Exposures for certain bedtime rituals

I’m so exhausted. I have been dealing with OCD since a child. I’ve gone through NOCD, it worked for the time being but long term didn’t keep up with exposures and I’m having a really difficult time with these particular ones before bed. I struggle with sleep and have for a long time due to anxiety and especially OCD rituals that keep me up for hours. This is what I do: -I have to pee multiple times before bed because I have to have a “perfectly” empty bladder or else I am worried about feeling discomfort or having to wake up in the night. -I am also move my pillow and hips in a “perfect symmetrical” position so that I can achieve perfect comfort, but this ends up being me moving to this position probably 20+ times because it makes me anxious if I don’t. -if I touch anything “dirty” or go to the bathroom every time I have to wash my hands or I experience extreme guilt. So this means after I pee the 5 times before bed I have to wash my hands 5 times. It’s gotten to the point to if I don’t do these things I will probably have a panic attack. And I’m so tired during the rituals that I just want to go to bed so I just give in to them. Please help.

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 38w

You need to get free from this! It’s killing your slowly. And you can get free. Let’s talk more about it. It sounds like you are familiar with how ERP works, but stopped practicing it? It’s time to practice again. Every part of your bedtime ritual is a compulsion. Every single step is a compulsion. It’s time to deny those compulsions. Even if it causes you extreme anxiety, you have to sit through that anxiety in order to get better. The anxiety will lessen over time. Defeating OCD takes COURAGE. You are not going to FEEL safe. You are going to feel very unsafe. You will never have complete certainty that everything will be okay. You have to step out anyway even if you don’t know it’s okay. We are here to support you!

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 38w

Am I supposed to just sit with the panic attacks? I feel like the only way to do that is to literally strap myself down. It’s torturous.

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 38w

@Anonymous You might need support. And you can always make progress by taking small steps. Maybe you can start with going to the bathroom one less time. Or maybe you can start by delaying going to the bathroom for an hour and sitting with that anxiety. Then try to delay for two hours, and sit with that anxiety. You can go to the bathroom after that, but try to put it off for a while. Or maybe you do all the rituals, except if you touch something dirty, you refuse to wash your hands. Then you sit with the anxiety of that. You can work your way up until you take care of all the different compulsions. It will take time, and it will be hard. Having support would really be useful in the situation. But you can do this!!!

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 38w

@Tea and Honey More support meaning medication? I’m terrified of it. But I think it might be needed. Idk what to do. Thank you.

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 38w

@Anonymous I think medication will help. It helps me significantly. :):) I really mean by having a therapist or friend who understands the situation who can help you with ERP here. Then you won’t feel alone

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 38w

I have found Nathan Peterson’s videos to be awesome! He has many of them of different topics. You might check out his videos https://youtu.be/3vy6-bveenQ?si=MurQBLRfhj1DcMW9

dollar

Date posted: 16w

I can't control the intrusive thoughts that come to me every time I go to sleep

English is my second language,so please bear with me if there are any shortcomings. My OCD is manifested in the need to go to the bathroom before going to bed every time, but after each urination, I worry that I will have to go to the bathroom again because I feel that I seem haven't finished. This will affect my sleep by repeatedly entering and exiting the bathroom. It takes me more than half an hour to go to the bathroom before going to bed every time, and I have to fight with myself to tell myself that I have finished and don't have any more urine, so I can sleep peacefully. However, it takes countless times to comfort myself.I tried to quickly finish urinating and then immediately step out of the bathroom, but every time I had the thought of "I still feel like I have a little more urine, should I squat again?" I felt like I was nailed to the toilet and couldn't get out. (Our toilets here are squat toilets), which greatly shortened my daily sleep time. Moreover, after using the toilet, I would continue to use my phone to relieve anxiety and develop a habit of staying up late, which undoubtedly exacerbated my symptoms.It's like a process of constantly pursuing certainty, making sure that I have completely emptied my bladder, but this pursuit is morbid, and I can't accept its uncertainty.I don't know what to do. Do you have any solutions?

SMS719

Date posted: 12w

Feeling hopeless 💔

My ocd has been at an extreme all time high the past 2 weeks and I am in dire need of some relief. I’m not sleeping right anymore. for context: I live in the south and found a springtail on my sheets about 2 weeks ago. This was like 2 days before our bug guy came and sprayed (it’s a normal maintenance thing here) so it’s a common bug down here and I’ve found them all over different areas of the house before. Finding it in my bed sent me on a bit of a spiral bc I started to doubt if it even was a springtail and that i was wrong and that it was a bed bug, not trusting my brain. It was a bad, sleepless night and carried over continuing feelings. Typical ocd stuff. Well two days later, I’m a nurse and I had a patient that actually had bed bugs. This wasn’t the first day they were here and I did not see any myself but it still freaked me out. There had one 2 founds after visitors came the day before. Of course I wore PPE in the room (coveralls shoe covers and hair net) going in and took everything off before exiting the room. When I came home I stripped in my garage and bagged everything down to my shoes. Threw everything in the wash and did multiple cycles. There were no other steps I could take but I still had a terrible night. Hours of ruminating and going back and forth about tracing my tracks, thinking of new ways I could’ve taken one home with me. Just checking everything. I was already on a spiral from the springtail. Having two such back to back triggering events for me so closely related has made me deteriorate significantly. I was already doing bad with my normal OCD and starting therapy here. I obsess over the thought of having bedbugs constantly and haven’t been able to sleep. I am constantly checking my bed while in it and can’t settle down. My bed is heavy too and I keep hurting myself lifting my mattress to check. But I need to check. I’ve become obsessed. I check everything and go down Reddit rabbit holes looking for new things. And of course, I talk myself into it every time. I can’t take it anymore, it’s bleeding off into other parts of my life like friendship and marriage because I am so high anxiety right now. I need relief so bad. I’ve never felt this unstable to be honest. I feel like even someone without ocd would be really struggling with this topic, nevermind me, with ocd to a point where I just started treatment. These aren’t even my normal intrusive thoughts and compulsive acts. It’s just taken on a life in the last week and I can’t find any sign that it’s going to slow down. when I think rationally I know I did everything right to prevent but I can’t shake it. 💔

ocdissucky

Date posted: 8w

Sleeping

Does anyone have any tips on how to sleep with harm ocd, I’m always so tired but I can’t fall asleep until it gets to the point my eyes won’t stay open, I’m scared that I’m gonna do something in my sleep or my thoughts just eont shut up and it causes issues with sleeping, advice needed please

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Exposures for certain bedtime rituals

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