My pain will last forever

My friend i dont have ocd my thoughts isn’t ocd thoughts its thoughts of a devil!

@peterateff Today i know my friends father have cancer when i see him today in the street i said in my brain here he is the man with cancer!!! As if I’m making a joke or I miss respect himn!!! Whyy orrr howww!!!

@peterateff No no no. That kind of thought you had about your friend’s father is actually not at all uncommon in unfortunate situations. Sometimes people use humor to deal with sad situations , or it could just be that you do not want to think these things , and because you put pressure on yourself not to , the thought pops up into your head. Thoughts are just thoughts , just because you have a weird or interesting thought does not mean you like it or identify with it. Also , sometimes thoughts just pop out of NOWHERE , completely OUT OF YOUR CONTROL ! It can be automatic because you have anxiety.

@xiiiandreww I wish my friend that it’s like this and all of these doesn’t mean a thing about me Thankyou so much❤️

You read my story?

@peterateff Yeah,God knows what you're thinking right now,he knows what you've done,bro if you were too much of a sinner God would have just made you disappear into hell,but he's made you wake up each of those days that you've not been feeling guilty, even those that you have,shows he still minds and provides for you day to day and he's giving you time to reconcile with your past and go to him,I'm sure you don't know what to do m,you've tried a lot of stuff but they haven't worked,this is just to show you that you're in a spot where you can't help yourself,God can move mountains,he can ressurect people,he can do whatever you think can't be done,if it's in the universe God can do it,just believe buddy,believe,just the tiniest drop of it will do wonders

Thank you❤️

Peter , you have to understand that the reason why you had intrusive thoughts about God , the martyrs of the church , family members , is because these are the people you LOVE and CARE about !! Unfortunately OCD targets anything you love , it’s called the forbidden fruit effect. For example , let’s say I told you not to think of a purple elephant. You have to think of a purple elephant when you try NOT to think about it. The fact that you are upset , scared , and hurting because of these thoughts tells me they are egodystonic , which means you DO NOT identify with them. You clearly have a big heart , don’t let your intrusive thoughts get in the way of that reality. Your past is your past and as a young person , your brain isn’t fully developed so you experiment and explore yourself and others when you’re young. That is NOT uncommon at all and it does NOT make you a bad person. There’s actually a phrase for things like that , it’s called playing doctor. You will be okay bud ??❤️ I’m here for you always

@xiiiandreww Thank you but I’m not bothered by yhem i have no pleasure in them but felt no guilt ..I can’t forgive myself fot making these things inside the church!!!!!!! All people around me wont forgive me and they’re soo beautiful people who will hate me and stop loving me if they know i wosh i was like them and I wish they know me as i am they know another person and i’m lying to them they are like angels and I’m a devil between them and they don’t know I’m comparing myself to them and i lose

@peterateff The thing is , you won’t always feel a sense of guilt ! Just because we have a conscience doesn’t mean it goes off for absolutely everything. I don’t think God designed for our conscience to constantly go off , so you not feeling guilty is okay. Clearly you regret it now , which is what matters. Your previous mental state has changed so there’s no need to focus on the past one !! Don’t compare yourself to them , I guarantee you they aren’t perfect. Everyone has fallen short of God , no matter what sins they’ve committed. Try to accept that you don’t know what they’ve done , but that it doesn’t matter what they did compared to what you did , and that what matters is that you care now and have grown.

@xiiiandreww I don’t care know I just wish to be a good guy but i feel nothing

@peterateff Do you see me as all people and not below them in anything please answer truthfully

@peterateff Feeling nothing will not last forever ... what makes you think it will bro ? Life changes and hope is possible , and even great people feel nothing at times. You can be a great person even when you feel nothing. The want to feel something and get better and be a good person is what matters , which you have !

@xiiiandreww Thats really helped❤️❤️...should i make friends if good people and love a good girl without telling them..I can’t do this because i feel that I don’t deserve and I’m below them

@peterateff I don’t see you below anyone at all man !! Not even a little bit. I see you as a really strong person with morals and a desire to be the best you can be , that’s golden bro. You have more morals than many people nowadays , you should be proud. And you’re always really respectful and appreciative of everyone on this app too !

@peterateff You definitely don’t have to tell them if you don’t want to ! I don’t think you need to because what you did doesn’t have any effect on them now or who you are now. Definitely make friends man you deserve them , you’re a great guy ?

@xiiiandreww Thanks make me soo happy thank you sooo much my dear friend you are awesome man❤️❤️❤️

@peterateff Always here to help bro I’m glad I can be here for you‼️?

Listen brother , I know how you feel , but how you feel right now does NOT dictate how you will feel later. How can you say that things will be this way forever ? Things can change. When you change your thought process and just call OCD a brain problem , it loses its scariness as you keep on doing it. It can change the shape of your brain and it could help you be far less anxious ! Trust me there is hope. Do you have Instagram ?? We can talk on there !

@xiiiandreww No i have whatssapp

@peterateff Thank you for this support

If you feel comfortable enough tell her,and let her know that that's in the past and you'll never go back to that person,if you see she can't handle it don't bro since you'll lose her