I don’t want to wake up

@hanysm@gmail.com I am trying to love myself, I really am. But I am convinced that I cannot be loved by anyone, he made my life special and then abandoned me when I was no longer convenient in his life. I felt like I was being used for his own personal gain. I ignored all the red flags people were telling me about, and flew too close to the sun. Just imagining him with another woman and having kids with her makes me sick, how I’ll never have the life he promised me back in the summer.

@anxious artist Are you ready to open your heart to a broader understanding of love? It’s time to recognize that love isn’t just about romantic relationships; it’s a beautiful, expansive concept that surrounds you every day. You have an incredible support system—your family, including your parents, siblings, and extended relatives, who love you unconditionally. Think about your friends, neighbors, and classmates. Each of them brings their own unique form of love into your life. Embrace this love and allow yourself to give and receive it fully. Don’t overlook the wonderful connections you already have in pursuit of something that feels out of reach. Start with the most important relationship: the one you have with yourself. Nurturing self-love is the foundation for all other relationships. As you cultivate this love within, it will radiate outward, attracting positivity and even that special someone you’ve been dreaming of. Remember, self-love is the key to drawing in the love you desire. You are worthy of all the love that surrounds you!

@BigGyro09 We didn’t break up, but he’s very distant now, not calling/texting like he used to in September, the worst part is that the last time I saw him was my birthday which makes it even more painful. Nothing feels real anymore and I lost the source of my joy. I am gradually losing my soul again and I am tired of grieving over people…

@anxious artist It sounds like you miss him greatly. I'm sorry that you've lost so many people but I don't think he will leave you. I think after he's done taking time for himself, he will come back to you. I just think it would help the most for you to be there for yourself. Please don't be too hard on yourself.

@BigGyro09 I kept thinking he misses me but my doubts grow by the minute and it could be me refusing to let go, he hasn’t called or texted me back and only replies to the things I sent him. My friends do help, but that same personal connection I had with somebody cannot be replaced so easily, he left a permanent mark on me, and now wants to discard me.

@anxious artist How are you so sure he wants nothing to do with you? I think those are bad assumptions that are clouding your thinking in unhealthy ways. You haven't lost all communication with him yet. I think there's still a chance.

@BigGyro09 Well, no communication doesn’t necessarily mean he wants me back, it seems like he’s trying to let me down easily by refusing to talk

@anxious artist I don't know all of the details of course. Besides him not wanting to talk, is there anything else that makes you think that?

@BigGyro09 He kept talking about wanting a new chapter, which sounded like he wanted to leave me behind, he also says he struggles with commitment due to college, and even plays video games at night with his friends

@anxious artist Maybe you can ask him if that new chapter involved you or not. Just to be upfront with it, maybe? I can see how asking that would make you nervous though.

@BigGyro09 It didn’t involve me because he was talking about breaking up beforehand and said he wants a new chapter going forward, I told him not to rush things and jump the gun so suddenly and just wait to see how things unfold later on

@anxious artist Did he say why he wanted to break up beforehand? I think it can help to get back to him on that and see how he feels now. Whatever happens, I think the best thing you can do for not only this but stuff in the future is to be there for yourself, accept what has happened, and not give up on yourself.

@BigGyro09 - He couldn't stay committed, and wanted to be alone, i made the fatal mistake of being too dependent on him for months and it costed me my life.

@anxious artist @anxious artist It didn't cost you your life. It's not over yet. I think this is learning experience for you both. With everything that's happened, what do you want out of this? That's what matters. Do you want to try and heal the relationship?

@BigGyro09 I don’t know what I want really, this whole thing confuses me, I just want to sleep forever or something to keep my mind off of him, but he always sneaks in the back of my mind

@anxious artist I think what you have to do is process those thoughts and try to find a way not to move away from it, but to move through it. I know that sounds like the opposite of what you may want, but I think pushing it aside will make you feel bad. Just remember, this isn't your fault. This doesn't say anything about you. You aren't to blame. I won't think you or him are. I think you deserve compassion rather than such harsh feelings about this.

@LenaForever I just wish things were normal again, sleeping and waking up has been awfully painful lately. I miss and still want him back even though he doesn’t feel the same. I miss the person I was before I met him

@vasxs I don’t want to risk another heartbreak and my mind can’t let him go. It’s still so recent and all the promises he made in the summer feel like I was just manipulated by him into thinking we had something special and that I was different from the other women he was with in the past. I can’t see myself with anyone but him.