How to move on? Pls read

So when I was younger (maybe late middle school but I’m not sure), I had been introduced to p*rn and it became something of an addiction overtime. I was exposed to a lot of things that have scarred me mentally. There’s a specific instance where I came across (accidentally) a clip so disgusting and even illegal. The thought of it makes me wanna throw up now but at the time I didn’t understand the gravity of what I was watching. I remember even going back and trying to find the same clip again later on but was unable to and eventually realized that what I was entertaining was really messed up. This memory has recently come up again in my adult life and the guilt I have is consuming. It bothers me that I could have been older than I think or that I watched more of this kind of content than I remember. I guess my question is to what extent can we chalk things up to “well I was a kid and I’m not that way anymore so I can move on”. Bc this was REALLY bad. How do I move on without constant guilt?

Thor 22

Date posted: 41w

Guilt does nothing for u or the situation if u think about it. Y hurt yourself? Why feel badly about stuff you cant change? Porn isnt the best thing to waste time watching. It alters your mind thsts why we watch it.

Philipp2024

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 41w

How do I move on without constant guilt? The answer is the same for every OCD theme: make a neutral response then refocus on living your life. In your case a neutral response would be: “maybe I was very inappropriate, maybe I wasn’t” Now rinse and repeat the neutral response plus refocus for 100 times and slowly but surely you will notice how you won’t care anymore. If you want quicker results you can also sprinkle in some ERP. In your case you could watch some triggering content on YouTube that explains how porn messes with our mind and leads us to consume ever extreme content. When you notice your mind drifting off during the video gently bring it back to refocus on the video (response prevention).

Anonymous

Date posted: 17w

Thinking u did something u not sure if u did

Hey guys I just wanted to talk about something I was feeling I feel so trapped and terrible I have a bad pornography addiction even back then idk what to do I'm 17 years old but basically I looked at some very obscure things on the Internet ranging from hentai or just even more messed up things when I was younger I think maybe early teens I remember randomly just started remembering things I saw now I do not remember if I acted on them or jerked off to them idk what to do I feel so ashamed trapped I feel like I can't enjoy life anymore for what I've done I been introduced to porn when I was young idk what to do I seem alot back then some memories pop certain ones I don't remember if I had pleasured myself to it it feels like I did I have so much shame if I did but idk what to do

Anonymous

Date posted: 16w

Real event false memory ruining enjoyment guilt

Hi everyone, I'm struggling with what I think are intrusive thoughts, possibly related to OCD, and I'm hoping someone here might relate. When I was younger, in my early teens, I went through a period where I had a strong interest in pornography. During that time, I encountered hentai involving male characters, related to an anime I enjoyed. One of the characters was someone I even looked up to. I feel incredibly uncomfortable admitting this, but I believe I engaged in sexual activity related to it. Years later, I'm plagued by intrusive thoughts about this. I feel intense self-disgust and shame. It's like this memory has "tainted" my ability to enjoy that anime, and sometimes other things. I'm constantly replaying the situation in my mind, questioning my past actions, and worrying about what it means about me. The anxiety is significantly impacting my life. Does anyone else experience intrusive thoughts focused on past events, particularly those that cause feelings of shame or disgust? How do you cope with the constant replaying and questioning? I'm looking for support and understanding. Thank you for listening.

Date posted: 16w

Past mistakes

When is a mistake too big to forgive. I looked at content that I really shouldn’t have (🌽)but I didn’t understand it was wrong at that time and with no parents supervision online . It happened in my teen like 14/15 and I’m so guilty. What makes it worse is that a small artist did something really similar and got cancelled and called disgusting . It is disgusting but I truly didn’t know how disgusting it is and if did I would’ve never done it . And it was worth cancelling her . But I did too so .

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