How do you successfully deal with other beliefs?

Basically, yes. Any kind of personal, interpersonal constructs and so on. I feel like I'm having to live two lives and I'm having trouble navigating it right now. One outside of their system and then one in.. But when I interact it makes me feel like I'm getting sucked in and it feels claustrophobic

@Wolfram Here is an example first hand in USA 🇺🇸, major election for president was decided here . I will choose my words carefully here , very heated topic no matter who a person supported . So to navigate these potentially difficult interactions I show mutual respect to each side , I carefully refrain from mentioning who I voted for and say nothing disrespectful of either person. I feel it is personal don’t need to create more drama and discord of who I supported . When we vote in USA you cover your ballot with a privacy paper before submitting it . People whether pro or con after this election have been killed just over supporting one person over another.

@777Q Thanks for your insight as always. That's absolutely insane that people have killed over that 😱🤯

@Wolfram Here is a somewhat lighter example. I like MLB that is the professional baseball league in 🇺🇸 USA . Now to express a different team preference in a sporting event. Let’s say I am supporting the away team at the other team stadium I might wear my shirt of my team there but realizing I am a guest there and not my home stadium, so common sense be respectful don’t trash the other team also if there is much alcohol being consumed by people being aware of that , knowing that could set off some people between routing for the other team and the 🥃 booze , trying to avoid a potential unnecessary physical confrontation .

@777Q Hello my two favorite people on NOCD. How have you been? 777Q, you are kidding, aren't you? I might be naive, but I still hope you will say you are kidding. What kind of democracy is that? How is America better than Russia? If a person can get killed just for doing what they are expected to do as a citizen, but have no free will to decide whom to support, how is that different from Russia, not even Russia today, from Russia 30 and more years ago? I am not criticizing. I am just shocked and am expressing my dismay and disbelief. I believe you. I just wish it didn't exist. Wow. So people like Spreengsteen, Baldwin,.... and many others get away with it just because they are famous? It is so terribly sad. Wolfram, I have been dealing with the feeling that I am a two people in one and it doesn't make me either happy nor proud of myself. I am not being a hypocrite on purpose. I have just been noticing over and over again, that when I am at home, I am the person I know me to be, I am the real me. I have my feelings, my beliefs, my morals, my thoughts and I can express them freely and openly. And I don't feel bad for who I am and what I stand for. I truly wish from the bottom of my heart to be like that with other people as well. I have no idea what the heck happens to me when I am with other people face to face. I turn into this mixture of Mary Poppins and Mother Teresa. I feel I am expected to do or be so by other people. I hate it. No matter how I am feeling, no matter if something bothers me, no matter if I disagree with a person, I am always nice, kind, supportive, with a smile on my face and empathy in my heart for others. Ok. I do feel all of that. I genuinely care for other people and want to help them be happy, but why in heaven's name can't I do that for myself as well?! I have been an ethical vegan for years now. People who know that I love animals way more than people and would do absolutely anything in my power to help, protect and save them, talk about meat, hunting, killing end exploiting animals like it was a joke, something to laugh about and even make fun of my feelings and morals. They honestly think they are funny and smart and more intelligent than me. And except in extreme situations, when someone is actually harming an animal and I just explode, I keep quiet, I swallow my hurt and my stepped all over pride and let them think they are better and smarter than me. Is that because I am afraid if I expressed my true self, they would not like me? This is what really pisses me off (pardon my French). I am aware that although I am being super kind to them, always there for their problems, their personal therapist, slave, they do not care for me, do not respect me, never give a damn about me. They think of me only when they need sth from me. I am their doormat. So why the heck can't I just be me me?! Tomorrow I am having a very important meeting with a doctor of mine. There are a few things I have been planning for months to discus with them. Really super important things to me. I need to do that for myself. For a few days now I have been very agitated, very anxious. Why? I am angry at myself, because I know tomorrow when I need to be firm and clear and express my wishes, there is quite strong probability I will be all quiet again, all kind, talk about general unimportant things and not mention what I so much want and need to to respect myself. I am scared, I might go home tomorrow totally disappointed in myself. I am so scared I will chicken out. What is wrong with me? I am so scared I won't be heard or understood, that I deprive myself of a chance of succeeding at something by being too big of a coward to even try. I am not asking for anything I don't have the right to ask for. People I know wouldn't think twice, they would just straight demand it. Tomorrow when they ask me how have I been, I will chicken out and start talking about general unimportant crap in my life and will say nothing about what matters. There will be a war going on inside me, any yet like a true master of disguise, I will succeed to fully hide my emotions. They ask me how I feel? What's the point of going there if I can't open up and let them see my true me. My true feelings, opinions,... They might think badly of me. They might not like me. They might not see the things my way? They might talk about me with other people and criticize me. So what?!?! Ughhh. We'll, I think this is the first point in this post of mine that I have truly exhaled. It might not be what you were talking about, dear Wolfram, I guess I truly needed to get this anxiety out of me. I haven't slept a wink last night worrying. I am already anxious how I'll sleep tonight. Almost time to go to bed. I probably seem quite selfish to you. I turned your post into all about me. I apologize. Hope you get some more advice or just descriptions of how other people deal with the problem of being two different people in different situations. Wish you all the best. I think I will soon go and do some mindfulness exercises and breathing exercises. I think I am forgetting to breath in and out properly because of fear I might disappoint myself tomorrow. If you answer me, and I don't respond right away, I apologize in advance. I will be here for a short time longer, and then I will turn everything off and just meditate in hope I will manage to fall asleep tonight. But your responses will make me super happy and I will get back to you if not immediately, tomorrow morning. Have a lovely evening, both of you.

@NODA You have been very missed ? Sad to say several verified accounts of people being harmed or killed regarding the election. One person I will leave out who they supported. I will just say a female killed her father in his 60s over the election.

@NODA Hey 🤗 It's OK to vent if you need to. We all do it. I think a lot of the frustrations we have both mentioned are around expectations. Expectations of ourselves, others, and others' of us. With the questioning why you can't do something, maybe try something that has worked for me recently. Talk about/ to yourself in 3rd person. I find it easier to give advice to, and receive advice from others. This was my little mind hack I've been trying to practice and it has good results so far. Rest well and whatever happens tomorrow, know that you have choice.

@777Q Hello. 👋😊. Thank you for welcoming me back. A very nice feeling. Thank you. I don't want to sound pretentious or disrespectful, but sometimes life is just wasted on some people. If a person is willing to kill another human being because whom they support in an election, then they really do not now what is and isn't important in life. For me, this is a life wasted, not just that, sadly they decide on other peoples' destinies. Scary. Thank you for asking about my feline babies. 😻. They are just great. They brighten up my day every day. Sometimes when I kind of decide I don't have the energy not to feel down and dissatisfied with myself, they always find a way to make me smile. I give them my all, they give me back so much more. How is your feline baby? On your mind constantly, right? 😁. In my next post, my answer to Wolfram in a few minutes, I will let you both know how it went today at the doctors. Thank you both so much for your kindness and support. I was so nervous this morning, I could hardly breath, so I decided to get back to you after the meeting, but I did see your replies to me and they lifted me up and made me more confident. Thank you. Biiiiiig hug. My babies send a big heartwarming hello and hug to you and your cat baby. 😻🤗😸

@Wolfram Dear Wolfram. Hello to the UK. Thank you for your reply. I just wasn't able to think about anything else last night and this morning than how I would definitely disappoint myself - again, so my levels of dissatisfaction with myself and the accompanying anxiety just reached their peaks and I decided to answer you after everything is behind me. I can't tell you how much your support and 777Q 's wittily distracting me by asking me about my kitties and thus taking my focus away from the thing that was causing anxiety to the "thing" I love the most, gave me wings and lifted my self-esteem. I actually did try the method you suggested. Instead of preaching to myself directly, which never really works, I talked to myself the way I talk to other people and in the third person. Did it work? Dear Wolfram, I did not get anything I wanted, but I DID FIND THE CONFIDENCE TO ASK FOR IT and didn't just say I was fine and smiled. I stated my case and asked for what I wanted and felt I deserved. I am quite proud of myself. I didn't let myself down. I am disappointed by my doctor, that I can't do anything about. But I feel I have grown up a bit today. One of the things I asked him was to lift my dosage od sertraline from the maximum recommended 200 mg to a bit higher and he refused. I have read researches by American psychiatrists and scientists on how very effective higher dosages can be without the rise of the side effects. I was willing to send him the papers, the reports. He showed no interest. Instead he told me about the risk of serotonin syndrome, which I had already known and prescribed another medication to supplement Zoloft instead. That one I am very reluctant to take. I took it twice before to help me sleep and I had to fight to wake up and stay awake the following day. A nightmare. I winter months my anxiety worsens. I am afraid of seeing the triggers of my obsessions every day. During the summer months I just didn't think about what if, I didn't care. Now, even a day or two before going out to a certain public place, I feel that tension inside me that suffocates. What if...?! Well, Zoloft has improved the quality of my life incredibly much, but I just need a bit more of it to get ocd under control. And I have been denied even a chance to give it a try. He would have to monitor me and check my blood levels a bit more seriously, he just isn't willing to try. I am not a big fan of pills= meds in general. But when I do take some that I really need, I want to do it properly, not just half the way through. In any case I am now OK. I am breathing more easily now. I am quite happy with myself today. And you are right. It is all connected with expectations. I realised that today. I was scared how me not meeting my expectations about my behavior would affect me and even more so how badly I would feel if he disappointed me. My doctor. Well, 50-50. More like 60-40%. The 60% I won by being a genuine me and risking he might not like me anymore if I don't say everything is just dandy and smile. Well, his reaction was as I had feared, but at least I showed some spine and stood up for myself. And that in itself is a true miracle. How are you today? What is new in your life? Sending you a big smile to share and a big hug. Thank you for being there for me. I appreciate it a lot. Have a great evening. 🤗😊

@NODA My little cat 🐱 is hanging in there she is 13 , 68 in human years . I wish I had pet insurance for her , she is healthy but the veterinary care very expensive. She racked up a 400.00 bill at the doctor, just routine stuff, large amount though was blood tests , her doctor suggested due to her age . She is earning her keep though she has captured 3 small lizards this month that had slipped into the house with the little cooler weather. So it is like I am paying my cat 🐈 more than 133.00 for each captured lizard 🦎 to pay her doctor bill, LOL !😂

@777Q Wow! 🤣😁😂😂😁😁. Thanks for making me laugh. Two of my cats are 11, one is 8. I would give anything to have them in my life for at least 10 more years. Yeah, vet bills are super expensive everywhere. Sadly, I didn't even know there was a possibility to get an insurance for your pets when they were young. Now nobody wants to insure them anymore. Let's just hope they stay as healthy and well as possible. They are lucky to have us, and we are even luckier to have them. 😸

Their individual perception of reality and the shared ones society pushes on us