Do you have obsessive thinking

Hello, I’m new to this app. I’ve always had an anxious brain, and I’ve had coping mechanisms for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, from as early as I could spell, until I was probably early teens, I would constantly write words in my head along to the beat of music. It’s such a vivid memory because I never stopped doing it. The word had to perfectly match up to the lyric and I loved that it kept my brain busy. I grew out of that, but felt like good context. My anxiety increased drastically around ages 17-19, and I began therapy. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety and panic disorder, due to having a panic attack nearly every day at that time. I overcame that as well, and now the panic attacks are every now and then, but the anxiety is constant, and some recent symptoms have led me to believe I might have some form of OCD. Maybe not. I’m trying to understand myself and get better so I joined this app to make sense of things. Lately I’ve been having really intense intrusive thoughts. I’m really embarassed and they make me feel like a bad person. Thoughts pop in my head seemingly out of nowhere. It will be an image of me harming myself or someone else in a really bad way. (Trigger warning) for example the other day I couldn’t shake the image of me putting a knife through my own forehead, although it’s not something I want to do. Or I’ll imagine someone killing me. I imagine my loved ones dying often. The thoughts feel so out of my control it’s insane. I hate them. Another persistent issue that isn’t as new is replaying social scenarios. I’m a hairstylist so this one is difficult since I meet a bunch of new people every day. I obsess over how I act and if people like me. I will impulsively say things all the time and they will haunt me for weeks. I question even my closest friends and family who show their love. I find myself so angry and numb and like I have so much built up emotion and a busy mind always. While doing my job I spiral really badly if any little thing goes wrong and it’s embarassing. I know there’s more but I can’t think of it now. I just want to feel better and like I’m not constantly battling my mind.

Hey everyone I know I’ve mentioned this before but, I wanted to share again just in case if anyone new sees this. I deal with cheating ocd really bad, like I always have thoughts about the past and such and get worried about things. I know my morals and values and I know id never ever cheat, but my mind always loves to play the “What if” game. It really sucks. My boyfriend is the sweetest and a god sent to me and he is always there for me but ugh this ocd dealing with cheating and false memory/real events kills me, anyone else relate? I dont know how to put up with it anymore, Just today I remembered I had an old twitter account which is now X, but I remembered I deleted my account a long long time ago but ugh I used to be on twitter so much awhile ago and my ocd acted up and was like “You better go check to make sure you didn’t do anything.” And I remembered I sat with myself and said “I know my morals I would never do that to him.” And then my ocd was like “Are you sure? What if you did?” Etc and my anxiety is now so bad about it now :(

I’ve been triggered so bad this week I’ve had bad anxiety and feel depression coming on. Last night I had a thought oh let’s plan it and I immediately thought why would I think that and started crying bad. I’ve had these thoughts for 7 months I really don’t know why I’m having these thoughts, if I knew I would work on it. Like people say has something happened in your life for you to have these thoughts and nothing has happened, it all started off from what if thoughts , like “what if I’m a psycho” because I saw this fb post saying introverts are more likely to become psychopaths and it all spiralled from there I started getting thoughts about harm towards others and myself. What do you think guys should I treat it like ocd or do you think there’s something seriously wrong with me.