Need help

My brain has repeated many things. Things that give me terrible anxiety and some that still persist. Do not try to calm yourself down from the thought. Unless it really feels completely unbearable and it’s urgent then yes do a technique. Desensitizing yourself to your thoughts does not work right away. The goal is to to be able to sit with the thoughts without immense anxiety. Not to get rid of them. Once your brain gets bored then they can go away. But again that’s not the goal. I know this is scary and I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. I understand about money being tight, maybe look into grants or financial aid for erp.

Use ice on your chest and neck... Breathe.. do 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique... If still feeling in danger, call for help

Are you in OCD therapy with a trained OCD therapists who uses ERP therapy?

Be mindful that OCD attaches itself to who and what you value and what you fear. You can also be enjoying yourself and it will try to find a way to screw up your day.

It’s perfectly normal to have a thought like “kill your mom”. The problem is not with having the thought but with the meaning you attach to it. This means do everything you can not to answer the questions that come up after the thought such as “do I want to kill her?” “What if I lose control?” Am I a bad person for having these thoughts?”trying to answer these questions would be you doing a compulsion and will only make things worse and keep the initial intrusive thoughts stronger. Think of this as a math problem like 82x67, it would take you mental effort to try and figure this out, but you can choose whether you do it. Your ocds questions are the same except without an actual answer so don’t put in the effort to figure it out