Losing my mom to cancer

My mom and I have always been very codependent on eachother. A few months ago we found out she had gallbladder cancer stage 4 that spread everywhere. Now it's getting to the end, this is the last thing me and my family expected, I have never been the strong one, my mom always has, but I have not left her side during this whole thing. I already feel the pain of losing her coming on and it already feels unbearable. I was just wondering if anyone else is or was close to a parent who has passed at a young age and just felt helpless and like they couldn't handle it. Any stories and helpful tips about this subject would help me alot. I don't know where else to turn except to find a psychologist.

Mike✌️

Date posted: 1y

I lost my mom to lung cancer a few years ago. She was 65, pretty young. Do you have a therapist that knows how to treat OCD? The grief was manageable for me with the help of family, even though she passed away within seven months of her diagnosis, but the OCD got very painful. I tried to go back to my life asap after she died and it was too quick. Take your time with the grief and I’d just bear in mind the OCD might spike in unforeseen ways like it did me. It’s all okay though. The intrusive thoughts are all bullshit as ever. You can do it. Showing up as much as your mom needs you right now will help with everything later. Go all out in your love for her.

Cassi logreco

Date posted: 1y

Thank you for responding, ive been to therapists for OCD, but none of them stuck, i thought I was actually doing better, I was self helping myself from what ive learned, and out of no where this happens. I'm just so afraid I won't be able to do a thing because I'll be to anxiety riddled or my ocd will just overcome me over this. I am looking into some different kinds of counseling though.

anonymous00001

Date posted: 1y

Hi Cassi! I’m so sorry you’re going through this right now. I know it must be really painful. Losing someone you love is really scary, no matter the age. I really resonate with the fear you have of not being able to handle it. Actually, the trigger for the biggest OCD episode I had was the anticipatory grief of my grandmother, who raised me and passed away almost exactly a year ago. Leading up to her death, I felt like I was the only person in the world who “couldn’t handle” losing the person I loved. I felt like a baby and I had all of these relentless thoughts that maybe I loved my grandmother “too much”, OR inversely I didn’t love her “enough” and that I was an incredibly selfish, incapable, broken person. I also remember using the word “codependent” like you did here. I thought my whole world would implode and nothing anyone said made me feel better. I felt like I was over reacting, all before she was even gone. I’m not going to lie to you, the grief was HARD. And it still is. But the thing that made it unbearable was those judgmental, obsessive thoughts that made me need to find certainty if I loved her the right way, or try to pass judgment on myself for the way I was feeling. A piece of advice I could give is to get back into OCD therapy if you can, I really wished I found it before she passed. And please know, even though it’s reassurance, that your love for your mom is beautiful and that you CAN get through it. I’m so so sorry and I wish I could take it away, but you post also made me feel less alone. Sending love. ❤️

Cassi logreco

Date posted: 1y

Thank you so much that helps alot to hear that I'm not alone. I'm also sorry for your loss. Thank you for replying I appreciate it so much you have no idea.

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