Is it too late?

I’ve been struggling for about 8 months. Unfortunately, I had tried to dig and figure my way out of a religious obsession through rumination, only to continue to get into a deeper and deeper hole. I’m triggered by almost everything, having even a triggering thought and surge of adrenaline multiple times per minute. Bc of this constant state of anxiety, I also have clinical depression. I feel so trapped in my own mind. I just don’t see a way out? I can’t even pray anymore, bc praying is a trigger. Anything good is a trigger bc it reminds me of my former life. Did anyone come out of such hopelessness?

Mitu_001

Date posted: 34w

Hey.I also dealt with relgious obsession ..a long time ago.It just went away I dont even remember when.I deal now with other themes.But I want to say that I advice you to talk with someone.Dont act like me.You dont deserve to suffer in silence.I know its scary..A good therapist should help.And its never too late.I dealt with ocd for ywars but I was too afraid.I want to talk with someone..I just told my mom .I am sorry that u deal with this

JB1020

Date posted: 34w

I'm sorry you're in a tough spot. There is always hope, as long as you're still here, it's not "too late". Don't give up! You can do this and people in your situation have prevailed before! You're not able to pray in a non-compulsive way? Just to sit with God? Or pray in a way that is aligned with OCD coping tools, such as asking God to help you to accept uncertainty / resist compulsions, etc... What do you mean that it's a trigger, reminding you of your former life? ERP therapy is also very helpful, do you have a therapist you can design exposures with? One day at a time!

Anonymous

Date posted: 34w

@JB1020 I mean that if I see something that used to bring me joy, it’s such a painful reminder of what I lost bc of this ocd and depression. And I guess I pray more about what the rumination is telling me….that I won’t reject God and end up in hell. I’m currently in therapy, but I don’t feel the ERP is really addressing my main fears.

JB1020

Date posted: 34w

@Anonymous - I see. I'm sorry you feel ERP is not really addressing your fears. Hopefully you can work with your therapist to more directly isolate and attack your obsessions. I see what you mean about prayer being a painful reminder. But you can get that joy back! Don't give up. I would try a couple different things. 1) Try prayer that is mainly or only praise/worship-oriented. Don't ask for things, don't give in to rumination, don't let intrusive thoughts change your prayer course. Simply compliment, praise, worship, and thank God. That's it. Perhaps this can restore your joy in the Lord. 2) Pray specifically for constructive help with OCD. Again, don't give in to rumination, don't let intrusive thoughts alter the course. Ask for help *accepting uncertainty*. Ask for help *letting thoughts pass by*. Ask for help *leaving anxiety at his feet*. Your therapist may be able to work with you to construct a more productive prayer life that doesn't give in to rumination. Prayer is really the heart of relationship with God. Don't give up on it because it's a painful reminder or because you currently aren't praying in a productive way. We can change that! God bless.

sarita_fc

Date posted: 23w

How do you get through your episodes?

Hi everyone I’m new here and well today was a very hard day for me… so a couple months ago out of no where my brain just went poof literally to not get so much into detail I experienced a lot of things but during that whole process I developed intrusive thoughts of hurting my self or others its been going on since December I knew someThing was off so I went for professional help Ive been working very hard in recovering now those intrusive thoughts aren’t the problem as much because I figured out what was the trigger (I think) but now it’s more obsessing over religion and spirituality and what’s real and what’s not and it makes me panic and creates panic attacks and just kind of makes my episodes a lot worst… so I would like to know if anyone has experienced this? How do get through it? How do you talk yourself out of it?

Abuchs

Date posted: 17w

Length of episode - highly distressed please help

Hi, last year I had a trigger with my little cousin that made me spiral. Then that thought lead to another and lead to another thought and another one and so on and I've been feeling stuck (with ups and downs) over a year now. I hit rock bottom in July/August and that lead me to going to the psychiatrist. I am taking meds now, but I still feel bad. It doesn't take as much time of my life anymore but it is constantly back there in my mind. It's the feeling that I'm ignoring and undoubtable truth that soonest or later will come out, or that rejecting, or that I'm resisting. That's why it's been impossible for me to do ERP, because I think it's going to make me want to touch myself and if I do I'll feel bad. And then it feels like I like the thoughts, not only physically (groinals) but mentally??? It's like a brain fog that I can't tag between pleasure or confusion. And that thought leads me to thinking about the alleged "non-offending" ps and if that could be me. And that thought leads me to think OH MY GOD I can't BELIEVE I am a girl in my twenties obsessing over this I can't believe this is my life.

POCD

Anonymous 25#

Date posted: 25d

Anyone?

Hey everyone it’s been a while since I posted on here. Honestly, I try to stay off of this app unless I really need advice because I find it triggering at times. But right now I’m feeling pretty down and just would like some hopeful and helpful advice. Has anyone ever felt like they’re just not capable of getting out of this? Has anyone ever felt like ERP therapy isn’t working or that they just can’t get it’s a click? . I’ve been in ERP therapy for over a year just about a year and a half actually and I literally feel so stagnant and stuck still. I show up every week I do my exposures, but my body is in such a chronic fight or fight all the time that it feels almost impossible to apply the tools. I’m super sensitive to begin with and I feel things very deeply and because of that it feels like I’m not gonna be able to ever change. It feels like no matter what I do or experience I’m just gonna always feel it so deeply and it’s gonna just rattle me all of the time. I’m honestly so frustrated. I’m tired and I’m overwhelmed. I so badly wanna change these patterns that I have and grow and be out of this OCD spiral, but everything just feels impossible. I’m just wondering if I’m alone here?? Has anyone ever felt this way? Has ERP taken a long time for anyone else or am I the only one that just can’t get my brain to click with it? Any encouraging and helpful words would be greatly appreciated thank you 🙏

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