Do I have to know the reason of my anxiety?

I've seen a video last week where i learned that slowly we have to ask ourself why do we feel anxious, what that emotion is about. Im sure this is not about ocd anxiety, this is more like a daily or ocassionally anxiety and it might help if we realize what is that emotion is about. The problem is that since then im spinning and i want to and i feel like i need to know the reasom of every anxious feeling, im feeling anxious right now and i dont know the reason but i keep thinking like o need to know it cause if i dont do that it will stay here and become stronger and it will affect my health. I cant enjoy my day cause i have to think about why do i feel anxious and if i dont do then i feel horrible, i feel attacked, the anxiety gets worse and its like im pushing away, it is a bad idea, i should realize whats the problem cause either way i will deal with this in the future too, i will feel this today too and it beats me up... Maybe its helpful to know the reason of some of your anxieties but this one got out of hand and i dont feel comfortable and im keep spinning,cant live my life...

alissaa

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 38w

Hi! I used to do this all the time (still sometimes struggle with it). OCD has latched onto this “need to know” why you’re anxious, as an obsession. It’s similar to the “just right” OCD themes. The uncertainty around why you’re anxious does not need to be solved. If you’re familar with exposure work, writing a script talking about what your fear is around not knowing the reason for anxiety can help. For example: “I never figured out why I was anxious. Because of this, the feeling stayed forever and never went away. This means… XYZ”. Using non-engagement responses such as, “I can’t know for sure why I’m anxious”, “maybe I’ll never know why I’m anxious, but I’m choosing to sit with the uncertainty”. OCD is tricky. It’s like playing whack-a-mole. Again, this is a mixture of just right OCD and meta OCD themes. View your symptoms through the lens of treating OCD, rather than falling for its lie that this is some new thing you need to solve.

PRIV8

Date posted: 38w

Thank you, i think i got a second wave of mental illness attack, i started to not react to fear and delay reactions/worry, and since then my anxiety is so high, i get attacked by desperate thoughts and feelings, i kept feeling like i cant handle this, i cant do this and it had a great effect on my self esteem, it really ruined it and i just feel bad cause i felt better before even that i struggled, i didnt had self esteem problems, now it really puts me down, and suddenly i had a self hate problem, i dont think i hate myself I just got attacked by those thoughts, and mixed with the desperation that i cant do this its just a horrible exlerience... It might be just the second wave of recovery journey but it seems to me like i just made myself worse cause now i deal woth self esteem and self hate problems... being unmotivated and i cant put myself enjoy something that makes me feel confident cause its like it hurts cause all these emotions/thoughts are screaming to me...

alissaa

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 38w

@PRIV8 It can be easy to get down on yourself and have your self esteem lower when you hold yourself to perfectionistic standards on your recovery journey. Try your best to focus on self compassion and not expecting yourself to always respond correctly. It’s okay to have flare ups of symptoms. It’s understandable to want to feel better immediately, but sometimes that in itself is a vicious cycle. Negative thoughts about ourselves are the same as any other thoughts: just nonsense our brains throw out. We decide whether those thoughts are useful or not. When they come up, trying saying to yourself, “thanks brain, but this really isnt a helpful thought” rather than engaging in rumination.

PRIV8

Date posted: 38w

@alissaa I dont know what to do with the deep fear tho. A week ago i realize some of my panic attacks are triggered when i think i cant handle a situation, or emotion. I realized it but then i was like okay, what to do with that? And i was stuck with thinking i still cant handle things, im aware of the problem now but it makes it worse causw now im feeling bad about it. Same with your advice, i know i want to do recovery the best way(which is really unhealthy) cause im afraid i wont recover and i will stay like this and in important events i wont be able to be myself.. i know now, but i still dont know what can i do about it so im just stucked there.

PRIV8

Date posted: 38w

@alissaa And another question, how do we know when we have to ignore a thought and when we have to ask ourself why do we think that? Like the negative self esteem thoughts, many would say find out the root cause of these thoughts, so if i just ignore it i feel like im ruining my recovery

PRIV8

Date posted: 20w

What is this feeling that i feel?

For 3 days I had a feeling that came up pretty often and I cant name it, I dont know what is it and the more i try to see what is it the more i feel worse. Usually letting feeling be and letting yourself experience it helps but not with this. I find myself feel grumpier, triggered and more angry. Its a mix of fear, but then i get angry too and I dont find letting myself experience it helpful cause I just stuck there. It feels like its in my chest and when it gets triggered it makes things hard to enjoy. I tried to be kind with myself and see what causes it but trying to be kind with myself triggers this annoying feeling and it just gets worse... i dont know what helps thats why i ask your help, if you ever experienced this... also i what i almlst forgot to mention, what is really important is that i became really sensitive to every thought, and any thought can trigger this feeling or any thought can trigger a negative feeling that will trigger this feeling. And honestly the "just accept it and let yourself feel what you feel" doesnt helps here cause i find myself really angry that i have to let myself feel the emotions that are triggered by these intrusive thoughts...

Andi 🤓☝️

Date posted: 17w

Anxious

I'm at my college and don't feel like being here. I didn't even want to come here. I woke up with anxiety bc i feel like i need to solve this. I had a bad stomach ache when i arrived to school and still havent even eaten breakfast yet bc i feel like i have to solve this. Im just so worried bc i have harm thoughts daily. If i could i would remove this! I dont want to think anymore. Its just, how do I know i dont have real urges when I'm feeling a negative emotion like anger or disappointment or annoyance? Im worried EVERY time i feel a negative emotion. Yesterday I was playing video games with my neice (we are close in age range) and she made us lose. She started blaming me and I guess i felt a little annoyed, it really wasnt my fault (dumb mini argument it was more playful since we started laughing but it was a bit annoying). Anyway i got a harm thought while feeling annoyed of me getting off the couch and lunging at her to attack. I immediately look at my bodily reaction and I tense up to stay as still as possible. My stomach was hurting and i wanted to leave as fast as possible. I stood up and turned off the game and said i was tired while making sure to stay back from her (and i had my hands away and stiff) but i felt so uneasy. I laid I bed and felt sad and heavy. And i kept getting thoughts that said "íts only a matter of time before you can't take it anymore". I started to reassurance seek using ai to ask if i was about to or if they are real urges or thoughts i mean until i eventually fell asleep in the middle of the compulsion. Im just so worried, what if I act out impulsevly one day? I dont want to! But what if when feeling a negative emotion, i suddenly dont care and do something? I really dont want to! I dont even want to feel negative emotions anymore since they trigger the thoughts and I dont want to think about any of that. As a result i tend to avoid my family as much as possible bc they are annoying sometimes. I just wish i was all alone sometimes so i wont get any more thoughts and so everyone can be safe. I usually just stay in bed under my blankets all day long to avoid my family and pets. I am constantly uncomfortable. I miss when i would never think any of this. Living life has become very scary for me now. 😞

nae nae

Date posted: 16w

Existing without anxiety?

Is this even a possibility? I'm not even sure if it's an OCD issue, GAD, or maybe a lack of something else, but I'm just constantly feeling off. Even if I'm not getting constant intrusive thoughts, I just feel on edge all the time? Is there anyone who's been able to overcome this? It bothers me so much 😭

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Do I have to know the reason of my anxiety?

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