boyfriend thinking about breaking up

@BigGyro09 Yeah we had a long 2 hour talk, I can’t meet up with him currently because he says he needs alone time to reflect on what he wants to do in the future, I told him to take it easy at the moment and don’t jump to conclusions until we can figure out what is our wants and needs.

@anxious artist How's that make you feel? Do you know what your needs and wants are out of this for both of you and yourself? I think this is a good start

@BigGyro09 I want to maintain the relationship, but remain long distance, since he says he doesn’t have time to see me as much anymore, it’s difficult and challenging. I don’t know what the future holds but I feel so lost and confused about all of this.

@anxious artist I think having faith at the end of the day can help when with those confused feelings. As long as you want to maintain the relationship, you can stick with that. I hope it gets easier in the future.

@BigGyro09 I want to have faith, I really do, but I also want to be realistic about this, my fear is that the suicidal thoughts will come back even stronger afterwards and I won’t know how to manage those scary feelings. This is too much for me to take in for one day.

@anxious artist That sounds very serious. Do you have anyone to talk to about that? Any coping strategies to try and get through those thoughts?

@anxious artist This sounds overwhelming. Maybe you can give yourself time to just mentally take a break and breathe?

@BigGyro09 I’m trying to breathe, this honestly feels like the same feeling I had when my dad died.

@BigGyro09 Like the same sadness, I can’t explain it, I know we’re not technically over yet, but who knows.

@anxious artist I'm really sorry to hear about that. That's very anxiety inducing and a lot to deal with. Do you have anyone close to you that can help you with through times like these? Anyone at all?

@BigGyro09 I’m speaking to my mom about it, but I’m pissed that I still can’t see my nocd specialist and tell her all of this, she was so kind and supportive during my struggles and now I can’t even see her due to insurance issues.

@anxious artist Have you and your mom tried to work out insurance difficulties with NOCD if possible? I wish they were working on attempts to accept more insurance from other people to get the help they need

@BigGyro09 We’re currently in the process of switching insurances but it’s so time confusing, in the meantime I’m just suffering in silence about all of this, and I feel like screaming into the void

@anxious artist I really hope everything turns out okay and NOCD can accept your new insurance. It will get better. I know that things can turn around on a positive note.

@BigGyro09 I really want to have hope that things will work out, I’m just so moody about everything. 😞

@anxious artist It's okay to feel all the feelings you're getting. Don't be hard on yourself for that. They'll come and go. I'm mostly anxious about a lot of things and that gets in the way of looking forward to things sometimes.

@BigGyro09 It’s just a huge stab in the chest, especially for a relationship. I didn’t know what I was thinking when I started dating, I thought it would make me happier, but it ended up giving me more problems then solutions.

@anxious artist Don't blame yourself for falling in love. That's very human. I still do think things will get better. None of this stuff is your fault.

@RS1208 Thank you for the support, I just have no idea how to process all of this, that same feeling I had after my fathers death is here, and it feels so weird and overwhelming.

@anxious artist I can imagine that’s very overwhelming, dealing with this, while it also bringing you memories / feelings of your fathers passing. I’m sorry you’re going through this right now. I can’t really help, but at least you got a community of people here. Which can help you feel a little less alone as you navigate through this.

@RS1208 It’s especially hard since I have no close friends in real life, so I’m mainly just talking to people in my own small inner circle, I only have my mom to vent to, going through life changes is seriously fucking me and I wasn’t prepared for it. We haven’t broken up of course, but things are just going to be different from now on.

@anxious artist But you do have a small inner circle, and your mom thankfully! And I’m happy to talk as well of course, I’m on here a few times a day. Changes can be challenging, sometimes overwhelming. But I’m sure you’ll find a way to get through it.

@RS1208 Thank you again, still trying to come to terms with it, but it all happened way too soon and I’m at a loss here not knowing how to proceed with life, he said he wants alone time and can’t hangout.

@anxious artist Of course! And a person saying that is going to hurt at times, especially when it’s someone we’re dating. There’s no good way through it but try your best to continue doing things you like - healthy distractions, while also accepting how hard it feels. Of course it’s still going to suck, but again, do your best.

@RS1208 I do my best to distract myself but it has become difficult overthinking all of this, especially when it affects me severely and mentally.

@anxious artist Yeah, I get that. Maybe just give yourself rest then. I know eating well, getting fresh air, walks and water help me handle my mental health a lot better, especially during challenging times. Unless that’s something you already do of course.

@RS1208 I’ll try to rest and relax until I can think clearly again about what’s going on, because my brain is going haywire and I dunno how to handle it.

@anxious artist I think that’s a good call. Right now your body and mind both need that. Once you’re more calm, you may be able to handle the situation better. :)

@RS1208 I really appreciate the advice and feedback, it seems like I’m going through all the stages of grief again and it’s impossible to cope, I’ll definitely reach out again soon if needed.

@anxious artist Grief is hard, no matter who you are or how well equipped you may be. I wish you luck through it. If you have a discord, you can message me there too if needed!

@RS1208 I have discord too! It’s @piutosghost (it’s a capitalized i)

@anxious artist Could not find it! Try searching for mine: omniral

@RS1208 I think I sent you a friend request, let me know if you received it