Existential OCD Bit of a rant... Are the majority of people unaware of how meaningless their lives actually are or are they aware but think fuck it and carry on? Example; Saving up to go on holiday Brain "why would i want to go on holiday? You're going to work all year, to go to a warmer part of the world for 1 week and lie around sun bathing, maybe get drunk a few days and fly home?" .... As much as i don't want to look at it that way, its true. I look at it right at its core, what it truly is. I can do the same with life... My brain - "whats the point in working all year, every year to go on a few holidays (warmer parts of the world) in my life, have some good times to die, like whats the point in that?" And im baffled because its true. I'd literally go on holiday to see some pointless monument or get drunk like i could anywhere, eat food i could get anywhere (nowadays) Am i supposed to try and stick my head in the sand and pretend its not a thing or do people just accept it and get over it and live their life knowing its quite meaningless. Its just so annoying that i question 'why' am I actually doing this. Does everybody ask themselves these questions? I can't believe its took me to get to my late 20s to realise this. Its like BAMMM everything you've ever thought was cool or fun actually has no meaning to it. How do people continue to do their daily lives, care free without feeling what they're doing is pointless? I suppose i have a few options; 1. Its true but accept it and get over it. (Currently trying) 2. Freak out forever about it and become depressed 3. Freak out and try and find purpose desperately before realising there is 99.9999% no point in my life (tried) 4. Other..? Anyway, ye any thoughts would be appreciated ??‍♂️?? Cheers.

Hello, I am a young girl struggling with OCD, specifically existential related OCD. I feel constantly like my life is pointless, like my goals aren’t significant, because, I’m just going to be forgotten and die. What is the point? I don’t want to get old and not be able to do what I love. Sometimes I wonder if not existing would be easier, but I don’t want to die yet. It’s really confusing, and I’d love some tips I could get for motivation. I really want to be spiritual, but I struggle in believing in stuff so…?

I haven't been officially diagnosed with OCD but when I learned more about it, I never related to anything more. A little back story: when I was younger, there were a couple of youth suicides in my area and the schools felt the need to have someone come in and talk about suicide. Well the person they had come in did a horrible job teaching it and basically made it seem like the smallest negative emotion or feeling or change in behavior made you suicidal. This ended up scaring me so much that I got horrid anxiety. Fast forward to now, Everytime I feel anxiety and panic, I fear I'm going to kill myself. Everytime I feel down and depressed, I fear I'll end it all. I'm scared to be around anything sharp because the "What if" I hurt myself comes into my mind. There are always intrusive thoughts at almost every point of the day. And it's not only for me. Everytime I hear someone being negative, I fear they will be suicidal. I know in my heart that none of this is true but it's terrifying me that it's stuck around so much that it makes me scared that maybe it is true. I've had a lot of death in my family in the past year and a half and a lot of other family drama that I'd never had before that is now also bringing up existential intrusive thoughts. And I'd never questioned anything about life before but now I get the "why is life like this?" and "does anything we do matter?" and I hate it. I don't want to think like that. I just want to go through life being able to handle things normally again. It terrifies me even right now going "what if you give up?"

Really bad theme right now is death, I keep thinking about how one day or at any moment my heart will stop my brain will stop & my memories & everything I know will all fade away. It is giving me so much anxiety I’m only 18, but I realize it all happens to us it is bound, we are born to die. I know it’s a silly thing to be scared because it’s not helping the quality of my life worrying about it and even when I do die, I won’t care , if you don’t have a working brain then how can you care 🤷‍♀️. It is tainting my everyday life currently & honestly making me terribly depressed & it is giving me derealization & making me feel nihilistic, I’ll remind myself it’s okay but then with my ocd i don’t stop thinking and thinking about it and it’s seriously so hard to stay present in the moment because this thought just feels like I can’t scrub it away it’s miserable I struggle with religion, but I do pray to anything that’s out there possibly listening, because it is comforting, it just feels like this whole experience Is pointless & I am afraid of the unknown and what is to possibly happen but I’m subjected to it anyways so why should it matter