I was fine for a few months and I feel my HARMOCD is coming back. It’s still the targeted thought to “kill mom” it’s bringing me alot of anxiety and it’s the only thought that is still around. What do I do?
My brain has repeated many things. Things that give me terrible anxiety and some that still persist. Do not try to calm yourself down from the thought. Unless it really feels completely unbearable and it’s urgent then yes do a technique. Desensitizing yourself to your thoughts does not work right away. The goal is to to be able to sit with the thoughts without immense anxiety. Not to get rid of them. Once your brain gets bored then they can go away. But again that’s not the goal. I know this is scary and I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. I understand about money being tight, maybe look into grants or financial aid for erp.
Use ice on your chest and neck... Breathe.. do 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique... If still feeling in danger, call for help
@hanysm@gmail.com Call for help? For what?
Are you in OCD therapy with a trained OCD therapists who uses ERP therapy?
@Steven55! No moneys tight
Be mindful that OCD attaches itself to who and what you value and what you fear. You can also be enjoying yourself and it will try to find a way to screw up your day.
It’s perfectly normal to have a thought like “kill your mom”. The problem is not with having the thought but with the meaning you attach to it. This means do everything you can not to answer the questions that come up after the thought such as “do I want to kill her?” “What if I lose control?” Am I a bad person for having these thoughts?”trying to answer these questions would be you doing a compulsion and will only make things worse and keep the initial intrusive thoughts stronger. Think of this as a math problem like 82x67, it would take you mental effort to try and figure this out, but you can choose whether you do it. Your ocds questions are the same except without an actual answer so don’t put in the effort to figure it out
i am convinced im a psycho killer. everytime im around my mom or sister i get these intense thoughts of stabbing or hurting them. when they’re not around its not as intense but its still there. its literally on my mind 24/7. im so tense 24/7. were currently looking for a puppy for the family and when me and my sister were playing with them today the thought was still there. nothing distracts me from it. video games and EVERYTHING else doesn’t work. im starting to feel like i WANT to do these things. i was never like this until i had a marijuana induced panic attack in january. i feel like something happened to my brain and its not just ocd anymore. i dont even know if im faking it. i have suffered from relationship ocd, pedophile ocd, and health ocd. i got over those relatively quickly. this new theme came out of nowhere after a panic attack on a plane coming home from a horror convention in february. i dont see a way out of this one. its been months. i try to let them sit and i get a panic attack. all i do everyday is cry. i feel like my life is over. i talk to a therapist and i have tried two medications that didnf work work. i dont know how to live like this. im afraid im gonna lose my relationship and im afraid im gonna lose my whole life ahead of me. im just 22. i just want the old me back.
i haven’t been diagnosed with ocd but I have anxiety about harming other people/family members and it’s like urges and im scared I actually want to do it? I don’t think I’ve ever been violent as a kid (im 21 now) and the intrusive thoughts don’t go away so im just stuck all day everyday for the past few weeks just thinking and being scared about it and im having all these weird emotions like being irritated and angry I don’t want to hurt people I don’t think idk why my mind is making me think I do I’ve had intrusive thoughts before that I could brush away sure it took like a day or two but this one is different it doesn’t go away and leaves me with the worst fear imaginable and nothing I look up that should be giving me relief is giving me relief + I feel like im not in control of my body and that im just gonna lose it and act on these thoughts it’s just all on a loop and im not sure how im supposed to live the rest of my life when im in constant fear of my self
I dont know whats going on. I dont know if its OCD anymore. I know it was in the beginning. Ive been through a lot of trauma and had one little scary thought of killing my sister 4 months ago that has blossomed into this giant idea of me being a serial killer and wanting to hurt everyone (I never had any social issues growing up but I have had some trauma). Recently I’ve been having urges to just give in. And my mental images have been horrible and I can’t stop checking if I like them or not. I think I’ve convinced myself I have. This morning I woke up a shaking mess with an urge to unalive my family and when my mom left for work I was alone with my sister and couldnt stop vomiting uncontrollably. I dont know if i’m upset because I cant hurt anyone and I want to, or if I’m scared and just want my old life back. I was an avid horror and gore lover and now I’m convinced I want to do the things I’ve seen in the movies. Someone please help. I’m ready to check into the psych ward.
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