I should have never googled schizophrenia because now I'm constantly having intrusive thoughts about delusions and I'm in a 24/7 panic attack. I'm using erp tools but the thoughts affect me so much my stomach and chest keep tightening. Why can't I have good thoughts I'm so exhausted
Hey! If it makes you feel any better, I’m in the same boat. I often get “delusional” thoughts and variations of them, which I picked up from years of fearing / reading about schizophrenia. Now I’m trying to learn to accept them, and not googling further.
Mine is bat shit crazy I'm scared to type ot
@Ragnarking18 Here are some of the ones I’ve had: “I’m being watched/spied on through my game console” “My friends/family will physically hurt me” “My thoughts are being controlled from somewhere else” “The world around me is staged/fake” “The people around me are secretly demons / monsters / aliens / actors / etc” “I’m actually a videogame character” And so on. After reading so many, my mind starting making variations of them, which would scare me more. So I totally understand the fear of believing in them. My recommendation is avoid reading or looking into them more. And if possible, slowly become accepting of the idea that you could be become delusional. That can help to gradually deflate the fear. It’s a process, but you can do it!
@RS1208 I wish I had those lol mine is I'm gonna believe I'm an alien one day and everything I want to do something I enjoy a thought pops up what for ur gonna lose ur mind and think ur an alien and I have a panic attack. I know thoughts ridiculous but I'm so scared one day I'll believe it
@Ragnarking18 It’s funny, I wish I had yours, haha. We don’t know if one day you’ll believe it or not. But one thing you could practice now, if you’re comfortable, is to allow the thought and the possibility of being delusional be there. It’s really hard, especially in the beginning. But try the best you can!
@RS1208 It's so hard dude lol but thanks for the advice appreciate you fam
@Ragnarking18 I agree. It’s extremely hard, especially if you’ve been scared of it for a while. Here to talk if you need it! I’ve had this theme for a while, lol.
@RS1208 I'm tapering off effexor too so anxiety is at an all time high. Do u have trouble sleeping? I get racing thoughts when I try to sleep I miss being able to relax
@Ragnarking18 Ah, that can definitely make it more challenging. Im not currently on any medication, but I do take vitamin D and magnesium. I do get sleep troubles when my anxiety is high, makes the next day much harder.
@RS1208 Yea been on it for 14 yrs and it's not working anymore. The taper is awful man
Follow @tabootracie on Instagram. She’s one of the NOCD therapists and is hilarious. When you tell her the worst possible thought you could ever have, she says “I love that for you.”
Yea I join her support groups she's awesome
@Ragnarking18 Same
@Slicey I jus feel crazy like it's not ocd. Nobody has had these crazy thoughts
@Ragnarking18 I thought I had gone crazy initally and I think lots of others have felt the same. OCD holds onto negative thoughts - if they were positive, they wouldn’t bother us.
@Slicey I know I hate this disorder. I haven't had a positive thought in 3 months
@Ragnarking18 I’m so sorry - I hate it too. Are you considering trying a different medication? That might help, in addition to ERP.
@Slicey Yea I'm tapering off effexor rn which people compare to heroin withdrawl then gonna go on anafranil
@Ragnarking18 Sorry about the withdrawal - I had to go through that with Celexa - it was awful. I hope the new medication helps!!
@Slicey Thanks alot!! R u on any meds now?
@Ragnarking18 Yes, Luvox. Literally saved my life.
@Slicey If u don't mind me asking what are your obsessions
@Ragnarking18 My themes are harm, suicidal, POCD, just right, probably a little existential in there. Fear of failure or not doing something right are my core fears.
@Slicey Yup had all those too
@Ragnarking18 No fun at all
Im so scared i wish my brain would send me in to derealisation, im 13 years old and my OCD honestly gives me the most disgusting thoughts I can’t take it anymore my head turns everything into a sexual thought and I can’t even look at my own mom anymore because of them they are really and honestly the most messed up thoughts I could ever think of and I’m so scared idk what to do, I’m on Prozac and going to start ERP soon but I’m still so insanely scared I have lost myself, I’m only just been diagnosed with ocd and don’t know everything abt it but just keep on panicking about everything😭😞😢
I am hurting so much right now. I feel sad and disgusted with myself that I would even worry about these things (pocd). What kind of a human even thinks that and has doubts about that?? Definitely not one that’s rational or mentally sane. That kind of stuff should be a no brainer so why do I worry about it so much and what does it say about me? I feel sick and disgusted and can’t stop crying over it. I just feel so defeated like I want to disappear. I started ERP and every time I resist reassuring myself it comes back at me from every angle. I hate this so much.
I need help everyone. My thoughts have been getting worse… I haven’t used my ERP because it feels too scary and too real and so I am caught in this spiral of doing compulsions with every other thought that I have. I have thoughts about that bad guy that are so horrible and then I think that the bad guy is talking to me so I do compulsions and desperately want GOD to believe me when I say I don’t mean the thoughts, but then it creates doubt about whether or not I actually do mean the thoughts. And now I am afraid of my own thoughts This makes me want to fix ALL of the thoughts and feelings that I have to prove even more to myself and to GOD that I don’t mean these thoughts. On top of all of this, I am trying to convince myself that it’s OCD and not me at all. Does anyone have this and can anyone help? I am so tired and scared and burnt out…
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