Can someone talk me through something.

So I'm not really sure where to start. But I feel alot of what I wanna say is me wanting reassurance. Basically long story short. I got to a ocd therapist. This topic has bothered me for years. I'm wondering about porn and masterbation being a compulsion. I'm curious how far those topics can go? Any advice on this?

@onedayaat If you are dealing with porn addiction I can give you some advice! I have been struggling with it for years and I did a lot of utterly disgusting things regarding porn and masturbation. I did therapy and the first thing you need to learn, is to move over and forgive yourself, don't think too much about, just accept it as part of your life, it does not mean that you must see it as something that was not wrong, recognize it as something wrong or unhealthy and don't make it the end of the world. I wish I could help more but I am really struggling with a lot of OCD themes too.

@onedayaat U can go to the sexual harm and content group therapy thing if ur ocd member. I think everything CAN be a compulsion. I talk to my therapist abt sec and masturbation all the time and grt rly graphic.... we are all human and u are paying them? I always would say is it ok if i TMI u id start small ask if its ok to talk abt and get deeper in personal/ tabboo topics. But very normal to worry about that stuff

@onedayaat Hi, I've heard it can be a compulsion, but it depends on the reason you're engaging in those things. I've wondered this same thing. I find myself questioning: Is it addiction, hormones, or OCD? I'm thinking about bringing this subject up with my psychiatrist. Genuinely curious.

@nae nae Yea, I'm going to as well. But my life in that area is so broken and confusing I hate it. It feels like I'm traped

@onedayaat I'm struggling with this, too. I got exposed to a lot at a young age (unrestricted internet access), and I think that's the main cause behind everything for me. I feel a lot of shame and guilt around those things. Although the OCD might heighten it, you know? It's hard to separate what's "you" and what's the OCD sometimes. I believe we'll be able to find some answers, though! :)

@nae nae Yea knowing what's you has become a blur. But I also got thrown under the same bus at a real young age. It also didn't help that a person did stuff with me to expose me to it aswell.

@onedayaat I'm sorry that happened. People did things to us they shouldn't have, and we're left to pick up the pieces... It's rough. Just know you aren't alone in this. I've seen other people on here dealing with very similar, if not the same, issues. Healing takes time, but it's possible.

@nae nae Do you know what to do for trying to stop until my therapy appointment, I'm literally hurting my groin area from compulsively masterbating to much. I feel like I've lost control

@onedayaat Maybe try to distract yourself, try to do something else, something with your hands maybe. I normally do crochet to stop myself from doing compulsions

@Anonymous I've been trying stuff, last night I forced myself to go to sleep to stop.

@onedayaat I agree with the other comment about finding something else to occupy yourself with, whether that be engaging in a hobby or maybe going for a walk. Exercise in general will help. Try to ground yourself and focus on the environment around you instead of the sensations or urges that the body is sending you. If there's a specific room (bedroom, for example) that you engage in this behavior the most in, try spending time in another area of the house. It's going to be uncomfortable, but you need to distract yourself and resist the urge to do it. I'm sorry you're having a difficult time.

@nae nae Ok so I have a question about intrusive things such as images and things you see that might trigger you. This may sound dumb, but can you realize mid thought or whatever it might be that you actual don't enjoy what your looking at or thinking even if your brain sees it or thinks it for a split second?

@onedayaat Can I have an example? I think I understand what you're asking, but I just want to be sure.

@nae nae So you will be thinking about something or looking at something to test yourself. Which I know isn't good to test yourself. But I'll be looking at a yellow bus. And let's say I don't like yellow busses cause they make me think im a harmful person. So I'll purposely be checking to see if I am wanting to be a harmful or thinking I like yellow buses. So I'll Check and then mid check I'll realize that I obviously don't like yellow busses. Does that make sense?

@onedayaat Oh, yes! It does. I've been guilty of doing this a few times. When it happens for me, it feels almost automatic, though... like an intrusive thought, in a way. But a well disguised one.

@nae nae Yea it's like your brain sees the thing that you know bothers you but you have to ground yourself

@onedayaat Exactly. It's frustrating😭

@nae nae I found out my therapist has ocd in today's session and it made me feel like I connected with her even more.

@onedayaat That's helpful then, isn't it? She'll be able to have a deeper level of understanding on what you're dealing with than a therapist without OCD would. I'm glad you're able to have that connection. I hope things have been going well for you? :)

@nae nae Today and Sunday we're better then Friday night and Saturday. But still the anxiety has been really bad. It's ok though. I feel good knowing that she really knows what I'm going through

@onedayaat Yeah, that's awesome! 🫂

I put a basic beginning of what I think the issue is. I'm just overwhelmed at this point.