Unsure

My mother said the same, but like, I told him I was comfortable, but you know, OCD is the doubt illness. Now I can't fully trust my uncle, even though he stayed inside as boundaries I set for him.

@Anonymous - Ahh, I see. This is more about internalizing what your dad said than about what your dad objectively said or the fact that he said it. I guess I would say, it's okay to feel the doubt, talk back to it and continue to live your life. If something makes you uncomfortable, tap into it and if the why is "that one thing dad said" I would remind OCD that you make the decisions and it doesn't get to make up a fabricated story to fill in the holes of why your dad must've said that with the worst case scenario. I would also remind OCD that you can feel doubt, or fear or any emotion and it doesn't give OCD permission to use those feelings as evidence. You've got this!

@Anonymous Thank you <3

He literally did something normal, like, it wasn't weird, he knows limits and respects them.

And Honestly my aunt used to do things that made me super uncomfortable and even though I asked her to stop she didn't and everyone went like "But it is okay cuz she is a woman too" and my dad just doesn't even care, but he said that I should not let my uncle do that cuz he is a man. What unsettles me is how could all these words came out of my father mouth, and if he thought the situation was inappropriate, why did he kept quiet and talked about it months later?? Like, I had even forgotten about it cuz my uncle did it once and never again.

@Anonymous My uncles and aunts never stroked me and I have 9 of them.

@Newerthannewb82 Your experience is not universal. Some people’s families have a closer physical bond than others and touch each other often (for reassurance, expressing affection). Not every adult is a predator and treating harmless actions like these as if they are huge red flags is helping muddy the water on what a ped~phile actually is.

@mathsbian Maybe, because there are a lot of things that are normal in my family that many other people find strange, like me talking about my period with my dad, like, he cares about my health, or me changing in front of my mom. I don't find these things strange because they are not malicious, so I guess it depends, but my mom said that man are all like this, she said that her father didn't like her around her uncles, they never did anything to her, she says that man always suspect other men because they find each other dangerous, but if I tell my dad that I'm afraid to be around men he gives me a moral lesson saying that there is no need to be afraid.

@Newerthannewb82 It was just a little caress, like when you caress someone's shoulder to show affection

@Anonymous If I caressed anyone's shoulder it would be seen as sexual. Imo.

But he did not even care that I was comfortable, he talked like he was in my place, and honestly I am mad at him because if he thought my uncle touched me inappropriately, why didn't he do anything??

@Anonymous Like I said, if he thought something wrong was happening, he would have intervened, but I believe it was a reaction to your allowing such action. He just wants you to be mindful and more reserved.