i cant do this anymore im really tired, i cant keep up with all of these thoughts and all of these themes im just tired and i wish i could choose not to care but some of these things are bothersome to my heart so i cant just ignore it idk im so tired. im seeing my psychiatrist tomorrow to get medicine so thatll be great but still these worries are very real worries and i have absolutely no clue how to address them
I’m sorry that you’re going through this. Know that you’re not alone and you’re heard, seen, and understood. Don’t give up. I hope you feel better.
@CC.090715 thank you!!! ❤️ this helped a lot, the reminder that i am understood and not alone was something i needed to remember
@vaIentine I’m glad it helped! 🤍
I'm sorry you're going through this. I've been there and it's horrible. Just wondering, in addition to meds, does your psychiatrist treat you with OCD therapy that includes ERP therapy? If not, you may want to add a trained OCD therapist who uses ERP therapy in his/her treatment. Meds can help a lot, but without a trained OCD coach they're no panacea. No, I'm not a trained therapist, just someone who's been where you are. I didn't see serious improvement until I began seeing a therapist specially trained in OCD therapy, using ERP, the gold standard for OCD therapy. It made all the difference. Hope this helps.
@Steven55! no, i haven’t gotten an OCD therapist BUT this is in the to do list! just trying to manage insurance and all, but for now medication is what i have to help the anxiety atleast
@vaIentine - You can find a really good one through NOCD. Contact them for a free consultation. Hope this helps.
@Steven55! i tried NOCD but they don’t take my insurance; but all is well, my psychiatrist and therapist are working together to introduce ERP into my treatment as they are familiar with OCD treatment
just want to bawl my eyes out
I feel you 100%. My ocd has been crazy these past couple months and makes me feel insane and it’s genuinely exhausting.
@oliviacjj exactly how i feel; definitely getting exhausted now. hope things start looking up for you ❤️
I’m right there with you.
@hopefulxmess hoping things get easier for you ❤️
Sorry you are going thru this. I was like this week's ago and was actually suicidal. I feel better now and so can you! Don't give up!
@Speckles thank you, i’m trying to keep hope, i think i can get through this, just gets hard to see clearly sometimes
@vaIentine I know it's hard. You will get thru this tho
Meds and supplements combined with ERP therapy have been life saving (literally) for me. You are not alone and it does get better.❤️
@Slicey thank you so much ❤️ i have hope, just gets hard to not get caught up in everything
@vaIentine Magnesium is super helpful for anxiety (in addition to meds) - highly recommend!
You are not alone. I am right there with you. I admire your bravery for posting; it’s kick-ass. Sending love.
@TheMoonAndSun thank you!!!! this means a lot
Sending love, you’re a strong person
@User234555444 thank you ❤️ right back at you!! stay strong
from the moment i wake up to the time i fall back asleep, my thoughts will not go a second without thinking about the same few topics. every second of every day for the past year i cannot stop thinking about my boyfriend. and no, not like "la dee da he's so cute!" no. it's the same thoughts of debating my feelings for him, convincing myself that im a lesbian but won't admit it to myself, convincing myself that i don't actually love him i just love the idea of a relationship with him. im disgusted with him but im passing it off as just i dont like that single flaw and thats fine. i can't stop. it's a broken record. my head is just a broken record. and for MULTIPLE YEARS pretty much since my ADHD diagnosis in middle school (i'm graduating this year) i haven't stopped thinking about mental health. relating every single thing in my life to the fact im neurodivergent. asking myself over and over if a thought i had or an action i made means im this personality, i have this mental disorder, because i have this traumatic memory that's influencing my choice. all day, every day, every second, multiple years. these thoughts are just constantly in my head. i want it to stop. i'm so tired of it. so absolutely exhausted. it's not even the compulsions or the anxiety, i just want the thoughts to end. all i could ask for, the thing i would give the world for, is to go a day without obsessively thinking these thoughts. to be able to experience a trigger but not be triggered. to be able to kiss my boyfriend goodbye and have my head move on to another topic for thought completely. to be able to hear a mental health topic be mentioned and not have the urge to explain every aspect of that topic, nor think about it for hours on end. be able to see random people on the street and accidentally make eye contact with them but not have to obsessively think of what their life is like, what they think of me, that they know i'm obsessively thinking about them and they hate me for that. i want to be able to see my ex friend around school whom im upset at the way things ended but not obsessively think about her and be disgusted and scared about those thoughts and her every move. i sound like a freak, i sound like i belong in a straitjacket, i know. i hate it too. so fucking much. i'm freaked out by myself, i know that if i were to share these thoughts at a podium i would be reported on the news and likely arrested because everyone around is terrified and will assume i will ever act. but i just want this to stop. i'm so desperately waiting for my next doctors appointment to ask for an up dose on my lexapro.
these days im feeling so bad, I can’t take it anymore, I have thoughts and images I don’t like that just won’t leave me, I feel so heavy, I want to bump my head into a wall until I pass out so I can have a break, I want my brain ti stop working and leave me alone, I can’t exist like this, I’m constantly thinking about this stuff and feeling disturbed, it just won’t leave, what do I do? sorry if this is written so badly but I really need to vent
I'm really frustrated right now because once again I feel like I can't keep up with my own brain and I just can't keep doing this. I'm so tired of doing this. My head is always going and going and going and I just want to unplug it. It makes me so stressed. It's like I have someone else in my head who won't shut up and is always pointing everything I do out. Like I'm walking on eggshells around myself so I don't trigger these thoughts. But if I walk on egg shells then it just goes on about something else and I feel like I'm going crazy.. I feel so bad because it makes me so snappy. I want to bash my head in because I'm so over it. The only thing I know that helps is anxiety meds, because I had one one time and it actually really helped me (it didn't even do it's job! Because of how bad my anxiety is!! I'm just so desperate at this point for relief) But the last time I brought up going on meds for anxiety with my mom she said I'll get addicted, like my dad, or my grandma, or whoever else in my family because everyone in my family is addicted to SOMETHING. I don't see the issue in trying though. I feel like I'm someone who could really benefit from anxiety meds. I don't talk about my feelings often BECAUSE of anxiety, so it seems like I'm just trying to go on meds for no reason. But it's like..my body hurts. All the time. And my brain never stops. My brain is so messed up. I feel like I could do so much more if I wasn't like this. It's never going away, I've tried and I've tried and I'm still a mess. I just want it to stop. I'm not asking for much. I just want the fear to stop and the intrusive thoughts to stop and the racing thoughts and the feelings of doom and the nervousness and and I actually want to feel okay in my own skin for fucking once. I've tried everything nothing works im losing patience and I'm losing hope. I feel like there's something wrong with me. I feel like my brain is broken and that makes me sad to be honest. I feel like everyone around me can work. Why can't my stupid brain work???? I try so hard. I try so hard all the time. And it still doesn't do what it needs to do. I hate myself so much.
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