I need help with a really difficult OCD episode

@yaya_zz I try to sit through it, but then it just gets scarier. And I legit start panicking because it feels different than the last time.

@Catlove9 It will always feel different trust me

@Catlove9 I can’t ever get a break because I always panic because it feels different but your mind will always try to find a way to attack you. Sit with the panic BREATH breathing will be your best friend. I’m no one to talk because I still struggle just like you but they only way to get through it is sitting through it.

@yaya_zz Thank you. I am going to keep trying. No matter how terrified and real it feels. If the dissociation wasn’t here, I feel like it would be better. But that extra layer just makes it worse for me.

@vincenzokeez Have you experienced the same? How did you get through?

@Catlove9 Hi, I’m on this app bc my boyfriend actively struggles with similar things @vince mentioned, but mainly relationships ocd and also with what you said about not feeling like you’re inside your body. Maybe almost like you’re watching yourself from an outside perspective. He also gets extremely scared during an episode, and has always run away until recently learning about just allowing yourself to sit in the anxiety and not run away from it all which has definitely not been easy for him but he tends to practice breathing until it passes. Most of the time it comes with many tears and expressing all his doubts, thoughts, and fears that feels instead of actually acting on them like just letting them out instead. I always encourage letting those out think that’s helped him move past the episode, instead of trying to run away from it and pretend those thoughts aren’t there. I can honestly say he’s come a long way the more he’s exposed himself to it. And by the end once he’s said all he’s feeling we can usually figure out what it was that triggered it, maybe something that happened a long time ago or even just an hour ago. I think a huge step in his healing has been figuring out why or what specifically it is that he’s so afraid of that triggers these main ocd thoughts. For example, ocd with our relationship that he constantly has thoughts that maybe he doesn’t really love me or that I’m not right for him and then someone says something about “how you should feel when you’re in love” or maybe a social post, movie or even hearing someone else’s point of view on their own loved one can trigger him thinking that if his feelings don’t align directly with those he must not love me.. or things like that for example. so the more he’s realized those type of things are the stuff that triggers his ocd fear of not loving me the easier it gets for him to recognize the seperation between his actual feelings and ocd thoughts. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, Remember you’re never alone, and you are not your thoughts. You can overcome this.

@Mryanee22 Wow. Thank you for saying this. Also thank you for supporting your boyfriend. It’s not easy to find people who understand or who are willing to understand. A lot of people shrug it off and say “just think about something else.” He’s so lucky to have you.

@Catlove9 Thank you so so much, I’m lucky to have him, and even more lucky to have someone who loves me deeply to be so dedicated to figuring out how to overcome this even though I can see that it’s so hard to deal with everyday… 24/7. It really breaks my heart, No one deserves to feel like that. I wish more people were more understanding too. Most “normal” people I hear that have had people with mental health issues in their lives whether it be any type of OCD, attachment issues ect are so quick to condemn and say that these people are a “nightmare” and whatnot but I don’t think it’s true at all. It’s not your fault you struggle with certain things and I can’t imagine how alone it would feel when everyone’s like “well if your head tells you it’s doesn’t feel right then it’s probably true” which is so frustrating cuz it’s not your actual thoughts. It’s OCD. you literally can’t “just feel different” no matter how bad you want to. it’s definitely so hard but we’ve found some therapists that understand and that’s been so helpful. Anyways through this process with him I also came to realize that though i didn’t know at the time Ive alsodealt with extreme extreme disassociation and harm OCD issues year ago at a very young age. I had no idea why I felt like that all the time or what ocd was. That was one of the worst times of my life and felt so so unreal and terrifying like there was no escape. It lasted for maybe 2 years before it ended. Which I belive was because I was so young as i developed I found some other ways to cope and move on from that. I have hope for you in this too. Although even now, though the ocd side is gone disassociation is a struggle for me. not for the weak. I even now try to practice “grounding” myself which the things around me as I go about my day. I try to stay active physically and even just having someone you can talk to and just express is huge. For a long time I didn’t think that would help me but I realize now it truly does help when someone listens and lets you know you’re not alone. I wish I could give help in your situation, unfortunately, I’m no therapist. But, there are ways. And you’re not alone, you got this, I know it. 💛

@Mryanee22 Thank you so much. I’m sorry you went through the harm ocd and dissociation. That’s exactly what I’m going through. The dissociation is the worst part for me because it feels like I could lose control and I feel like I’m going crazy. It’s just recently gotten super bad. I’m trying to push through but it can be very tough. Thank you for all the kind words.