- Date posted
- 35w
Self awareness
For a long time now I have a problem of being insanely self aware about me and everything around me. I can’t really enjoy anything anymore because I always think about life and every situation I’m in. It’s so hard to explain but I could be enjoying my self and in the next moment I’m thinking about how life works and what’s going on. I overly think about how I’m acting especially in a public setting and even when I’m alone. Like I’m literally doing it right now while writing this. I just can’t ever be who I really am anymore every little thing I do I precisely examine and almost calculate. It’s to the point where I basically forgot who I really am. Constantly switching my personality in different environments and conditions. Just wish I could be content with myself. I also overly think about how people are acting around me and try to read their emotions. I can just never be at peace in mind. I just always think about how and why we’re even living. Like how does any of this work and why did any of this happen. And everyone just acts like it’s completely normal which is how I used to be when I was younger but as I’ve grown older that’s almost all I can think about sometimes. How we’re supposed to follow a certain path. Get a high paying job, find someone to start a family with, raise children, grow old and die. All of that makes sense and sounds like a good fulfilling life I guess, it’s just so overwhelming and kinda scary. It just feels like people already have a life written for them and they kind of just go on aimlessly. It’s so hard to explain I’d go into more depth like I could go on for 20 pages about it but I’ve already written too much. Does anyone else feel this way? And is there anyway of calming it down?