I need your help for this.

Ive shared here many times that this year my health anxiety got really bad and it got to a point where i had really sad thoughts and i dont know what to do with them cause they are really deep/dark and i feel like it can be real, like in that situation i can feel the same thing. Im talking about the fear of having cancer, i had alot of stomach issues in these 2 months and i couldnt handle my emetophobia and because i heard from others thst the way i react now to this issue, i couldnt handle if i would have cancer and i would die because of stress, and this made me think cause i think its true... And this became and obsession lurking behind, and one night it gave me actual thoughts like i have cancer and im thinking that maybe i spend my last day with mx family, they are seeing me the last time and how sad will be for them when i die, these really dark things and it made me feel soo sad, like im in that situation and i felt that hopelessnes dark feeling that i might not wake up tomorrow and how it will affect others.. It's a horrible feeling.. and what made me spin more is that after this i thought that i would have the same thoughts if i would be dangerously ill and those feelings are scaring me and i dont know what to do about it... Im afraid i would feel the same thing and it scares me cause these are really dark and strong feelings, you cant just ignore it and move on... It really hard to navigate yourself through these dark thoughts, atleast i cant just move on...

I went to internal medicine today, and i'm not perfectly healthy, My liver is a little bit fat, I have to lose weight so thats okay, also I have gallsand, which is not gallstone yet but it can become that if its not treated. Now im like these arent big problems but when i heard these I started to overthink and think about the worse that I will have gallstones cause the doctor said I have it cause it runs in my family(my mother/grandmother and uncle had it) and I just think that it wont go away, and even if i doesn I will be worried all year if it came back. Im just so afraid. Also they said I should go get a blood check, but I said i will hesitate now cause last time i almost fainted and felt horrible the whole day, and now i hear from people i know that they went and they felt sick and vomited there. But the overthinking comes from me thinking if these little symptoms I experienced which I thought its because of anxiety, was because of health issues then the other symptoms I experience sometimes (headache and lightheadedness) are there cause of another health issue, and im worrying about my health, im afraid of death, i keep imagining myself if they tell me that i have terminal illness or something really bad and i dont know how to handle it. Now i feel nausea and i would say its because of stress but i keep thinking that its because of the health issues I have...I don't know how to handle this fear, if you ask others or therapists, they will say "yeah everyone is afraid of death and suffering" or "Try to think about something else" and i wont pay for advices like this...

I feel really anxious since i decided that i will go get a blood test. Today i went to get a haircut and the whole time i felt like i will faint, vomit, i dont feel good and it was horrible. I came home and started to read about how to deal with emotions. I found a really good article, and I started doing the work. I thought that im avoiding my emotions and I dont now what i actually feel so I went inside and after some time a thought and a feeling came up that said "i wish i could tell this to someone who would listen to me and nurture me" and i felt so good thinking about this. But then I started thinking maybe i should go to therapy cause noone will listen me here, and i started to feel sad and it got worse and worse. Its been hours now and my mind keeps thinking about "noone listens to me" and it keeps me feeling sad and depressed. This is is why i dont like to think about my emotions. Now I dont know should i act on this strong emotion, should i run and talk to someone? That feels like a compulsion. I felt this before,alot of times when i struggle i feel like i wish i could tell this to someone, and alot of times i do,but i dont get the reaction what i want. I dont like that we should act on every deep feelings we feel. If i feel this than the only answer to heal this feeling is to run to somebody and talk about my feelings. I dont like it that now nonstop i feel this and think about this and i cant move on.