Does anyone else just worry they feel ‘off’ or have anxiety because they are suppressing what they really are? And they don’t even have ocd. It feels so real and like I’ve just supressed it but I love my boyfriend and don’t wann not be with him. It’s also been Xmas and I’m on a plane from the uk to Australia for a month long trip so it could be ocd trying to attack that or it could be what I said up there, denial
From my experience with sexual orientation ocd, there are times when I have intrusive thoughts about sexual interactions with men, as a man that has always been straight, it stresses me out a lot. The one thing that is helping me is that when we have our intrusive thoughts, sex feels good, physical arousal is a normal and natural part of the human body and our reproductive nature, pure attraction is based on actions. If you truly desire to have a relationship with someone of the same sex, it would not be distressing you. The thought of “coming out” would be the stressor. The result of these intrusive thoughts is the feeling that youre lying, it will make you feel like youre a homosexual suppressing your true desires. But you have to remember true desire does not cause anxiety and stress and questions like the ones someone with ocd has which usually is consistent with what ifs . You know who you are and what you want. Confidence is key in this, gain it by being gentle with yourself. Just let the thoughts be there without digging into the what ifs, act like it’s an annoying child trying to get under your skin. Realize this is just your brain on defense mode because it’s the opposite of who you are. I need to take my own advice because I struggle with the same thing. You’ve got this you’re stronger than you know.
Yes, absolutely. I deal with my harm ocd, specifically towards my mom, and have had the same thoughts for months that I wanted to hurt her. I have not ever hurt her, but the thoughts persist. They always feel like they’re in the back of mind, looming. Then I feel fake for choosing to ignore the thoughts, like I am in denial and just suppressing my true self/true feelings. I always feel a bit “off” when the thoughts are looming in the background. I have also become so desensitized to the thoughts where I really don’t feel anxiety anymore. The thoughts make me feel depressed though. It sounds like you’re ruminating a lot, which is of course a common compulsion with ocd. Remember our brains love to solve things and wants answers to questions. For example, when my thoughts persist, I will think “do I actually want to hurt my mom? Would that make me happy? Why do I keep having these thoughts - is there a deeper meaning?” But you aren’t ever going to find an answer that satisfies you, your brain will create another question, another doubt. A good thing to say in these moments is “no amount of analysis will be enough.” Or “thoughts are just thoughts, feelings are just feelings.” It’s not easy, but keep taking a day at a time and be kind with yourself.
I totally get this, it’s like your gut is making you feel like you’re lying. I have a husband, whom I talk to about this and he even knows because I’ve gone through episodes before this is my ocd. Sexuality is thrown around so easy now, which is fine if you’re okay with it but I think it stresses people out. People get turned on by things on the tv or things you might see, and you know what? That’s normal!!! It doesn’t make you gay, it makes you human.
Hi so I've been having a recent theme of soocd hocd. At the start I was all panicked and couldn't leave my house. Now all my emotions feel like they have turned off. It feels real now like I'm just in denial. It's bringing up memories from the past of shows I've watched or people I was friends with to try and prove the point or people I thought were pretty. It's saying you've only realised now cause you are comfortable as I had a difficult childhood. I feel no attraction towards men and can't remember if I ever have now even though I know I did. It's saying its all fake. I really am. Starting to believe it's real and I just feel depressed now. Am I going to have to leave my boyfriend who I planned my life with. It feels like life is going by and I'm stuck. I have no energy at all.
I don’t know what to do anymore, this started nearly a year ago and caused so much stress and panic attacks over the thought of loosing my boyfriend. Now it just feels real and that he always liked girls and suppressed it (but like the boys i always liked in the past were real feelings they had to be and with my boyfriend i love him) but i haven’t got much anxiety now feels like i want the thoughts and that they don’t bother me even tho they used to, this seems to happen every time i get a lil better, idk just feels so true and that’s what i acc want with no stress, just a lil scared.
I’m really anxious because I know my ocd is really bad right now so I shouldn’t try to figure it out cause my thinking is a mess but I’ve been having feelings of like I’m not sure if I love him anymore or worrying that I haven’t felt a lot like numb (a lot because ocd has been getting worse and worse) and thinking of like how I’ve been focusing on the negatives and only been looking at him through that lens and analyzing and also feeling like I don’t want this anymore. Basically just like negative thinking in feeling like I’m really scared it’s that it’s I don’t love him cause I don’t want it to be over and the thought of having someone replace him makes me ill. But like it feels like I’m not seeing him how I used to and it makes me upset. Today I was near someone I was like oh this person is cute and then I was thinking that the possibility of meeting someone new sounds exciting and now I’m freaking out because this in combination with feeling like maybe I don’t love him anymore is bad. Also my thoughts keep changing. and like sometimes it feels like I don’t care at all and this has happened but like worst it’s ever been and then other times I’m like I do care I do still feel. I’m just really anxious has anyone else felt this before and it was still ocd? 😭😭
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