Watch out for caffeine. It can cause the jitters!

Lol!

I need to limit myself bc I feel wired after eating too

I can see why!! I'm ready to jump out of my skin

@Speckles Yes! Drink a lot of water. Sometimes that helped me flush it out. As well as eating like hanysm said.

@Catlove9 Yeah, thanks....I am

@Catlove9 How are you feeling today?

@Speckles Still struggling but working. And I’m trying to not engage with the thoughts or feelings. I think I’ve finally noticed that even though I haven’t been avoiding things, my mind still ruminates and analyzes. So I am really trying to stop that. It’s really hard because I have an analytical brain as it is but I think that’s what is keeping me stuck. How are you?

And I've considered meditating after caffeine too

And caffeine can even be a bit of an exposure event, testing our reactions to increased anxiety

Thanks I do half caffeine, but should limit my cups

Shakey Sharkey.... LOL... Good morning 🌅

@hanysm@gmail.com Good morning! I had to eat to soak up the coffee

@hanysm@gmail.com I had no idea! Thanks for that piece of information!

@Speckles That’s good! I also don’t drink alcohol. Not sure if you do the same. I thought it would help me more. But I don’t miss the day after.

@Catlove9 I still do, but should probably limit that

@Catlove9 How are you today? I hope a bit better

@Speckles I was doing better. And then I had a random panic attack and it made everything go backwards again. The panic attack made the thoughts feel more real 😭. How are you?

@Catlove9 Oh sorry. I hate them! I'm pretty good so far

@Speckles That’s awesome! I hope to get there soon.

@Catlove9 You will!! ♥

@Speckles I’m really trying not to engage in the thoughts. But it’s so hard. Especially when they are scary.

@Catlove9 I know....I hate when they scare you so much. It's like living in a nightmare

@Speckles How can I not engage when it’s that scary? And feels so real?

@Catlove9 I know.... can you just keep telling yourself it's fake and not real. I know it's hard tho.

@Speckles Have any of the thoughts been about your cats. I had it and was devastating

@Catlove9 I sent this to myself by mistake. Have any of the thoughts been about your cats? I had it and it hurt me so much

@Speckles Yup. Definitely. It’s horrifying. And then it gets to a point I get so scared where it feels like I want to do it and then I get more scared 😔

@Catlove9 Ugh....I know. I try not to think of it when I'm cutting up food. But sometimes I'll be like I have the knife and what if I snapped

@Speckles That’s exactly how it is. I don’t want these thoughts or feelings anymore. I’m so exhausted.

@Catlove9 It's so draining. I know you don't want them and you know too. I hate when they say sit with it. It's hard to do that, but I guess it makes it easier

@Speckles It’s what I’m trying to do but I feel like they are hitting me harder now.

@Catlove9 Hmmm... under more stress?

@Speckles Yes. I left my old company in July and haven’t liked my new job. So now my old company wants me back and I’m in the process of getting cleared and stuff.

@Catlove9 Are you going back then? Stress can make ocd a lot worse

@Speckles I am going back. And I’m so happy. And whenever anything good happens to me, I get super anxious bc I am worried it will get ruined

@Catlove9 Same here!! I get it!

@Catlove9 It'll be fine. Happy for you!!

@Speckles Thank you! Of course I always worry about background checks. Like what if someone stole my identity and committed a crime. My brain goes to every possible scenario

@Catlove9 Darn OCD!!

@Speckles Hahaha I know! Any luck on getting a kitty?

@Catlove9 In the New Year. If it was up to me I'd get one now!!

@Speckles I am so excited for you! That will be here before you know it

@Catlove9 I know! I can't wait! It's lonely without a pet

@Speckles Do you have any kids? I do not. I just live with my boyfriend, our 5 cats and puppy

@Catlove9 No kids... we just had 3 cats that have all passed. 5 cats and a puppy! Full house

@Speckles It is! It’s so much work hahaha but I love them all.

@Speckles I’m a cat person so wasn’t sure about the puppy but I love him.

@Catlove9 It must be a lot of work, but a labor of love!!

@Speckles It is! And they all are cuddly which I love.

@Catlove9 I love that! What's your puppy? Breed or mutt? Ha!

@Catlove9 So glad you are going back to your old job!!

@Speckles So we rescued the puppy from a shelter. They said he was a Beagle but I thought for sure he was a mix. Well sure enough, I had his DNA tested and he’s 100% Beagle. I am SO excited to get back to my old job. It cannot come soon enough.

@Catlove9 So happy for you!!

@Speckles Thank you ☺️