My heart is hardened towards God. I don’t feel bad for anything anymore. I feel dissociated from myself. My physical body is here but I am not TRULY here. I don’t care about my soul anymore because i just don’t want to worry and be anxious. Am i in the wrong for this?
God can soften your heart again it may just take some time. Talk to him even if you're mad or don't care what he thinks rn. The Bible has perfect examples of people being angry or hardened but still speaking with God and getting through it!
I can relate! And it’s a sucky feeling!@CC.090715 You’re not alone with feeling that way. I know sometimes it can feel scary to feel that way and think “Why does it feel like I’m the only one feeling that way??” But I agree with @Princesssss111 I also think the enemy knows about ocd and tries to use it to his advantage to bring more shame , guilt, so that we don’t keep that relationship with God
I can promise you’re not alone. I have felt just how you are describing! It’s hard not to be down on yourself, angry, frustrated and feel like you need to disassociate from life. I’ve done the same. It was sad and empty. But God’s not done with you. Try to stick with therapy and be patient with yourself.
@KelSul73 OCD is a horrible mind game and, personally, (consult with your therapist on tactics first) I’ve enjoyed making OCD into my own game- owning it. You are not alone in this battle
God loves you, even when you think you are far from him. Ask Him to draw you near and He will. The evil one may know about OCD, but so does our Lord and savior. Thoughts are just thoughts, but God reigns above it all. Through His goodness, He will not let you fall.
Don’t drift away, come back to him it may seem hard but he’s waiting for you with open arms he can turn anything around!!
@Princesssss111 I feel like i can’t. Like no matter what i do i can’t. I feel like if i do, everything will get worse because i feel like it always does. When i go to God, my thoughts get worse and i fail over and over again so what’s the point of trying? I don’t even feel like i’m being completely honest with God. Like i feel guilty about something but idk what it is. It feels like i’m making myself the victim and i’m having thoughts on purpose. And i think it’s true. I’ve asked God for forgiveness but i just don’t know. Idk what to do. I’m done with everything.
@CC.090715 When things get this way, this is when you don't give up most people feel that way i've felt that way that when you get closer to god things start getting worse thats because god are preparing things to get better i promise without god we are nothing now it's time for you to put on the whole armor of him fight for your life tell the devil he can't have you this is what the devil wants you to do he wants you to give in and turn from god don't do things will be way worse the devil doesn't like any of us he's here to steal, kill, and destroy don't turn from god you don't have to pray aloud to god or talk to him aloud becuase the devil is always listening you can talk and pray to god silently don't turn away from him he can turn things around!!
I used to have religious OCD. Still kinda do. Accidentally thought something bad about God once, panicked thought something bad about the Holy Spirit. Fell into doom. This was recently after recomitting myself to Christ. Since then I pretty much gave up. Unfortunately, it also led to me compromising my morals many times because I figured I was going to hell anyway. I wish I knew what OCD was then. I think it would have saved me a lot of pain. I no longer have a relationship with God, and fear I never will again.
Today I was trying to figure out something at work, and some people were watching and I was taking longer than expected. I said to myself, “why am I so stupid” and I felt like I was angry and I felt like I was angry at God. I’m worried because I felt like I cursed God in my heart. I’m worried because who am I to be mad at God. I want to have reverence, and I just don’t know what to do. It feels like my heart is hard.
So, alot has changed. I'm Christian and currently believe we are in the end of times. It's changed my whole perspective on life. I quit my job and moved back in with family, starting to go to church, apologized to those I hurt except, one person who I talked to two family members and they told me to delete the message and with my other apology ( that i also believed was God telling me to confess in 2020) i lied at some parts because of shame and confusing myself most likely intentionally. I confessed everything to my dad and he says since i turned from it, repented, that i need to let it go and continue forward. Since then, my minds been saying that I'm outside of God's will and everything's gone down hill. I had also prayed that God exposed me and now it's like all this evil and wickedness that feels like it's coming out of my heart settles into my chest. I've prayed to God, worshipped to God, but thoughts and images of being sent to hell or my loved ones pops into my head and I've gone to sleep twice each night accepting the fact that because of me not doing so may have doomed me and my loved ones and I feel scared that I got so tired and stopped fighting it. I've had ocd since I was 7 but it just is so scary because it's hitting down to the wire and I'm scared that I was never a child of God at all I mean I have iniquity I thought I repented for but people I love still struggle with what I've done and I prayed for them and tried to help them and suggest therapy but I haven't did what I could to make it right like I should've. But these images and thoughts they're horrible. I feel like I'm against God truly and I'm like Lord change the circumstances and I won't resist so that I can preach Your word and everyday I feel like I'm gambling. It's like every thought is biblical for the most part. I don't want to kill myself cuz what if I have a chance that God will have mercy on me but....
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
