Catlove9
- Date posted
- 41w
Is this ever going to end?
I make progress, and then OCD comes at me a different way. It makes me sick to my stomach. It’s giving me new feelings and I can’t tell if it’s my OCD or me and I’m really scared.
issphra 🫶🏻issphra 🫶🏻
- Date posted
- 41w
I’m going through this too. It’s hard, you’re not alone 🩷 OCD is a bitch
Catlove9Catlove9
- Date posted
- 41w
@isshpra 🫶🏻 It really is. Like right now I don’t even know what I’m feeling. All I know is it’s scary and I want it to stop. But I don’t even know what it is!
issphra 🫶🏻issphra 🫶🏻
- Date posted
- 41w
@Catlove9 omg are you me?? Because literally SAME. I just feel so scared and I don’t even understand why and it’s like my OCD is trying to grasp anything to explain the feeling
Catlove9Catlove9
- Date posted
- 41w
@isshpra 🫶🏻 That’s exactly how I feel! And it keeps going around and around. It just feels like I’m not even here. Which makes no sense.
issphra 🫶🏻issphra 🫶🏻
- Date posted
- 41w
@Catlove9 I’m sorry you’re going through this too, it’s really tough honestly. I wish we didn’t have to live like this anymore
Catlove9Catlove9
- Date posted
- 41w
@isshpra 🫶🏻 Me too. Right now it’s really hard because I feel like I can’t even explain it. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
sethnauticalsethnautical
- Date posted
- 41w
Have been struggling a lot lately, too. Just when you think you’re finally out of it, it comes back in a different way. We just have to fight harder than everyone else, but I think it makes us more badass that we have conquered so much 💪
Catlove9Catlove9
- Date posted
- 41w
@sethnautical Hahaha I do agree with that. But you’re right. It’s always different. For me, it’s always a different feeling or theme.
SliceySlicey
- Date posted
- 41w
It’s so exhausting, sickening and scary. I almost don’t like having good days sometimes because I know the bad days will be back soon.
Catlove9Catlove9
- Date posted
- 41w
@Slicey Yes! And when am I having a good day, it’s like I check to see when it will end.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 41w
I’m really struggling today too you’re not alone
Catlove9Catlove9
- Date posted
- 41w
@Anonymous Thank you for saying that ❤️
Glitchgkojdyu!Glitchgkojdyu!
- Date posted
- 41w
Yes I dissociate a lot because of my OCD. It scared me so much I was shaking like rapidly then tensed so much my head got stuck in an owl position and I had to go hospital. Was messed up
Catlove9Catlove9
- Date posted
- 41w
@Glitchgkojdyu! Omg. I hope you’re okay! I’ve been dissociating A LOT lately as well. I feel so spaced out and so out of it. I wish I could explain it better because it feels so weird.
JazzyJez86JazzyJez86
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 41w
This recently happened to me, and I connected it with the fact that my period was about to start (and it lessens so much once I actually get my period). My therapist explained that the OCD will latch on to new things because it is desperately trying to find meaning out of nothing and drag you back into the anxiety cycle to get you to do a compulsion. It's definitely not you, it's OCD! But you have to tell yourself, "Maybe it is OCD, maybe it's me, there's no way I can know for sure. I'm going to live in the discomfort and uncertainty of not knowing." That disarms the neverending OCD quest to try to get you to engage with it's stupid questions. Hang in there!
Catlove9Catlove9
- Date posted
- 41w
@JazzyJez86 Thank you! This is helpful.
Catlove9Catlove9
- Date posted
- 41w
@JazzyJez86 Also, how many days before your period did it start feeling like that?
JazzyJez86JazzyJez86
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 41w
@Catlove9 I’d say like 3-5ish? It’s super annoying but does help to know that stress and hormones can aggravate it 😵💫 I felt like I was losing progress and my therapist had to remind me I’ve only been doing ERP for a little over two months, it’s normal for new things to come up and it can happen years apart too. It will get better!
Catlove9Catlove9
- Date posted
- 41w
@JazzyJez86 Thank you! This makes sense. Mine is due and the last few days have been hell!
Related posts
LizM99
- Date posted
- 18w
Is this something OCD does?
Whenever anyone starts to feel like their thoughts are less triggering or they feel a moment of happiness/ relief OCD tells you that you want the thoughts back or you actually like having the thoughts and maybe thats just the person I really am? I feel like im going insane😢
Vee <3
- Date posted
- 17w
Heyyyy!
So my OCD has been bad lately. I’ve been ruminating and obsessing over my sexuality again. And it just keeps getting worse. I hate it so much. I try to sit with the discomfort but then my ocd does the backdoor spike. And the groinal response is what keeps me looped. It SUCKS. I am not attracted to men, but my OCD is trying SO hard to convince me that I am. There have been days where I’m just so mentally exhausted that I “accept” what my ocd tells me and I just walk around a hollow, lethargic shell. But then I rethink it and I feel better. It feels like I can only find my TRUE self when I tire my nervous system out enough that it literally breaks down and has me suicidal and hopeless. And then accepting my OCD’s “truth” (that I’m attracted to men) feels like a burden and a chore. I woke up today from an OCD dream, tried to go back to sleep, and my stomach kept cramping bc I was so anxious and ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. I’m starting to doubt it being OCD anymore. My brain is too tired to fight and cry about it anymore.
issphra 🫶🏻
- Date posted
- 16w
I feel like I am OCD
It is not the thoughts or urges that scare me anymore. It is the way I feel like I’ve absorbed the compulsions into my identity :( I am doing them so automatically that it feels like I am choosing them freely and they’re me. and because of that, it feels like I AM the OCD now, not just someone with OCD. I think I’m just deeply trapped in a loop. I was trying to survive unbearable fear so I started scanning. Then I started pre-scanning. Then checking if I pre-scanned. Then I check how I feel during all that. I run to beat my OCD to the “punchline” (intrusive thought, urge, sensation) because I’m so scared all the time. So scared that I don’t even feel it anymore. I feel numb and all that’s left is this jittery residue and numbness. Now it’s all tangled together in a huge knot. I feel so extremely lost. I think this may just be meta OCD, but I’ve never ever felt so gone before :( I’m really scared.
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