Testing!!

I’m kind of frustrated because for YEARS I’ve been trying to express my concerns. For about 6-7 years I’ve been concerned about having OCD. I’m not diagnosed and I want to talk to a professional to confirm whether or not I have it. I have been struggling with several symptoms over many years of my life and it has been absolutely distressing. I’ve expressed my concerns to two doctors. One of them pretended like they didn’t hear me and the other did give me scenarios that I experience. When I said yes to the ones that applied to me, she said “well it’s very normal for people to wash their hands a lot and check door locks” well yeah but what I experience is so much more than that and it’s been absolutely horrendous. I have super bad compulsions and intrusive thoughts, at some point I broke a TV because I felt like I had to throw these little coasters at it for 5 times. And then after those 5 times, the way I threw it didn’t feel right, so I had to do it again and again until it felt right and then it broke :/ The doctor later told me that they can recommend me to professionals but my mom didn’t want me to because of fear that I can get medicated. But I just want to talk to a professional to be able to express my concerns about it. I also feel bad about talking about what I experience because I don’t want people to think that I’m trying to self diagnose myself. I just want to be able to recognize my struggles and try to overcome what I go through. All I want is help. At some point I went to therapy and I had three sessions and then my mom pulled me out. But in those sessions I haven’t talked about my struggles with OCD yet, I was talking about other issues and my therapist was still trying to get to know me. :( Sometimes when I’ve talked to my parents they don’t really try to listen. Sometimes they tell me “well everyone has a little bit of OCD”. Okay, well I’m not talking about everyone, I’m talking about ME. And back when I struggled so much with violent intrusive thoughts, it was also a time where I felt like I HAD to tell my parents about every thought that I had. And my parents were concerned and thought that I was just in general violent. But I’m not violent, I don’t believe these things. And they STILL don’t want to hear me out on my concerns after all of that. I just want to feel validated with what I go through. I am convinced that I struggle with OCD, but I want to be SURE. I don’t want to feel like I’m self diagnosing. I want to KNOW what I’ve been experiencing all these years. I really do like this app because I feel like I finally relate to other people and that I can REALLY talk about my struggles while being understood. Whether or not if I do have it, I feel really understood and I really understand and relate with others. But anyways I hope I can figure this whole thing out one day😓🙏

Hi everyone, my name is Kendal and I am new here, although I do not believe I am new to OCD in the SLIGHTEST. Im about to leave my 20s behind and begin a new chapter of my life. Everyone says your 30s are suppose to be the best right? I am proud of myself for making a huge step forward, before the beginning of this new chapter. I’ve been experiencing symptoms of OCD for as long as I can remember. These feelings, thoughts, compulsions have been existing with me since middle school. They’ve manifested in many many different ways throughout the years, and continue to evolve as I get older. I’ve experienced emetophobia, obsessive thoughts about passing out or getting sick in front of people, contamination OCD, white coat syndrome and the newest culprit… Harm OCD. In middle school, it was extremely hard to understand WHY I felt the way I felt, and experienced the intense anxieties that I did. Over the years I kind of just put up with these thoughts and feelings of uneasiness.. and thought it was just regular ol’ anxiety. Recently the harm OCD came through, triggered by a traumatic event. Lemme tell ya… if you’ve ever experienced harm OCD… I am terribly sorry. It’s absolutely horrifying. It scared me so badly, to the point of actually seeking professional help. During that extreme anxiety inducing time, I was also terrified to tell a professional what was happening to me. I started with telling my husband first. What a RELIEF! I learned that telling someone made me feel so much better so I thought, man… I wonder what telling a professional would do for me? RELIEF!!!!! She helped me realize that yes this is a very very real thing people experience daily. She’s suggested therapy to pair with medication. I’ve given the medication about a year to do its thanggg and goodness, what a difference. I wish I got help earlier but hindsight is 20/20. This is me, now ready to implement therapy. I’m ready to gain a better understanding, collect coping skills and chat with people who have had similar experiences. Thinking you’re alone in OCD is incredibly isolating and scary. I am happy to finally realize I am not alone.

I've been struggling about OCD for a long time and I've only been made aware of it now. It's the cause of all my worrying, compulsions, and all the times I feel unpeaceful. When I first learnt about it I felt really relieved. My kind of "obsession" are intrusive thoughts that contradict my faith and values. I've spent years fighting these thoughts and doing compulsions of seeking reassurance from verses or praying and such or saying "no I don't!!" when they happen. I try to ignore them anduse cognitive defusion but sometimes it just breaks my peace. Another obsession I have is having images in my head about touching dirty things like the rust in my bathroom. A compulsions I have regarding that is imagining myself being anywhere BUT the bathroom but it doesn't stop. Now that I know, I'll try and find a way to heal, and figure it out with myself and God (because I can't rely on my parents, they're not the open-minded kind regarding mental health)