magically peed myself on the rollercoaster despite not having felt anything (I barely enjoyed the rollercoaster because I was so hyper aware of every single sensation, wasted a first row experience on ts). But like, the wetness was on the height of my back pockets so really far on the sides where my pee hole can’t even actually reach. And I also never noticed myself peeing myself because that would’ve obviously realised warmth but I didn’t feel any warmth. And the pants had been wet all the time and I remember having felt that wet spot while still standing in the queue so it would’ve been impossible for me to just pee upwards while standing. It was also not that big of a wet spot and on my pants you could only feel the wetness but not see it. But yea, this still has me thinking because obviously that would’ve been horrifically embarrassing. Do y’all think this is even possible because of the positioning of the wet spot? Because my brain doesn’t allow my own logic of things

Anonymous

Date posted: 41w

I'm sorry you're going through this. I understand the analysing and overthinking. I haven't been to a theme park for years now. However one of the things I remember is getting up and thinking "did I pee?" because the seats always seemed to have a wet spot. I'm not sure if that's because other people peed or maybe a mixture of sweat and humidity in the air. But I would always feel wet when I got up and I know that I didn't pee. I hope that helps.

Zoë_84

Date posted: 41w

I can relate to what you are experiencing. As a teenager, I also suffered from the fear of peeing myself and whenever I couldn't reach a toilet within a few minutes, I urgently needed to pee. Car rides and bus rides turned in to a nightmare for me. I already had been diagnosed with OCD a few years before, but I didn't realize, that my fear of peeing myself and the feeling, that I had to pee whenever I couldn't, was also a symptom of OCD. At some point, after having stressed about that issue for months, I thought to myself "Well, if I pee myself, then I pee myself. I will not die, if it happens." I did not just think that to myself trying to convince myself, I really felt it and the constant fear of the possibility, that I might pee myself and the feeling, that I had to pee, even if really did not have to pee vanished. I didn't know it back then, but what I did was ERP. I showed my brain, that the fear of peeing myself wasn't a threat. I let go of that fear and so did my brain. Going by your post, you are engaging in compulsions. You ruminate about whether, or not you peed yourself at the theme park and you are asking other people for reassurance. By doing compulsions you give your fear of you peeing yourself attention, which leads your brain to believe, that this fear is valid and important. As a result, your brain will bring up more intrusions (thoughts, feelings, sensations, etc.) making the vicious cycle of OCD continue. If you are not already seeing a therapist specialized in ERP, I suggest you try to find one.

oneday.x

Date posted: 18w

Just experienced most traumatic bathroom visit 😭🙏.

I'm keeping it light hearted but I really desperately need some help. Just to preface this is very tmi. I thought it was just gonna be a quick bathroom stuff. No! That would be silly of course, so number two decided to screw things up ROYALLY. And please bear with me because I am coping with humour 😭😭. So I went, but sometimes, tmi, I struggle to.... Get it all. Out. If you know what I mean. Which is pretty awful to the point I'm like genuinely praying. Because you can't clean up properly if you're not done. So I'm in the bathroom, trying, for over half an hour. And I finally give up pretty much and try and clean up. Oh no, that was a huge mistake. But what else could I do? It was so messy that I wanted to just get in the shower and be done with it. Onto the things I'm worrying about I guess. On the tp (tmi, I'm WARNING 😭😭) it was.... Messy, and there were very loose specks on the tp. Which is an issue, because I used wet wipes which needs to be binned and not flushed, so I have to carry the tp-wipe combo over to the bin, which means carrying it over where my legs are, and thus where my clothes also are. I hate it. I'm now paranoid specks fell into my underwear! Great! Love it. I'm also paranoid specks or just #2 in general went on my hand. And, believe me, with the state of things, it was POSSIBLE. So when I'm finally done and wash my hands, of course that isn't going to feel like enough. I have really short nails, so short they're painful, and I'm always terrified stuff gets under them. So, I use a nail brush while washing my hands. I also filed them down (which HURT) because I'm convinced that could get rid of anything underneath them. But it still doesn't feel enough. Because I have loose skin and hangnails around my nails, and I'm paranoid as well that stuff gets under dry skin. Not to mention my hands are so dry from washing that they're cracked and flaky and they peel, so I am worried that #2 or dirt gets under the flakes of skin. I know it sounds stupid, but I am so scared. Usually it feels irrational but it was such a state that I'm convinced there must be a speck of it on me somewhere. On my hands. And I'm terrified. I know I need to accept uncertainty but I'm struggling right now.

Baker girl

Date posted: 15w

Urinary retention or ocd

Hey. So I’ve been experiencing a lot of anxiety with my bladder. Every time I urinate I feel the need to completely empty my bladder and it has to feel “just right” so I’ll sit on the toilet for more than 10 min straining every last drop out. And then on the other hand I’ll hold in my pee for a long time because I dread going to the bathroom knowing I’ll take a long time. I’ve also noticed I’m getting bloated more often and this in turn makes it harder to get the rest of my pee out. I’m worried that I’m causing health issues with my bladder so I’m thinking of seeking medical advice. Has anyone else had similar issues?

erinp05

Date posted: 13w

Somatic OCD relapse- peeing/bladder

Hi I’m new to this group. I’ve had ocd and very bad anxiety disorder since I was a kid and only got progressively worse as I grew up. I’m 26 now. I had some somatic/sensorimotor ocd while growing up and feeling or worrying about health concerns that aren’t actually there… anyway about 5 weeks ago I randomly started feeling like I had to go pee all the time? I don’t have any pain or anything just the horrible constant feeling like I need to go pee. I’ve gotten checked for a uti multiple times. My pcp suspects it could be being exacerbated by the anxiety because it’s so distressing to me it’s almost all I think about. My ocd has convinced myself that I now have some chronic bladder problem. I notice it’s not as bad at night when I’m relaxed (thanks to medication) and about to fall asleep. I just am so scared that it’s never going to go away and I’m going to have to deal with this for the rest of my life and I can’t do that…. Was just wondering if anyone else ever dealt with this symptom? I know our brains are powerful but sometimes it just feels so real. 😣😣

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Scared of peeing myself

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