Getting Back to It

Hello everyone! I used to be on here a lot more when my symptoms first started about four years ago and then really stayed on top of my OCD for about two years. After a while, I stupidly thought I had “beaten” my OCD and didn’t have to take care of it anymore. Fast forward to now, I’ve been slowly relapsing back into my OCD ways from when I wasn’t doing so well. Feel kind of ashamed about letting it get back to this point, but I’m trying not to focus on that right now. Found I still had this app and figured why not try posting again. I don’t really have a question or anything, I just wanted to write something down so I could have some solid proof to myself that I’m going to get back to work. Hope everyone is doing well, and Happy Holidays!

alissaa

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 49w

I was in the exact same spot a year ago! I had worked with an OCD therapist, got my OCD down to non-clinical levels, and had a good two to three years of little to no symptoms. It flared back up, I wasn’t used to using tools and ERP anymore, so I start working with a NOCD therapist throughout 2024 and feel back in a good place again. One of my flaws after my first treatment years ago was thinking I’d “beaten” OCD and that was that. Poof, gone forever. Nope! My brain is my brain and that is okay. I can’t expect perfection from it, and life triggers will cause it to go back to its default setting of compulsive behaviors. Luckily, the TOOLS we have are forever. That, to me, is beating OCD. Knowing that this is how your brain works, but that you have the power to work with it and make it a better place to be.

alissaa

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 49w

@alissaa I relate it to diet and exercise for physical health. It’s something we have to be consistent with in order to maintain our progress. The same way our muscles get weak when we stop lifting weights/exercising, our “tolerance” muscle for uncertainty brain gets weak when we don’t consistently exercise and maintain it with ERP. 🙂

Bomalley

Date posted: 49w

@alissaa Thank you, sincerely. Been super stressed with life stuff and just totally forgot about OCD. Even have thoughts that it’s not as serious a disorder as it really is. Nice to know I’m not alone. Hope your recovery and maintaining of it are doing well!

alissaa

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 49w

@Bomalley Me too! When I’m healthy I start thinking “oh I must’ve just been dramatic back then or less mature”, awful, because I’m fully aware of how serious of a disorder it is. I think it’s easy when you’re doing well to have rose colored glasses on when thinking about past struggles. I think it’s just a way your brain tries to protect you and compartmentalize the painful things we try not to remember. With some work, you’ll get your OCD back to a more manageable place again. You’d be surprised how quick muscle memory kicks back in the second time around. All of that progress over the years is never really lost.

alissaa

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 49w

@alissaa I want to add: please don’t feel ashamed to experiences lapses or relapes. I completely understand feeling that way and I felt that way myself, but all it did was keep me stuck and lower my self confidence. Perfectionism and OCD are closely linked, and I think perfectionism can make us feel like our OCD journey always needs to be linear throughout our lives. We hold ourselves to a standard that isn’t necessarily healthy. Try to practice acceptance of where you are with your OCD, self compassion, and taking small steps toward improving if you feel that’s what you need. I wish you the best of healing 🙂

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