Weird experiences

@BigGyro09 I'm not exactly sure. I think it's that I'm usually anxious, when I have to leave the house + that I have to drive through a city I don't know and use the motorway + it's dark, which makes it harder on my eyes. No, it's not about me thinking I should, or shouldn't be nervous around his parents. It's that when they are here and we go out together - DIY store or for lunch - I am not scared to leave the house at all. Mostly all the time, when only my partner and me - or me alone, which barely ever happens - leave the house to go shopping, or in a restaurant, I get extremely anxious.

@Zoë_84 Maybe you're so used to being anxious that it's a surprise that you aren't in that moment? So you're only nervous when it's just you and your partner or just you? I see. I'm not entirely sure as to why that would be. Maybe it will go away after sometimes.

@BigGyro09 I hope so, too. Argh, mental healty issues are a pain in the Ananas.

@Zoë_84 Yes, they very much can be. Sorry that you're dealing with the confusion. Other than that, I'm guessing things have been going well for you. :)

@BigGyro09 Nah, not really. I quit my job at the end of August after just 4 months as my team leaders and colleagues had been a nightmare. My partner doesn't know, that I quit, because he couldn't understand my issues - according to him I just needed a thicker skin - and for him it's a big NO NO to not work. I live off my savings atm and am applying for other jobs. I really hope, that I'll find something, before I run out of money. And apart from this app, I have no one to talk to, well I could talk to my partner, but I always feel like an even bigger failure afterwards, so I don't. How about you? How are you doing? Btw, I like your nickname, it relinds me of a delicious Greek dish. ;)

@Zoë_84 Oh. I'm really sorry to hear about that. You'll find a job soon for sure. Do you have anyone on here you follow? You could use a break from things by going somewhere to a place that's not only fun, but to be around like minded people. I hope your partner would understand and be there for you for whatever happens in the future. You don't think it helps to talk with them? Thanks. I don't remember why I gave myself that username on here, but I do remember changing it from one word to another. As for me, I'm doing okay, but the post I made about seeing disturbing things when browsing for safer search results is still on my mind. Other than that, I'm doing decently.

@BigGyro09 I don't know of a place where I'd find like-minded people. I'm not very sociable and it is rare, that I enjoy the company of people who enjoy my company as well. No, unfortunately it wouldn't help. I tested the waters by saying how horrible work is and he got annoyed and lectured me. He also brought up how hard my way of communication can be on him and how I perceive things wrongly and that I might do the same at work. It's good that you are doing decently, in our OCD world, that's actually really great. Yeah, the internet and the distrubing stuff, that always pops up. The internet is a curse and a blessing.

@Zoë_84 Think of the things you're passionate about. Things you enjoy doing. Things you like. There's definitely other people that share those likes and passions. Surely they have venues that you can go to just to interact with others. It's completely up to you though. I'm sorry that it wouldn't help.. what could probably help is writing out everything to do with how you feel and what you want out of the situation in a journal-like source. I agree. It's a lot better than ruminating and worrying endlessly. I feel my intrusive thoughts haven't been as bad as they usually are, which is a plus. I just don't understand why people would make such disgusting things online with no kind of shame and remorse. I've seen really horrible things on accident and looked them up as a young teenager thinking it was fine because of them. Unfiltered results can be so awful, but I feel like it's my fault for even looking for safe adult content to begin with. Somewhere, deep down though, I know that can't be.

@BigGyro09 I also sometimes wonder how some people can live with themselves. But there are people that must be unphased by what they do to others. Well, I don't think adult content is bad in itself. As long as no one gets exploited, I have no objecting with it getting made and consumed. I grew up in a relatively liberal society and in a liberal, non-religious houshold, which surely influenced my view on the matter. You wrote in a privious post, that you had no sex ed growing up and of course pre-teens anf teenagers are curious. If they neither can ask questions at school, nor at home, the internet is an alternative. Don't blame yourself for using adult content. OCD is bad enough, so as a counter weight, we she try to be kind and compassionate towards ourselves. If I may ask, are you from the US?

@Zoë_84 @Zoë_84 Yeah, there are just people that don't care about that as much as others do. Maybe it just doesn't click for them. I do think the stance on adult content is very opinionated. It's just not for me. Some people like it and some don't. It has a lot of affects on me. How can you ever be 100% sure if someone isn't being exploited though? That's the thing I always think about. And yes, that's true. I didn't have any education on it. I just figured it all out. Is it ok if I don't answer?

@BigGyro09 Well, yes, you have a point there, regarding how one can really know, that the people in the porn business are not getting exploited. Of course it's okay, if you don't answer. I just wondered, because sex ed is mandatory in my country and I think in other European countries, too. In case you are from the US, I have nothing against you guys. ;)

@Zoë_84 I've been told there are safer sites for porn that is acceptable, but I'm still planning to live without it. Not that there's anything wrong with it. Just not for me. I don't know if it was mandatory for me or not to be honest. But I didn't get any, so probably not. Sorry, I just got a little anxious about telling.

@BigGyro09 They only tell the basics in sex ed here. I never got the birds and the bees talk from my parents, they just handed my a book for children, that explains a bit about it. I think they had been uncomfortable talking to us about it, or they forgot how it works, as they, of course, stopped to have sex after I was concieved. 🤭

@Zoë_84 I didn't even know there were children's books for it. I never have. I don't know. I just wish things were different in that department. It is what it is.

@BigGyro09 Not for small children, I was maybe 10/11 ish, when my parents gave me that book. I know that it takes a toll on you, but I'm sure that you can overcome it. If OCD sufferers are anything, they are resilient and strong.

@BigGyro09 I'm taking a big leap and I hope you don't feel spoked by me asking - Do you, by any chance, play Stardew Valley (PC version)?

@Zoë_84 Oh, I see. Thank you. I just hope I can overcome that and the mental and physical damage it gave me. I know of the game, but I do not play it.