Idk what too do

I feel I'm a boy, even though I was born one. I feel like I cant live my life without being one, and it feels like if I was too live my life as a female It just wouldn't be what I am. I don't identify as anything, but lately I've been really uncomfortable about my body because of my ocd. I will get intrusive thoughts on forcing myself to be a girl, and what not. I'm also struggling because I go to a small town, and have to go to the girls lockeroom everyday. I also have to sneak into the bathrooms when nobodys looking to make sure they dont see me go into the females bathroom. In public I use the men's bathroom, and am always seen as Sir. Yet when it comes down to family, church, and school I am seen as she. I have came out about it to my mom, aunts, and lots of other family members, but some don't even talk to me because of it anymore. I've told my paster and he's accepting, yet I'm so scared to tell the others. And my school doesn't accept it at all. I feel I should give up on my identity because it's bad that I'm a boy. Idk what to do but it's been bothering me all day it just won't stop looping in my head

Zoë_84

Date posted: 38w

Sorry, I can't quite follow. You feel like you are a boy, you were born a boy and you don't want to be a girl, do I understand that correct?

B4ll_Tongue26

Date posted: 38w

I'm a boy but I was biologically born female, I just identify as a boy

Zoë_84

Date posted: 38w

@Fr3ak_0n_4_l3ash Ahhh, you wrote "I feel I'm a boy, even though I was born one.", that confused me, but now I get it.

Zoë_84

Date posted: 38w

Well, when you feel like you are a boy, identify as a boy and you feel like you'd be hiding your true self, if you lived like a girl, than you should live your life as a boy and later as a man. It might be hard for your family members to come to terms with their daughter, niece, etc. to now be their son, nephew, etc. But I'm sure it was much harder for you to come to terms with your body not matching your identity. Especially your family should be supportive of you, as you are not living as a boy for fun and giggles, but as that's your identity. Regarding religion, I'm an atheist and I'm not a fan of religious communities. So my advice would be to not care, if they are not supportive of you. But in case religion and belonging to a conregation is important to you, I!' certain there are conregations, that are more modern and accepting. Also, your school should be supportive of you, but you can't force people to. My advice is to connect with like-minded people, if possible not only online, but offline two and build yourself a network of friends who support, accept and love you for who you really are. I'm sure the ones who don't - family, congregation members, school - will not weight that heavily anymore, as soon as you have your network up and running.

B4ll_Tongue26

Date posted: 38w

Brian__

Date posted: 38w

Trans person to trans person I get you dude it’s incredibly hard and when I came out my mom didn’t accept me for a couple of years and she’s still very iffy about it but I’ve been aloud to change my name in school and present masculine she just doesn’t call me my preferred name or anything like that and she expects me to use the female restrooms. I to also get intrusive thoughts about what if I just presented female or detransitioned because of how hard it is. Don’t give up on being who you are because of what ocd puts in your head or tells you, you identify what you feel most comfortable as, it’s much harder to be a trans person under the age of 18 especially in unsupportive environments/states but I promise you once you become 18 and are able to make your own choices and get your personal transition goals started your life will be so much better. It’s hard having family members and others stop talking to you or supporting you because of your identity but I promise you it’s better they’re out of your life because they most likely would’ve caused you problems later on down the line, don’t give up on transitioning because of how hard it is currently because once you reach your goal you’ll be happy and feel like your who your supposed to be. Don’t lie to yourself to please other people be who you are and accept yourself. It gets hard for me to sometimes but I promise you keep pushing through and remind yourself that ocd is a bully and a liar and that you know who you are! I wish you luck and I hope things start looking up for you soon dude 🫶

B4ll_Tongue26

Date posted: 38w

Tysm man, that rlly meant a lot too me

shinsset

Date posted: 24w

tocd + proof + advice on how to tell people?

I cant do anything anymore without my brain dregdging up proof from my past that I was actually trans and didn't know it, and it all seems so plausible. like I said in my last post its unearthing memories that I didn't even know I have. ik this is just ocd tricking me but I feel like I need to review every moment thoroughly bc I have questioned my gender in the past but always concluded that'd I'd happier as a girl (which is true). everything feels so real and it feels like I am just super in denial. also, how do I tell people about this? I made the mistake of confessing to a teacher on a note and only a couple friends of mine understand the thoughts I get, but I don't tell them everything. however its very hard for me to do basic responsibilities like school work and I always end up overwhelmed, so I'm thinking I may need accomdations. I need to get in touch with my counselor but i'm unsure how to explain all of this to her, being that I don't have a diagnosis....also I feel like I can't talk about this with the majority of my friends because gender ocd is rare to have (increasing my doubts) and, at least school-wise, i'm in very accepting environment for lgbtq and I'm afraid they're just gonna tell me to accept myself. I'm scared of doing erp for this because what if I like it (also cant afford therapy). ive also felt very apprehensive around some of my trans friends and classmates because my brain is going crazy asking "what if you're like them?" and I feel so bad and transphobic for these thoughts. i'm genuinely so tired. one of my closest friends died last year, but my father pointed out that my recent mood has been even worse than it was during that time. i tend to bottle up my emotions a lot, so everyone's just telling me to "let it go" and tell people, but if I do that I feel like i'll end up confessing. i'm so tired and lost.

sofiaraaah7

Date posted: 20w

It’s real now

I’m sobbing right now. I’m convinced that I’ve been in denial all along and that it’s all real. It has to be now. I don’t wanna be a boy but I feel like there’s no way I’m not one if I’m doing these things. There’s no way I’m a cis girl if I’m doing these things. I’m so fucking done with life I feel absolutely trapped. I don’t wanna be a man but fuuuuuuuuck I think it’s real now I’m so fcking done with living. I really feel like I’ve been using OCD as an excuse/a cover up and I’m scared it’s all a facade. There’s no way it’s not real now I’m literally so fcking scared I want it all to stop. If anyone has advice please send some my way. I need it badly

Anonymous

Date posted: 16w

I feel so different from others

I feel different from others, I don’t feel as feminine and I feel like I’ve changed. I’m not sure why I feel this way. I also don’t think my ocd is ocd, it’s just something I told myself to feel better. I know! What if I am what if I’m not, I get it, but I don’t feel like i have a choice in the matter anymore. I have soocd and it’s eaten me alive for years. I woke up out of my sleep and got triggered and here I am. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I always wanted a boyfriend and now It seemed to change. I don’t want a girlfriend, it’s just that I don’t see anything for myself and I feel like I’m hiding. It’s hard to explain. Plus sometimes the way I move or speak makes me feel more masculine and it kills me. Im feeling so lost and alone right now. I know what I want deep down but I feel incapable of having those things because I won’t be able to have feeling. If that makes sense.

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