Im really struggling right now

I experience fear with depression and the two just feeds itself. And the scary thing is that i try to do something about it but it gets worse and im scared more and have thoughts like i cant deal with this with makes me depressed. Its just like a strong fear is in me and i dont know what to do about it. In that mentals state i tried to do something and my effort meets with rejection, like i dont believe on what i say or its just my brain doesnt believes it and i have to struggle to make myself believe it and thats doesnt work. I dont have a tool for this problem, what i tried doesnt work and it makes me depressed. Also before with depression it helped me to see my thoughts, to notice wheres the lie or faulty thinking, now it doesnt works... I try to work on them but it doesnt work and it makes me depressed. Any advice?

TexasOCD41

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 37w

It is hard when you have co-morbid issues. Depression added to OCD it like two broken necklaces tangled together, you can't fix either until you untangle them. You say you don't have tools for this, what do you have access to? do you have therapy access? medication? how are you treating your body? a tired body is a tired mind. Also, the SMALLEST things make a BIG difference. going to be at an ungodly early time (9pm) hot baths with candels, walks in nature, GOOD nutritious food, these things feel so useless on their own but speaking from experience, they HELP! they give you the strength to do the work. So what do you have access to? what changes to your your routine can you make to give your body some TLC?

PRIV8

Date posted: 37w

I have the tools to motivate myself to face the fear but i dont have the tool what i need to do in that situation when i feel dizzy,feeling like i will vomit, my body is in a huge alert mode. Right now too i find myself being stuck in fear and what i try to do doesnt help and i became more desperate which doesnt helps. I try to use acceptance, before it really helped me to accept and say its okay im going through this, now it doesnt. It helped me to say "okay i feel this feeling" like "i feel fear" but doing this with fear it just adds more fear... Before it helped if i noticed my thoughts and i said these are distorted thoughts by the current strong emotion i feel, but when i had that emotional attack i couldnt see it like im watching them, they felt like they are in me, they are reality. And i tried to see them and say its just nonsense, but strangely doing it made me more depressed cause it didnt felt right. Its strange...

TexasOCD41

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 37w

@PRIV8 It’s not strange it’s just complex. When you respond in ANY WAY to your thoughts, regardless of if it’s to call them lies, call them distorted, you are still giving them attention because deep down your trying to fight them by categorizing them. Try this, when my anxiety was extremely physical ( tight chest, pounding heart, sweating palms, twitching muscles) my therapist said to draw myself into that location, focus on where you feel it, say “ i feel my chest is tight, i feel my stomach is upside down, i feel my legs are tingling “ and physically focus on those places. I found that almost instantly once i directed my attention TO the places, it was like shining a flashlight on a group of roaches and scattering, the physical feelings eased. Now to your thoughts, I would suggest not labeling them, just ACKNOWLEDGE but don’t RESPOND. “ hmm, there’s. Thought, I don’t care about that right now, what else should i be doing instead?” And shift your attention present.

PRIV8

Date posted: 37w

@TexasOCD41 I dont know where i wrote i down but when i said i have panic or i feel dizzy/ like i.will vomit, focusing on it more made it worse, i felt more like i will faint or have to leave the place. With ocd thought it helps to ignore them but with depressive thoughts if i ignore it the.story still continues unconciously and then im depressed but i dont know the reason. Before it helped to say its okay i feel like this, i accept it, but now i doesnt, inside me im still screaming no i dont like this and i cant change it...

PRIV8

Date posted: 37w

@PRIV8 And i have problem with the "dont react" respons, cause telling myself that is a reaction too and it makes me more triggered

PRIV8

Date posted: 23w

What is this feeling that i feel?

For 3 days I had a feeling that came up pretty often and I cant name it, I dont know what is it and the more i try to see what is it the more i feel worse. Usually letting feeling be and letting yourself experience it helps but not with this. I find myself feel grumpier, triggered and more angry. Its a mix of fear, but then i get angry too and I dont find letting myself experience it helpful cause I just stuck there. It feels like its in my chest and when it gets triggered it makes things hard to enjoy. I tried to be kind with myself and see what causes it but trying to be kind with myself triggers this annoying feeling and it just gets worse... i dont know what helps thats why i ask your help, if you ever experienced this... also i what i almlst forgot to mention, what is really important is that i became really sensitive to every thought, and any thought can trigger this feeling or any thought can trigger a negative feeling that will trigger this feeling. And honestly the "just accept it and let yourself feel what you feel" doesnt helps here cause i find myself really angry that i have to let myself feel the emotions that are triggered by these intrusive thoughts...

PRIV8

Date posted: 20w

Are you afraid to tell yourself you're depressed?

I'm really afraid to say that and the reason might be because of how depression is described to us. And at this point I dont know what is depression. I don't think feeling down is depression. Or sometimes feeling like things doesnt go as you want and you dont know what to do. Maybe it is, I can't tell it cause if i say im depressed in these situations it makes the situation worse, I feel like I put more weight on me. I know its common for depressed people to be ashamed that they are depressed and that might be my case too but as I said, many times I feel like I shouldnt call it depression, just feeling low or things has been stressful and it made me mentaly tired. I imagine depression as a different thing, i believe i was depressed before,because of ocd and i wasnt able to deal with my emotions, and sometimes I spin about that too cause again depression is presented differently in social media and by therapists too. So everytime i feel down i spin about if im depressed, afraid of depression cause I see it as a really bad thing.

DiegoIsLit808

Date posted: 11w

Advice?

Ive been struggling with the fear that if i am suicidal or something and ive been having like fears or intrusive thoughts of jumping off or losing control and acting on these thoughts and i dont know if this is just some very bad case of anxiety? Im always thinking about it trying to prove it wrong in my head and its gotten to a point where its effecting my sleep, i use chat gpt. I know deep down i dont wanna do any of it, i mean the very thought makes me panic quick so idk i just want to forget all these thoughts and i was wondering if anyone goes through this as well?

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